My 11 Years Old Daughter Wants Hang Out With Her Friends At The Mall

Is it OK that I let my 13 years old daughter hang out with her friends? She generally goes to the mall, then goes to the park and comes back home.

Age 13 is totally subjective. Most 13 year old girls are very impressed by their hormones and somewhat impressed by their logical skills. But little birds must fly. They MUST learn to think for themselves. They MUST. You have only a couple of more years of influence on her, so choose wisely.I drove my daughter to the malls and I usually picked them up. I didn’t explicitly attempt to tell her I trusted her. I trusted her.I never did notice any traces of drugs or drug effects, although I watched for them.She is working on her PhD in psychology. I couldn’t begin to tell you whether I did a great job being a Dad or if I was incredibly lucky.

My 14 year old daughter is being bullied at school; I want to take her to a therapist, but she is refusing. What more can I do to help her?

*head to desk* the mother? father? isn’t asking if their daughter needs self defense classes nor did they even say their child was being PHYSICALLY bullied. If they were that might make sense, but its only going to result in more trouble if she upgrades it to blows when there weren’t blows before.The only other thing I can come up with to assist you is ask you daughter why her friends allow her to be bullied. If she has no friends then quietly investigate peer groups at her school or those of a local church that have students that go to that school that are willing to back her up.There are good kids out there, but they are afraid for the same reason adults are afraid get involved. If they are made aware of the situation and feel like they have the backing / support of the adults in charge they can be a good support. There’s also the possibility if it is girl on girl bullying then its a lot more subtle, and not noticed.

Should I give my 12-year-old daughter assistance in planning play-dates? She has some social anxiety. We have a big family, and we’re new to the neighborhood. Is it inappropriate to invite other girls to join us at the mall or movies?

No, you shouldn’t. It’s nice of you but I think she’d prefer to find her place rather than her parents pushing to it. When I was 12 I remember that I used to “hide” in my room a lot during summer breaks. I thought my family was annoying and I had so many thoughts that I wanted to figure out on my own (for some reason?). It usually didn’t bother me that I spent my days in my room, of course it could get a little too lonely and boring sometimes. However, my mom just made it worse. I know parents wants their kids to have friends and also hang out with them, otherwise it worries them.My mom was very worried that I didn’t have any friends, she kept asking me every morning if I was going to hang out with a friend today, what are my friends doing today…etc. This didn’t help me in any way. Instead, it made me anxious that she pretty much accused me of never being with friends. I was just in a period where I was trying to find myself and I didn’t feel like hanging out with any friends. We talked through social media sometimes which she didn't (still don’t) understand. My mom also made up plans for me, what my friends and I could do together. It bothered me A LOT. I wanted to make my own decisions. This has put its traits on me today, I feel guilty if I spend too much time in my room without being with friends for a long period of time. I talked to her that this has to stop, I am 19 years old today and she still does this sometimes.My tips to you are not to invite girls that she doesn’t know and make them go to the movies etc together. That will only increase her anxiety. She will probably find friends she likes when she starts school again and not friends that her parents found suitable for her. I would instead ask her if she wants to come along to the things you or someone else in the family are doing. It could just be going to the store, drinking soda in the garden, watching a movie or maybe baking a cake. Even if she says no, you have tried and showed her that she is always invited whenever she feels like it. I remember it bothered me that my parents stopped asking me because they just assumed I didn’t want to. Therefore just keep asking and let her make her own decisions. She is growing up.

Should I let my 13 year old daughter go trick or treating with her 11 or 12 year old friends? She typically hangs out with kids who are a bit younger than her and those girls are planning to go.

No. Definitely not. It is January. I don’t know where your daughter’s friends are planning on going but they are certainly not going trick-or-treating. I repeat, IT IS CURRENTLY THE MONTH OF JANUARY. Trick-or-treating is an activity that is associated with Halloween. Halloween is October 31st. Your daughter and her friends are up to something. Don’t let her go and call her friends’ parents. Katelyn, You need to get to the bottom of this.

Is it okay to drop off my 14-year-old daughter at the mall barefooted? She likes to window shop and hang out with friends. Should I be concerned?

Well, I have a drastically different opinion than Debora lol. I have been a barefoot hippy my whole life. I grew up hating shoes, found ways to go nearly barefoot when I worked away from home (Vibrams FTW! You can also make cheap pairs yourself using toe socks and spray sealant.), and ONLY wear shoes now because my husband is staunchly against our daughters walking around everywhere barefoot and if I do it, they want to. SO! I think it’s fine.I go barefoot as much as possible, inside and outside.If your daughter is wanting to walk around barefoot and you’re concerned, tell her that there are chances that she could hurt her foot - which she probably already knows. You can even ask that she keeps a pair of roll-up ballet slippers (the cheap kind) or flipflops in her purse in case she has to walk across iffy areas or if she wants to go into a shop that doesn’t allow bare feet.You shouldn’t be too concerned, tbh. I find it more comfortable and prefer it. I love it and there are some hippies out there (like myself!) that insist it’s better for your foot health and your overall health. You’ll find a lot of info about “grounding” out there, which needs to be done with bare feet.In regards to what her friends may think - they probably already know, don’t care, or find it endearing. I actually went out clubbing (when I was much younger) with a friend barefoot. The clubs didn’t care, my friends thought it was funny, and I didn’t cut my foot once! ;) However, HIGHLY recommend that she take baby wipes or disinfectant wipes because public bathrooms and even sidewalks can be nasty. If she steps in something gross, believe me - she’ll want them!In regards to being concerned, have you tried asking her why she likes to go barefoot?Sure hope this helps!