My boyfriend has a few female friends who live in other states and text him. How can I not stress over it?
Ok, this is going to sound odd....Jealously is about doubt of oneself not of the other person. Now of course if he really loves you he will tone it down and be open and honest about it.But the real way to get over it, is to realize what an amazing catch you are, how totally insane he would be to want someone else, and if by some crazy circumstance he did, why would you want him anymore anyway? As this would mean he honestly fell in love with someone else, which stings but he has a right to be happy. Or it means he is of week character and has no self control it which means you need exactly NOTHING from him and should find someone who cherishes you the way you cherish yourself.But consider this your subconsciouses very gentle way of saying "hey you aren't listening to me, which means you don't really love & respect yourself, this makes you mad at yourself, doubt yourself and then wonder why your SO is with you, which then causes you to looks for signs they are cheating. So take a deep breath, forgive yourself for all trespasses, listens to your gut, and be the awesome person you know you are deep inside"Your subconscious is very helpful in this way =)
What do you do when your live-in boyfriend chooses his friend over you? My boyfriend moved his friend, who is a heavy drinker, into our house almost three months ago and he hasn’t paid a single dime to be here. He’s lost two jobs now due to drinking.
You talk to your boyfriend about it. Tell him you will not continue to support his friend who his an alcoholic. Who pays for his alcohol? You and your boyfriend?If your boyfriend really is choosing his alcoholic friend over you I would get out of there. Fast. Does your boyfriend realize he is enabling his friend by letting him take advantage of you both?People need help to get off alcohol and if he wants to do that there are groups to help him. If he is not attending any of these groups to help him get off his addiction then you and your boyfriend are not doing him any favors. You know this. Don’t continue to be part of it.Oh, and as someone else mentioned, hide your valuables. Addicts will do anything to support their habit. He will steal from you if he hasn’t already. Wait, he already is, by living there and taking all he can.
My boyfriend wants to live with his female friend. Am I being unreasonable?
My boyfriend would sooner die then let me live with a male that used to have feelings for me. My boyfriend would hate for me to be living exclusively with somebody of the opposite sex anyway. You are not being unreasonable at all. Your boyfriend may be wanting to do this because it can help him education wise but you shouldn't have to compromise with whether or not you are happy about the situation for anybody.Not only that but a little bit of alcohol leads to a lot of cheating in relationships that are actually completely happy. Why would anybody want to put a temptation in their house.I would firstly recommend meeting her. If after meeting her you still feel as though this is wrong then speak up and don't let anybody tell you that you are in the wrong.Do you think that he would be ok with you living with somebody exclusively that used to have feelings for you? You both may be very different with how you see these kinds of situations but if you are not willing to compromise than the relationship will never work.My partner told me that he doesn't like me messaging my male friends and at first, I was very angry about it. He argued that he never messages girls at all and that would piss me right off. I have many male friends that I have been close with for years and I am a massive tomboy in a lot of ways, plus I am more social than him, so that made no sense to me. He doesn't have any close female friends. You can't compare.And yet, I could see where he was coming from. Why not just confide in them less often? So I did. I cut back quite a lot and invested more time with my girlfriends. Even though I know that I would never cheat on my partner, I understand and respect how he feels and I conpromise. Don't get me wrong, I am not entirely happy about it, but my partner feels so strongly about it, I have accepted it is what it is. My partners happiness is more important to me than my need for messaging my male friends.From different perspectives, neither one of you are being unreasonable but if there can be no compromise then somebody is going to have to accept it for how it is. The real question is can that person be you or is this something that you will never be able to it accept as being ok?
My boyfriend has decided he wants to live with his friend instead of me, even though we have been together for 2 years, I feel so hurt and upset what should I do?
Wow. This is a hard question to answer.Guess I’ll start by saying I don’t think it’s optimal for an unmarried couple to live together. I realize today it’s pretty common, and yes, a good chunk of my opinion is because of my faith, but I think your situation shows why.Normally if you had a short-term relationship, assuming his friend is male, I’d say he’s making a good call. Especially if it gets him out of his parents house, it’s a good way to become more independent, and start establishing his own life. And that could be beneficial to your relationship with him.Two years, though, that begs a different question.Because what I sense you’re feeling is he’s been with you a long time, hasn’t married you, and in moving in with someone else, he’s clearly not thinking marriage, at least no time soon.Frankly, you’re right!What concerns me is he seems to be comfortable in your relationship without feeling the need to move on to marriage. This my come across as a bit direct, but part of that could be that he gets all the sex he wants, and enjoys the benefits of no commitment, and you’re “OK” with that (in his view) because you’re still with him.You’re at a disconnect with him. And unfortunately, it seems like you’re going to have an uncomfortable talk with him, becaues ultimately marriage is a decision. After two years, he should know you well enough to decide if he is going to stick with you forever.But if he’s not going to decide, you have a tough decision to make, because if he’s comfortable the way things are and you’re not, you’re going to remain unhappy until you choose to move on.Take care, and let us know how it goes. God bless…
My boyfriend's friend tries to break us up!?
