My best friend is in love with me, but I don't know how I feel about him. Help?
Okay, bare with me y'all. I've been best friends with this guy for 3 years. I liked him on and off for those years. Apparently, he started liking me about 10 months ago, but didn't tell me. He took me to my senior prom, and we were flirting and whatnot, and it surprised me. He said at the end of the night that he liked me, and I told him I liked him as well. Two days later, he friendzoned me for another girl who lasted like a week with him. We didn't speak for 3 months. He contacted me a month ago and came to my house after he asked. We talked, everything was fine and dandy, until he said he never stopped liking me. What. So basically I was shell shocked. I thought this guy had totally written me off, no communication for 3 months and whatnot. We ended up kissing that night (his first kiss, my second). Ever since, we've been hanging out all the time. I miss him when he's gone, and I have so much fun with him. He brought me a milkshake at 9 pm (he lives half an hour away from me) in a storm just because he wanted to see me. He understands and accepts my ADHD, OCD, severe anxiety disorder, and tourettes. He loves my parents and vice versa. I told him a few months back that my dream job was a youth pastor's wife, because it's as close to counseling that I can get (can't go to college), and it's with teens, and in a Christian atmosphere. He tells me later that he actually is studying to be a youth pastor. He's literally everything and nothing that I've ever dreamed of. (Yes, confusing, I know.) The only problem? I don't exactly...feel anything for him yet. I know love isn't an emotion, it's a choice. An action. I explained this to him and he just smiled and said "I'll wait for you." How insanely sweet is that?? I explained it further like this. "What we are right now are best friends, and I guess we're just seeing if I ever catch up with you..." and he laughed and said to put my running shoes on. xD I am fully aware he can't wait for me forever. But this is basically my problem. My guy friend is in love with me, but with all the walls I've put up, I'm having a hard time reciprocating. I know deep down I would love to marry him, but every time I think about that too much, I get scared and just think "nope nope, just friends". Please help. Thank you so much!!
My best friend is in love with me?
He tells me every day that he loves me so much. He says things like "I can't even imagine finding anyone better than you", "I don't want anyone else I want you", "I will wait for you forever", "I want to be with you forever", "you are my girl and the only girl I want", "I'll never hurt you, if I do I'll hate myself", and "I've never felt this way about any girl before". I just feel really bad because I always tell him I love him and he's amazing and stuff but I don't know I love him the same way... I've been selfish and I haven't told him that exactly. Ive said I don't wanna date him right now but I'm scared to really do anything about it. I don't wanna hurt him cause I really do love him, but I just don't think I want to date him. What should I do?
The language you are using is strange: If you don’t LIKE her, how can she be your best friend? …..If you mean you don’t LOVE her back romantically, you need to tell her this and decide whether you can stay friends or should part.If she can’t keep her hands off you, you will probably need to part as this is disrespectful. if she can, and if she can handle your going out with a guy later on, without her making your life a misery with jealousy etc, then you could stay friends.I would avoid a relationship where the boundaries are unclear. It will make you both unhappy.
Best friend is in love with me, but I don't feel the same. What am I supposed to do?
You may think he loves you, but he is also manipulating you. He's figured out that smoking weed, or threatening to hurt himself, will earn your attention, so he'll continue to do that as long as it works. When you think of it that way, does that sound like someone who actually cares about your feelings? And more importantly, would you be willing to spend your life pretending to love him just (supposedly) so he won't kill himself? I understand that you care about him. And he probably does care about you, but in a more selfish way: he doesn't really want to see you happy, he only wants you to be happy as his girlfriend. When he does things like beat up someone who slapped you, he's just putting on a performance that advances his agenda. Think of it this way: would he beat up the guy and keep it a secret from you? No. He'd make sure you knew about it because he's more interested in making an impression on you than actually just protecting you. So telling him the truth is what you must do, to save your own sanity and regain control over your own life. Now, make no mistake: telling him the truth will be very hard. But it's something you have to do. You should tell him that you will never love him romantically (never, ever, ever), and state that in no uncertain terms. You should tell him that when you sing to him or hug him, it's not a romantic gesture and he shouldn't interpret it that way. Then you should tell him that if he threatens to hurt himself, you feel like you're being manipulated and that he's hurting you by doing it; and if he really cared about you he wouldn't do it. You should tell him that you very much would like to remain friends, but that's up to him. Tell him that if he really cares about you, he'll accept your terms for this relationship and let you date other people in peace, because that's what will truly make you happy. What I suspect that is that he will put on a big emotional show and try to manipulate you into saying or doing something you do not want. Watch for that, and when it happens, stand strong. Good luck.
