How is one's life affected when living with asperger's?
I am currently writing a novel about a boy with asperger's disorder and his relationship with a compulsive liar, but here's the problem. I do not have asperger's nor have I ever been in contact with a person living with it. In fact, I'd only just heard of the disease about a year ago. I looked it up on google and found a list of symptoms. From that list I have decided that my character will be diagnosed with mild asperger's, displaying clumsiness, an unusual fixed interest in something, and social awkwardness i.e. trust issues, difficulty meeting eye contact, inability to read body language and facial expressions. However, since I have no contact with anyone with asperger's I have no idea if this would sound like a real person. I don't know how to build a real person off of this or if this even sounds like a person with asperger's. I know they say to write about what you know, but I like to expand my horizon. If any of you have any help or suggestions I'd very much appreciate it.
Why is life just so unfair with Asperger's?
I would trade all my possessions and money for a cure. I want to be like everyone else because they have much richer social skills/lives. They have girlfriends, people their age who care for them, etc. I am very racist and bitter towards black people because others admire them for their excellent social skills and approachability, but they don't feel sorry for Asperger people who struggle with social skills in jobs and being lonely. I don't care about kids in Africa because they don't have Asperger's and I throw a tantrum when I don't get an Iphone 5s because I DESERVE IT DUE TO MY DISABILITY! I will never grow up or stop acting like a spoiled brat because I have freedom of speech/whining!!! And yes, Asperger's IS a disability because the military has a stupid ban on people with the diagnosis, which means my dream to serve the country has been shattered.
Help....I have asperger syndrome and...?
These are some of the things that apserger syndrom causes me to do - Be in my own world - Turn conversations back to me (talk about myself) - Find relationships confusing - Im really quiet and shy - I get really strong interests/obsessions - I have difficulties making friends - Im scared of change - I find it hard to make eye contact I want help...I wanna be like a normal person and not have these difficulties.
How do I ignore the social aspects of college?
I’m new to this, but I think that this question would be helpful if it included some sort of backstory. Hopefully i’m doing this commenting thing right. Anyhow, I will disclose that I am currently in my first year of community college, and while I am having academic success, my disdain for college that I had in high school still exists. I was forced to go here by my grandparents, whom I live with, after I outright refused to go out of high school. I worked in retail for a short period of time, but ultimately decided that I pursue the lesser of two evils, mainly because college didn’t have a graveyard shift.Anyway, I have always been an individualist. My mother always said that I was just like my late grandfather, who dropped out of college and never believed in it back in the 1960s. I do just fine at school, I have always been a straight-A student, but where I excel in academics, I fail in social life. I have Asperger’s Syndrome, which limits my ability to engage in social activities - normally I will either have intense bursts of rage when confronted by people I’m not close friends with or I will ignore them altogether in a passive manner. I do this not to offend people, but because of my mental state which people often do not understand, label me, and then viciously bully me for.Anyway, I chose community college because I thought that it would separate me from the degenerate party atmosphere of most universities. I am a very staunch conservative, and am extremely disdainful towards how people my age act - I am anti-drug, anti-sex, and anti-collectivist. Sadly the college atmosphere embraces all of these traits, and I am constantly faced with people high, making out in public, and promoting socialism and communism. I want to pursue an education - I love mathematics and science - but all of these external factors make me extremely depressed. What are some good ways I can overcome the social norms of college without conforming to them? Dropping out is my last resort, but I am considering it.
Is there any way to tell if I have asperger's syndrome?
For a long time I thought I had social anxiety, and my grandfather, my father, and I have obsessive compulsive disorder, and I suffer depression, and have a schizoid personality. After years of questioning, I recently just decided to research asperger's some more, and discovered that I have so many of the symptoms it's scary, and after taking this test (http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=1982215450153908026) I scored fourty (apparently those with 32 or above are likely to have something related to autism...) I never had any learning problems or speech development problems, but I'm extremely slow and awkward with social interactions, I often not "get" jokes and I can't read body language, and sarcasm is hard to detect. I don't know how to talk to people, no matter how comfortable or uncomfortable I feel with them. I think the anxiety I feel with people now is caused probably by a mixture of other things not related and this inability to get on with people. If there's something going on with a person, like if they've been feeling sad lately or something, I'm dead last to get it. I can't make eye contact either. I don't know how to look at people. I'm also very obsessive about a bunch of different topics--I have a huge fascination with astronomy and music and other things, and used to be able to name a lot of dinosaur species and country names (can't remember those ones anymore though). I can't converse with people for the life of me. I don't know what to say. Whenever I do talk to someone, they always complain that I'm ranting on about the same thing or a certain subject and get way too into detail etc, and it's often a one-sided conversation, making me feel like an idiot. This is probably why I don't have any friends. I'm not asking anyone to diagnose me, but some opinions, especially from those with AS, would be cool. Also, is there any sort of way to help cope with it, or any advice or anything..? Thanks.
What are the affects of a socially isolated life?
