Do I HAVE to eat lunch with my coworkers?
I work in an office full of women, I'm also a woman. They can be very b*tchy and have a clique mentality. I'm the new girl, I've been working there for about 2 months. Everyone is older than me. For the first month of working there, they kept asking me to go out and eat lunch with them but I always brought lunch because frankly I cant afford to eat out every day. I kept turning their offers down. Eventually I started noticing some shade being thrown at me for turning them down for lunch - for example, some of the women would make sarcastic jokes like "You know you don't have to stay in the office, right? Haha" Or "Don't be scared, you seem standoffish, are you Mormon or something? Haha" borderline inappropriate comments. Apparently not having lunch with them is the worst thing I could have possibly done based on how theyre treating me like an outsider now. I really don't know what to do about this situation, it seems very high schoolish. I feel pressured to eat lunch with them now but its weird at this point. I should also point out there's only 5 of us working in the office including myself.
Are my coworkers trying to make me fat and why do they comment on vegetarianism?
I am a 5'1 woman and I weigh about 115 pounds. I lost about 15 or 16 pounds a year ago and kept it off. It may not seem like a big deal but that was about 4 pants sizes I lost (i also gained muscle). I do not consider myself to be "skinny" by any means, but I am happy with my height and my doctor also said that I was at a healthy weight for my height. My blood pressure is where it should be, and I do about 4 to 7 hours of exercise each week (about 60% cardio and 40% weight training). My problem ? The people I work with seem to always want me to eat more and more, or they question my diet (I have ALWAYS been vegetarian) saying I NEED to eat meat. For example, we all went to an italian restaurant for lunch, and I had some bread with butter, salad, and i was able to finish about 1/3 of the BIG plate of spaghetti. I asked for a container to take the rest home, and my coworkers were like "oh come on, you are too skinny, you can finish the rest of that." Another time, someone brought in cake with lots of frosting. I did not want to eat it because I eat sweets sparingly as it is my weakness. Two of my coworkers made a comment on how I could "have just one bite" or that I "needed" to eat the cake since I was too small. Also with the meat thing, my reason to not eat meat is because of my religion. I don't care what other people eat, and I never question what they eat, so why should they question what I eat? I was invited to go out to a steakhouse for lunch and at this particular steakhouse the only vegetarian option was baked potato and salad. I declined, they questioned me why, and I told them the truth that they don't have much vegetarian options, and they began saying how I NEEDED to eat some meat or that I don't have enough protein. WTF? I get enough protein through greek yogurt, lentils, beans, nuts, and whole grains. If my doctor doesn't have a problem with my diet, then why should they? I just read a Yahoo article about this and I am curious. Does anyone else experience this? Are these people secretly trying to make me fat or is their view of what a healthy weight is distorted? I usually ignore them, but is there a better way to deal with theses people?
Should I Tell My Coworker About My Eating Disorder?
I really feel for you. That is a hard decision. I had a long battle with that disease myself, but have been able to maintain a normal weight range for the last 3 years. My co-workers and boss used to beg me to eat lunch with them. I'd always decline (I always ate circus peanuts or animal crackers for lunch, if anything) but they'd keep hounding me about it for hours everyday. One day, when my boss was bothering me about lunch again, I snapped and just walked away from him crying. He ended up bringing me into the office and confronting me about what was going on. He said I looked exhausted all the time, I had showed up really late for work a few times, and I was acting spacy. He said everyone had been worried for awhile. He didn't mention weight, but I have a distinct feeling that it was a concern for him. The week before I had rolled up my sleeves to work on something, but I forgot to roll them back down when he came up to talk to me. I had caught him looking at my arms. Anyways, long story, but he ended up calling a company counselling service for me, which marked a very bumpy road to recovery. I noticed that people did change after that. Not that I was treated better or worse, it was just different. Suddenly, nobody bullied me about eating lunch with them. In fact, they didn't talk about food around me at all. The few times I did eat in front of them (company picnic and holiday party), I always noticed those people that knew, would watch what I had put on my plate. Hehe. I even had someone come up and say how proud they were of me because they'd never guess in a million years that I'd eat a whole hamburger! Bottom line is that it will change the dynamic of the friendship. Many people don't know what to do or say, so they will distance themselves a bit. My advice is, instead of going to this coworker for help, you need to visit your therapist or find one if you don't have one. Yourself and your doctors are the only ones that can help you recover.
It is just as wrong to make fun of someone eating healthy foods, as it is to make fun of someone eating unhealthy foods.But I have seen situations in my office where the healthy eater makes a big show of what they are eating and how good it is for them. That almost always gets a negative response from others who are not eating healthy, as well as healthy eaters who don’t flaunt their diet.My suggestion, if this is happening to you repeatedly, is to look honestly and see if you are flaunting your healthy eating. Why point it out and give the haters some ammunition against you?I suspect if you stop talking about your eating, the taunting may subside.
