I am being mentally/emotionally abused by my mom. I need help,?
I decided to go online and see what I could find because I wasn't so sure if this is really mental/emotional abuse. My mom and I don't communicate well. She always dominates the conversation and it leads to a bigger argument. Sometimes when things get really heated, she would say a lot of hurtful things. She would call me a slut, a whore. She says it's impossible for me to get better, and I am incapable to being succesful. She says stop crying because it is a weakness. She tries implying that I need 'sexual' help. (and I don't.) Whenever I make a mistake she says if I do it again or keep doing it she will send me away. She judges my friends and isolates me from the outside wrold. She keeps me in the house. She doesn't like it when I go online and tlak to my friends, she also doesn't give me a phone. I'm turning 17 this august. This may seem like she is just a clingy parent and doesn't want to let go of me, but it is way deeper than that. No one understands her like I do.. I did some research and I found this list, and I put a " * " next to it if it applies to me. Making the child/teen feel responsible for the mother's feelings. * Threatening them in general. * Threatening them specifically with rejection or abandonment. * Threatening them with vague, unstated consequences. * Using force upon them. Invalidating their feelings. * Laying undeserved guilt on them. * Placing undeserved blame on them. Dominating the conversations. * Refusing to apologize. * Always needing to have the last word. * Judging or rejecting their friends. * Sending them to their rooms for crying or saying crying is a weakness. * Locking them out of the house. Using punishments and rewards to manipulate and control them. * Invading their privacy. * Under-estimating them. * Failing to show trust in them. * Labeling them. * Criticizing them. * Giving them the silent treatment. * Failing to give them real explanations. * Giving non-explanations such as "because it is wrong" or "because it is inappropriate" or "because it is a sin" There are many more things that my mom does to me but these are just a few.. I just need to know what I can do. What should I do?
Why does my mom treat me unfairly?
I think you should confine your worries about Gabby to the things that affect you directly, such as sharing a room. The best thing might be to designate exactly what is her space and what is yours. You have the right to keep your space neat and free of clutter, but she has the right to keep her space messy, if that's what she prefers. If you can put any kind of physical barrier, such as a room divider, dresser, or other piece of furniture, between your respective spaces, that may help each of you keep your space to yourself. There is nothing you can do about the rest of it. If your parents are more lenient with her than they were with you, what of it? Does that actually harm you now? If they gave her a better Christmas present, does it matter? You got some very nice gifts as well, and it's possible that they didn't give you a laptop because they knew your uncle would. Maybe they planned it all in advance. Maybe your mother is more strict with you because she knows you can handle more responsibility. If she has higher expectations, perhaps it's because she knows you're up to the challenge. Or maybe you're right, and they play favorites. It still doesn't matter, as long as they love you and you get what you need from them. Of course it might hurt to think they care more about her than about you. This is something you need to talk to them about. Give them a chance to explain. I'm sure they love you just as much. But no parent treats all their kids exactly the same. Just talk to them, and be grateful for everything you have.
Unfair detention? Can my mom get me out?
I got a detention today because I had my phone on my desk (it wasn't on and I NEVER text in class). My phone jabs into my side when it is in my pockets and my backpack is so full of books (3 binders, 5 notebooks, etc) it can't fit it in there without coming into contact with danger. I get straight A's and pay attention in class; except for doodling. The handbook states that the phone cannot be used or on during class, it was neither of those. My mom and I are extremely angry about this ridiculous situation. She straight out refuses to sign the slip and writes a long reason why on the back. Is that enough to get me out of detention? I'm in the tenth grade. I know it's just like a meer 40 minutes but its the moral of the thing. PS. I'm sorry if I sound like a total snob Dx
Is my mom treating me unfairly?
I think my mom treats me unfairly. I'm 13 and I have a 10 year old sister and she gets treated much better then me! Today my mom told me to go eat some lasagna, but I was feeling sick so I didn't want to. I eventually went to go eat it, and my sister was already eating. She was being disgusting, and she laughed ; spitting her mouthful in my plate. Then *I* get scolded for letting my food sit for too long and 'If you had eaten before, this wouldn't of happened.' and 'You should of eaten faster!". Note that my sister had been eating the whole time I was feeling sick, and still eating when I came to eat. Somehow it's my fault my food got ruined. And my mom was making escuses like ' You didn't actually want to eat it, thats why you didn't finish it faster.' And Once I touched her cell phone, and then she spazzed out and told my mom. Then my mom got mad at me and said "Dont touch her stuff! She never touches yours!" and then she adds "Exept when your not looking..." and then laughs with my sister. Plus she has an awesome phone. Its touch screen with texting. I have a crappy phone I got 2 years ago and my parents never bothered to replace it even when I asked. She got it for her 'report card' present, when I have to actually work and get good grades for my birthday presents! She just gets hers! She also gets stuff for my birthdays. Once my parents bought her an ipod for my birthday. Sometimes they give her money. I never get anything for her birthday. Sometimes I don't even get things for my birthday. Is this unfair?
It's so unfair, why can't I get food stamps?