The effects of too much isolation are poor social skills and an advanced case of being self-absorbed. It can also increase your social anxiety, insecurity, and lead to depression (which has adverse effects oh your physical health). When you lack interaction, you become so self-absorbed that you worry about you, what makes you comfortable, what you need, what you can't stand, you you you. You lose your ability to see beyond your own perspective. You lose your ability to empathasize. You show little interest in others because you are worrying about your own discomfort, fear, insecurity and your own perceived flaws. You come off as unfriendly and aloof. What you should do is look up people you once knew and get to know them again. Make it all about them. Don't hide behind your own fear of being judged. Focus on them, their thoughts, their feelings, what they would do in situations, etc. Join a gym or fitness center and meet new people doing things that you do. Once again, make it all about them. Give others the attention, admiration, recognition, respect, and acceptance you crave for yourself. It will come back to you, as you inspire others to feel good when they're around you. Plus, the exercise will make your body produce hormones and chemicals that will make you feel good, relieve stress, and feel more alive and motivated. You can do this. It is a personal choice. Get out of your comfort zone and just do it!
What daytime job has the least social interaction for people with autism or Asperger?
Well, anything you can do from home will fit your requirements. You might have to interact with clients but if you manage this well you can limit the channels to email or phone - whatever you are more comfortable with.I do agree with some of the other answers that avoiding social interaction will make it harder to do in your life outside work, but you know your limits and tolerances best. Yes, it’s good to push yourself sometimes, but there’s no logic in pushing yourself into a meltdown, or a full on burnout. Trust me, I have learnt that lesson (finally) and you don’t need to go through the same experience to know it’s not wise or safe to push yourself too far.I have decided to work from home (this decision wasn’t entirely due to Asperger’s, but my former career as a butcher doesn’t work with chronic pain/fatigue) and it means I’m not exhausted all the time from interacting with people.It does mean that when I am interacting with people I can cope with it because I have the energy left to make conversation, which I don’t if I have to serve customers all day and train up new staff as well as deal with suppliers and people phoning up for various things.Thanks for the A2A.
I have ADHD, OCD and Asperger’s and struggle with doing my work; are there any strategies I can use to get up to par?
Good question. I also have ADHD and autism. I struggle at work.Here’s my advice on strategies.Arrange regular meetings with your line manager. Meeting provide useful structure, direction, address problems and are re-assuring.Replace overwhelming big projects with smaller easily managed tasks. Set yourself smaller, regular deadlines rather than some distance objective.Be good humoured and self deprecating. I’m know for interrupting others and for my social gaffes. Take this difficulties in your stride, rather than let them bother you.Executive function seriously impaired by ADHD and autism. Learn how executive function can limit your ability to switch tasks or self supervise. The more you know about executive function, the more empowered you feel.When taking complex instructions from others, don’t be shy. Ask for clarification and repeat back what you’ve heard to make sure you’ve understood.Careless mistakes are an everyday problem with ADHD. So get other people to check detailed work for errors.Consider reading my Quora blog on life with ADHD and autism No half measures.And as you can see from me, present your information is short and informative bullet points.
Why can't my boyfriend with Aspergers see his recurrent verbal abuse towards me?
After having lived with an Aspie for over two years I really do empathize with your situation. I will be generalizing with my wording from now on, but I do believe there are exceptions to the rule in people of the spectrum.I prominently learned that talking back in a way fueled with anger doesn’t and never will work, for they only see it as an attack that was not elicited by them in any way. You will be demonized in their eyes and they will continue to think they are simply logical beings who are always right.It doesn’t seem to be in their nature to see themselves doing anything ‘wrong’; even if you completely mirrored their behaviour toward them, they would weasel a way for it be acceptable for them to behave that way but not for you.They best thing I began to do was to simply limit our interaction. You do this, you cannot receive vitriol because even from a logical standpoint, your absence is not abusive and is completely within your right. Our aspie housemate actually further enabled this to occur when asking ‘will you be easier to live with now you have a new car?’ This was a week after he forced me to look through bathroom garbage for his missing razor, which I’d never touched, but was held responsible for losing because I cleaned the flat we all dwell in that he never does himself, among other horrible instances of him yelling and throwing things. I replied simply with ‘I won’t be around much anymore, so yes I will.’Since resorting to distance I have regained my social life I had lost through trying so hard to help him work on being more dateable and likeable; which was a thankless job anyway. I am regaining my self again.I still live with him, I still consider him a good friend. I simply do not interact with him as much as HE feels he deserves and my quality of life has improved very much. Aspie or not, a person can only help their own pain, and no matter what they say about autism, it isn’t an excuse to take their frustration and pain out on their friends or loved one.It is not your job to manage HIS emotional turmoil, no matter how much responsibility he may try to dump on your shoulders. It is not your fault he doesn’t understand you no matter how you phrase what you try to say. It is not your fault he excuses bad behaviour on ‘frustration’. Unless there is a strong and good bond in other aspects (such as my roomie being insanely loyal and kind on his good days), get out now.