“Love and Friendship”, both the words have their own importance. Love gives us pain and frienship gives us peace. Love is unconditional but it's a need. Friendship is forever but it's a Joy. Love is eternal and friendship too. But in love you think about the other person and forget youself, but in frienship you love the other person not by forgetting youself. Frienship makes you stronger and loves makes you weaker(Exception are always there). There is a very thin line between love and friendship.Both the words are very powerful. If u say , “you love him as a friend” , that means you love yourself first and then your friend.If u say , “ you have fallen in love with him”, that means you love him first by forgetting yourself. He’s more important than your life.You got to understand this, “Everything that falls, get broken”. Without a heartbreak you can't say , that you have been in love ever.Now just take time, and think. Do you love him or not.??Is he your friend??OrIs he your lover??OrIs he your soulmate??As of now. By looking at your question. I think you are puzzled in your own thoughts.Solution to this is : Get distinct from your Bestfriend. Stop texting him for few days. You would get to know the real truth of yours. Just listen to your heart. Imagine that he is not your friend anymore. You would get to know , the feeling you are going through is love or it's just a friendship.If you are clear on this, that he is just your Bestfriend! Nothing more than that. Then why are you so much concerned about him.If you think , that he is your Bestfriend than just go to him and tell everything straight forward.Why are you hesitating ??If he is your Bestfriend , he would totally understand your situation. Because friendship is more important that love. If he is your true friend, he would choose friendship over love.Don't get conscious. Be brave enough to face it. Wether it's a breakup or rejection. (In terms of frienship).P.S - Friendship and love are like worshipping a god. Needs more devotion and patience. Don't destroy it. It takes million of days to build it and a second to destroy it.All the best.
My GIRL best friend, is in love with me but i don't feel THE SAME.?
Well, I have a little experience in this situation, except I am on the opposite side of the fence. I am the one in love with my best friend.......you see, I have never told her, because I think it would just be too difficult. I am afraid she would have the same reaction as you did. And on top of it, I never found myself falling for a female before. She is the one exception. Anway, I can tell you from my own experience that she would prefer to have you as a friend rather than nothing at all. Sometimes these deeper feelings grow just from loving your best friend, as a best friend. You can't help it when it happens. And I am sure your friendship is the most important thing to her. Even more important than her being in love with you. I gaurantee that is was really really hard for her to tell you how she felt. I struggle everyday, wondering if I should tell my best friend. And everyday, I decide not to because I would never want to lose my best friend. So I am sure she is hating herself right now for telling you. But you have to remember, she had those feelings for you before she ever came out and told you, and she never made a move on you and made you feel uncomfortable, so don't feel uncomfortable around her now. And be grateful because she loves you just for being you. I'm sure she will understand if you are honest with her and tell her that you don't feel the same as she does. She is probably expecting that response anyway. It was just a relief for her to get it off her chest. Don't feel weird around her and don't stop hanging out with her. She is your best friend and she will do anything for you. Be patient with her and things will go back to normal. Don't feel that she is checking you out all the time, if you tell her the truth, she will respect all that you tell her. Don't forget that she loved you as a best friend before she felt more for you, and you being her best friend will never change, and nothing can get in the way of that, not even love. If you think I can help you see your friend's side anymore, and help to mend the friendship than feel free to email me. It'll help me see the other side too. So we'll be helping each other. :o)
My best friends in love with me?
Definitely talk to him. You're friends and obviously he's fawned of you. You just have to tell him that you don't feel the same way about him. You care for him and like him, but you're just not attracted to him in a romantic way. It might change your friendship, but he has to understand or work at it if the two of you want to get through it. My own experience was with a girl I liked and became friends with. I let her know I had feelings for her and she said the same thing "I'm sorry, but I just don't feel that way about you." That was 13 years ago, she's married now and we are still close friends.
First, you should tell him that you only see a friend in him if you haven't done it yet. Then, I feel you shouldn't just leave him right away because his feeling would be intense right now and it will break him. You can keep things as usual but keep reinforcing the thought that you are just friends and may be you can start moving away from him slowly. So, when you guys finally part your ways in future, assuming that would be the best thing to do if you can't continue as friends, it won't be as hard as it would be for him if you leave him now.Meanwhile, you should take care that you shouldn't be too flirty and emotional. It would also help if you can be friendly with other guys in front of him and treat them as equals with him. But yeah this can take a toll on you too. But this will help him if you care for him.Saying all this out of personal experience and I am a guy who was treated that way. Thanks to my friend, I am all good now, she is happy with a person of her choice and the best thing is we are still in contact and are very good friends.
Don't run away from him that won't help anyone. Instead be normal i know its hard but don't kill the precious bond you already have with him.Its difficult to find Friends that genuinely care for you and you already have him , don't push him away .I get that you have these feelings and emotions and you feel hurt that he doesn't share the same but lets admit it crying over it doesn't help it only makes it more difficult . you have tried pushing him away , you have taken your time to sort your emotions but that didn't help so here is what you do :-Give him his friend back . you love him thats alright love him , give him your care and madness and he cares for you too , you know it so for now be happy that he is there . arrange a meeting with your friend and talk to him calmly and tell him that i'm still your friend make him realize that you are not gone somewhere into the woods , instead be this amazing person who is stable and okay against all odds.In this very time you must take care of yourself , spend time with yourself . don't run away from this feeling that you love him , remember running away never helps its for the cowards and you certainly are NOT one.Give yourself time to Balance your emotions and find ways to relax - do some exercise , be with nature, it'll give you clarity . you will get all your answers eventually.Remember love is to be given and not asked for.when you demand love, you destroy love. You can't ask someone to love you but you can still love them and maybe if its yours , you'll get it and if not you have a life full of wonders , you never know what'll happen ❤