How do you stay focused on losing weight when coworkers try and sabotage your?
How do you stay strong and focused when you are trying to be the best you can be I mean fitness wise Earlier this year I was doing so well with my fitness goals eating right exercising everyday but it seems like when I’m doing well my coworkers try and sabotage me I try not to eat after six so I will eat my last meal around 5:30 but then my coworkers will all go at the same time when I go When I try and eat healthy coworkers come and offer me candy And I’m not announcing it that I am on a diet I remember losing 30 pounds and one my managers commented on my weight loss coworker and I was walking out and she makes a nasty comment and says “oh she just wearing dark clothes so it makes her look smaller “ Then she starts inviting me out to eat soul food the next day and I honestly got off track since then
How to stop coworkers from interrupting my lunch?
I bought an amazing, warm Brazilian coconut bread to have for lunch today. But a couple bites into it, I was interrupted by a manager asking me to look at some bank reports. By the time he finally left my desk, my coconut bread was cold and dried out :( it made me sad. I eat lunch later than most people, around 2:30 pm, and we don’t have a break room so I have to eat at my desk. Any advice on how to get coworkers and superiors to stop interrupting my lunch would be greatly appreciated. Ps: would it have been rude to say, “can we address this after I finish eating my amazing, warm Brazilian coconut bread?”
Need advice about dealing with my co workers (meat-eaters)!?
These people act the way they do is because they have become completely insensitive towards cruelty. It is like listening to a particular song which is sung in a strange language with unpleasing notes. these people are unable to make a connection like you do. Plus there are stupid logical reasons that people have that prevent them from taking the first step towards it, like medical science (which to me is stupid). I am a vegetarian and i don't people eating meat around me, although i would certainly react strongly if someone slaughters an animal in front of me. if you are keeping good principles, it should change you and make you stronger and that change should reflect on your system. people say a lot of things, but what matters is not just how they say it but mostly what they are from inside. I love people; i follow the principle of love. but when i see people like Gandhi and Mother Teresa, i feel bored off. These guys said some good stuff and people respect them all around the world. But to me, being what you are is more important that being what you do. I am also against tolerance. But if i am weak, the unpleasant experience should not be able to make any impression on me: positive or negative. so in a way, i am strong. Bottom line: Be strong; don't let anything like this affect you. Never have a single negative thought.
Well honestly I have NOT had that issue, thank God.But I have had friends who worked with bullies.One of my friends went to Human Resources and told them.Another one of my friends kept a journal date & time about the incident. Then went to HR.Get this the bully denied, denied, & denied!But the bully did leave the person alone.Guess what? It happened again to another person who went straight to HR.From what I understand, one bully was a vicious woman who was jealous of certain people.Good thing this bully was FIRED!!!!
Why would it be messed up? You get along with them at work and know their work ethic, so it stands to reason that you can get along with them in your own business. I'd make sure the skill sets between you and your co-workers are different though. I assume you don't want three sales people if you need to build a product, market it, and sell it. On the other hand, if all you're doing is selling, then those three sales ppl are perfect.The only other word of caution I'll provide: what's their demeanor like under stress? Startups are a stress roller coaster, so you want to make sure your co-workers aren't going to buckle under pressure and leave you high and dry.Good luck!
I don’t get into that kind of situation with work colleagues or even with friends. They don’t either.When the bill arrives, we take turns looking at the bill and we place on the table the $ amount we each owe according to what we had, plus 15% for the tip.Once everyone has done so, we count the money on the table to make sure the final sum coincides with the total on the bill. If it’s less, we each add what’s necessary. I don’t recall this ever happening, though. Usually it’s more, because some people don’t have small change, so they leave a bigger tip.Nowadays we all pay by credit card, so when the waitress comes with the bill, we take turns informing her how much to deduct from our own credit card. Then we place 15% on the table, in cash (waitresses don’t receive the tips from the owners if the tips are put inside the credit card).If someone doesn’t have small change for the tip, another one gives the tip for him. It is expected that next time they’ll give the tip for you or that, once back in the office, they’ll come to your office with the exact amount of the tip. I imagine if someone never had small change for the tip and never paid it back, there’d be some friction and distancing from them.When we go out with a good friend who insists on treating us (such as because we’re jobless at the time), it is customary that we leave the tip.In your case, I’d just stop going for lunch with this colleague, because once you’ve gotten a user accustomed to you giving them things, they’ll make it very ugly for you if you stop, however tactfully you stop giving.Since you don’t want someone sabotaging / badmouthing you at work, plus this is a nasty user you don’t want in your life: if you two always went to lunch together, your best option is to start bringing lunch from home for a few months (with a very good excuse - health or finances related), then when enough time has passed, you can start going to lunch with someone else. And of course make sure not to establish the same unhealthy pattern with the new person!. As to the user, keep managing the relationship with very good excuses.