My Friend Really Hurt Me But Its Hard For Me To Not Forgive Her

How do you truly forgive a friend who hurt you so much?

There is no iron clad rule that says you must forgive them if your heart isn’t in it. Sometimes what other people do to others is so grievous and hurtful that it is not possible to totally forgive. But most of the time forgiveness is possible if the person truly wishes to do so.The first thing most people look towards is the reason or motivation behind what the person did to cause you harm or pain. If the person did something by accident or did not intend for the outcome to be what it actually was, then it is usually fairly easy to forgive once you are aware of what really happened. If the act was deliberate with w desired outcome that indeed happened, that might be different.I would suggest talking to the individual and getting down to what really happened and why they did what they did. See if you can determine whether their remorse is genuine or if they are just sad that they were caught. That can be a major factor in how you approach forgiveness.Another thing to consider is the history of this person. Have they done the same thing before to you or other people? If so, then their remorse is likely not genuine and you might decide that this is someone you no longer want in your life. Like they often say, past behavior is a pretty good indicator of future behavior. In other words, some people do change but you should not count on it. Make them prove it to you over the long run.One last thing. Sometimes people can do things to hurt you that cause little or no damage. Then at other times people can do great harm to others by their actions. If you have been subjected to extreme physical or emotional abuse at the hands of someone think long and hard about opening up yourself to that in the future. If you do decide to forgive that person make sure to protect yourself moving forward just in case. You owe it to yourself and loved ones to keep yourself out of danger moving forward.David PetersThe Customer Service Training Institute

If someone says 'I forgive, but I don't forget', do they really forgive? How do they show it or is it just lies?

Forgiving is extremely empowering and a huge relief it allows you to get back on with your life, if you don't forgive you end up being resentful for a long time. The never forget bit is important too. Forgiveness comes down to 2 different values Mercy and grace. Exercising either of them requires you not to forget the transgression (and nearly all humans will have a very hard time forgetting a betrayal anyway).Mercy would be offering forgiveness when someone asks for it and has repented, it doesn't require you do anything more than this , forgiving doesn't mean regression back to the former state of things it is simply holding no ill will towards the offender. You can forgive and ostracize someone (this is not a punishment this is indifference you just remove yourself from their company), and that is a valid response dependant on the value of the relationship and the number of transgressions.Grace is far harder. Grace is taking the unrepentant offender forgiving him regardless and finding it within yourself to help them, not regress things back to the former state of the relationship because that would be positively reinforcing a bad behaviour, but take them and yourself on a different path of understanding each other help them understand their evil and show them a way to act more virtuous by example.In both cases the relationship what ever it was will never be the same as it was, it could grow stranger or desolve altogether, but it should not be forgotten, because you have to learn from it to avoid the same mistake in the future, notice someone likely to do the same or learn not to push someone to some kind of behaviour. Usually this leads to more umderstanding and better communication skills.

Should you ever forgive a cheating boyfriend/girlfriend? If yes, why and under what circumstances?

What is wrong with you people? I hope that most of the people rooting for no are not wearing a christian cross hanging from their necks. We all make mistakes, and at the moment of doing so we dont understand fully the extent of our actions, otherwise we wouldnt make mistakes. Once we do, we change, never go back to that path, recover sight and stop being blinded by selfishness or impulsivity and make good, build great things and unify. You people have huge egos, have you never made a mistake and hurted other? We all have, maybe the lack of self observation you have makes it hard to acknowledge it. We all fail, get up, and learn, thats life. CHEATING HAS 0 TO DO WITH LOVE!!!! the person doing it is not thinking, its just like someone grabbing the car a little tipsy, is he really thinking that he can hit a kid and kill him? No. He is not thinking. Most people who cheat would rather die than loosing their loved one. Its a mistake. We all make mistakes. We all reivindicate. We all do good. If the person regrets what hes done and understands the fully extent of his mistake, why not forgive??? Who are you not to? Things dont get thrown away, they get fixed. No more division, unification and a prosper future full of love. Thats what matters.This coming from a psychologist of couples, have had couples with crisis and same problems,and it seems like cheating is worst than insulting your partner, these moral codes are crazy.Conclusion: yes. You forgive. Because you are nobody not to. We all make mistakes, learn and do better everyday. Unify as brothers and be happy that the issue is resolved and you made it. Loyalty comes in so many other ways every single day in the way the other person treats you with love, unconditional warmth and companion.