A monthly income of $5000 is well above the poverty line, and they are not going to take into account all the bills your family may owe. Try contacting some type of social services office in your area to explain the situation, as it's very important you get adequate nutrition during pregnancy. Edit -- what library is open at almost 4am?
I need advice asap!!! Please! Its not fair?
My husband and I are expwcting a baby boy soon and I'm over the moon happy about being a mommy. However our marriage is suffering at the hands of his mother. I beleive in setting boundries for both our union and our sons life. She however does not. My mother in law crosses boundries left and right even if she's agreed to not. Like spreading my sons name all over before we got to tell anyone. She made him re propose because she wasnt right there when it happened. She talked about me to the whole town and bad mouths my family all the time. She lives 5 minutes away from us they live 9 hours away and yet she feels like they are trying to cut her out. My family doesnt know her well enough to even try. She threw a fit over soup that I made with bacon in it bcause she's a vegetarian and it wasnt fair to her. I decided ita time to delete her on facebook because of some snide remarks shes made. There is so much more.... I can never say anything or stand my ground because my husband is always afraid of it not being fair for her!!! Its not fair you dont want hwr in the delevery room when your mom gets to be. Its not fair that you dwleted her on facebook you should add her back. Its not fair you don't talk to her when I'm gone at work. Its not fair guys to his mom. I feel as if she overstepps and keeps doing it. Am I wrong to want to set boudries or to at least say something? Is my husband right is it not fair that I do these things?
Help PLEASE!!! My Parents treat me unfairly and give all of my belongings to my little brother and sister!!!!!?
But I can't do anything in my room. My parents follow me in there and don't give me any privacy at all. Which reminds me. When I had anxiety about starting school in the first grade, my dad barged into my room when I was naked, pulled me out by the arm, and dragged me outside to embarrass me. I think he may have touched me inappropriately too, when I was younger. He called it a "game" where he would trap me and wrap his arms and legs around me and see if I could escape. He also "tickled" me on my inner thighs (sorry for sounding crude, but right near my vagina) even when I told him to stop. This continued until i was in about the 4th grade, when I just started avoiding him. I don't know if he thought I was playing along or not, but it still bothers me to this day. I feel uncomfortable telling anybody this, because I don't want to sound perverted if he really was just playing, which i don't think he was.
Today, my mother threatened to "beat me to death" or get out of the house after I was treated unfairly and I fought for it, she got pissed. What should I have done? (I’m 12 by the way)
Yes, the only thing that you should have done was to apologize her,broadmindedly.I will not say that you were at total falsehood but yes, their are certain things that are meant to be said and react, in a specific way and to specific people and in specific situations.A mother is the only person that is behind your EXISTENCE and is responsible for everything that you feel protected about. So if she said she'll beat you to death that means,she'll keep correcting you till her last breath.Do not think that you are just twelve and can do anything and don't care for. Even if you don't, your parents does. Especially indian mothers, holistically.If she scold you, beat you,threaten you, then at the same time she come to you and irrespective of your age will feed you food until your stomach bursts!Lastly, I will advise you on personal level which is objective, that learn to respect your MOTHER. To succeed in life it is mandatory for an individual, to gain her sacred blessings throughly.All wise mens in history, who stood above all, are big instances. Be it Lord Rama, Lord Krishna, Lord Ganesha, Lord Hanuman.Even our reigning Miss WORLD 2017, won the paegent because,she mentioned her mother,to be her greatest inspiration.P.S: Perhaps you are too young to understand relationships but I am glad you are amongst those kids who put their efforts to sort things out. GOD BLESS YOU!
What is the most unfair and undeserved punishment you ever got as a kid/teen?
When I was maybe 4 or 5 years old, my mother and I went to a neighbors house to have a meal with some of their friends. I was the only kid there, and I don’t recall knowing any of the other adults except our neighbor.I guess because of me we were leaving earlier than everyone else, so when it was time for us to go we went to the door by ourselves while everyone else stayed in the dining room on the other side of the house. I don’t remember this, but I can only assume my mother had already said our goodbyes before we left the table. But for whatever reason she decided she wanted me to go back in there and say goodbye to everyone by myself.Well, I was an extremely quiet, shy kid, and this terrified me. So I shook my head no. She then suggested I just wave, but I still shook my head no. That’s when she got angry at me, marched me back home, yelled at me and gave me a good spanking as punishment. I stayed in my room crying alone for ages.It doesn’t sound like much, but this memory has stuck with me along with many other little things like it. She yelled at me and spanked me for being shy. In hindsight, she probably felt she was punishing me for not doing something she was telling me to do, but it’s not like I was being deliberately disobedient.Unfortunately, all the years of my childhood, that’s all my mother ever saw. She never tried to understand who I was or why I actually behaved the way I did. She never gave me room to explain my side of things. And even if I tried, she wouldn’t listen or accept that she overreacted because she was always right.As a result, I had a suppressed personality for the longest time, never actually felt loved by my mother, and also developed severe social anxiety. But things got better for me when I moved far, far away.