your bfs friend is gay and is in love,
Moving in with boyfriend and his friend?
no you are not wrong for feeling that way.. it's hard enough moving in with your boyfriend, whom you don't know how each other lives.. and then on top of that you have to live with someone else, who you hardly know... and you have to adjust to your boyfriend and his friend.. I say no.. because everyone will be in everyone's space and that will just cause conflict and maybe cause you to move out or break up with your boyfriend.... If your boyfriend can't understand where you are coming from now, then i really don't think you should move in with him...at least not now
How should i react when my boyfriend invited his friend to live with us whithout asking my permission?
If you have been with him 7 years you should step aside with him and hash this out. My ex moved in a guy like that and we had some major issues. I think if we had sat down and talked about it things would have been better. You need to talk to your boyfriend and TOGETHER talk to the roommate. Tell him to shape up or ship out.
What should I do about my boyfriend’s best friend that keeps trying to break us up?
This is an incredibly difficult situation.What I think you should do is really examine your relationship, and the other relationships you share with your bf. It’s entirely possible to love a bf, and realize that you don’t get along with anybody else in his sphere. So look carefully. How about his other friends? How about his family? How about your family? Do your family and friend care for and embrace your bf as your partner?You may realize that it’s you and your bf, and everybody else doesn’t really fit. This situation doesn’t bode well for long term relationship happiness. Life is impossible to live in a bubble, especially once you’re living together. Not getting along with family and friends is a red flag, not to be ignored.The other problem is that your bf isn’t telling his friend to knock it off. He isn’t standing up for you and the relationship. This is also problematicIf I’ve analyzed the situation correctly, it looks like you have two red flags to figure out.
I slept with my boyfriends best friend, should I tell him?
My boyfriend and I had been having a lot of problems. I found out that he cheated on me and eventually I forgave him. We have been together for 5 years and I truly love him. I began to have feelings for his best friend a couple years ago but I pushed them as far away from my thoughts as possible. But all 3 of us hang out together All the time. It is only on very rare occasions that just me and my boyfriend go out. So naturally we are all very close and sadly my feelings for his best friend continued to grow until I couldn't stand being in the same room as him. I told him how I felt one day and he told me that he felt the same way, one thing lead to another and we started fooling around for months. We have slept together several times. All this sneaking around has made me depressed and even suicidal. I HATE LYING. Every time I lie to my boyfriend it kills me inside. I think I wasn't over the fact that my boyfriend cheated before and used that to justify what I was doing. I have ended things with his best friend even though we are still great friends we both know how wrong what we have done it. I want to tell my boyfriend because he was honest with me and i know that he deserves the truth. I know I may lose him forever over this but i'm finally ready to deal with that. The HUGE problem is that by telling my boyfriend I will destroy their friendship and the lives of everyone around us will change, all our families and friends are so close and intertwined. PLEASE HELP me decide what to do. Should I tell him or not? I still love my boyfriend more than anything in the world, I regret what I did so much and I would give anything to take it back. Should I marry him and live with this guilt forever or tell him and ruin his friendship, his life and our relationship.
Am I selfish for wanting to live with only my boyfriend and leave his best friend to find his own place?
Am I selfish for wanting to live with only my boyfriend and leave his best friend to find his own place?Ohhhh have I been in this situation before.You want to be in a romantic relationship with just your boyfriend where you start a family/household with just the two of you. You don’t want someone else crashing the romance. Someone living with you is the ultimate third wheel. Romantic dinners for two? Awkward while his friend hides in their room. Sex in the living room? Probably not.I understand where he’s coming from too. He can’t afford to live with just the two of you apparently. That sucks, but you don’t want some quasi polyamorous living arrangement. The two of you need to figure out your finances so you can live together without the ball and chain of a roommate.If he wants to continue living the bachelor life with roommates then you need to talk about ending the relationship because you both have different expectations and it’s not going anywhere. This isn’t to be used as an ultimatum. You’re in a serious relationship. If you’re both serious about moving forward then you need to do this together. His best friend should have enough time to figure out his living arrangements elsewhere while you two figure out how to move in together.