My girlfriend wants to give my child up for adoption and I dont?
She basically doesn't wanna keep the baby and I do. We both planned it now all of a sudden she doesn't want it. She keeps saying she wishes she should of got an abortion when she had the chance out of anger because now since she can't get an abortion now I have a right to say if I don't wanna give the baby up. She doesn't want me to have custody of the child because she thinks I'll go around and make her look bad. She's been bringing it up everyday now for the past 6 days. What should I do? By the way she doesn't use this account anymore and this is her boyfriend.
My girlfriend wants to adopt and not bear children. I asked her to have one and adopt one. She says she cant.?
Dj, I could not understand exactly your point. She can't have because of some physical problem, or because she does not feel like having one child of her own? If it is the first case, there are many treatments you can take to make the wish comes true. There are no guarantees and they are expensive, however, if you think it worth it, you can give a shot. If it is the second case, then you guys need to talk. Both have different positions about an extremely important question for a couple. Avoid discuss this issue now it will not make the trouble disappear. There is no doubt that this matter certainly is going to cause problems on the future. There is no an ease way to solve this puzzle: One of you needs to give up from your desire. Some women do not want to have her babies because of the body changes with pregnancy. Others, because believe the world have too many kids already and they do not think it is necessary put more on this planet, if there are many out there that needs and wants parents. On this case, the women choose give her love as mom to the ones that life have started in a harsh way. These women think that raise an adopted child and a natural one at the same time it is risky. Do you know the reason? It is simple: They are afraid to treat the kids in a different manner. You know what? Most of the time, they are right, because with no intentions or even without realize, they do not treat the little ones on the same way. It is difficult to know how you will react until this actually happen, and they prefer not expose the adopted child to this hypothetical situation, since the life was already too severe with this kid. Of course, there are moms that do not act differently with the children, but the opposite also exists. First you need to know the reason your girlfriend have her point of view. After that, you can find the solution together and decide how you this relationship it is going to be. Good luck my friend. Peace and love 2 u!
My girlfriend is pregnant. She wants an abortion, but I don't. How can I convince her not to go through with it?
You don't. She said she wants an abortion. Women don't just come to that conclusion on a whim. They think it through. They think about how it would change their lives, their career, their relationships, everything. Not everyone is ready for that kind of 18 year commitment. Maybe she wants to travel to Europe. Or Latin America. Maybe she wants to go out to dinner and movies every week without a baby sitter. Maybe she isn't sure you're the one she wants to be with forever. Maybe she just isn't ready to give up her life and freedom to have someone else be the entire center of her life. And that's her right. You're assuming anything you have to say has been something she hasn't already thought about or considered. Don't make her feel guilty about her decision. It will only result in misery if she feels forced to change her mind. Regret and eventual break up.Also look at it from her perspective. 9 months of missed work, sickness, pain, and misery. Afterwards, a very different body and a huge responsibility. She can't just sleep in on days off. She can't just decide to go out to dinner or our for drinks. Her life is forever changed.Instead, be understanding and ask her why she isn't ready. Educate yourself by reading blogs or answers written on Quora about people who regret having children or people who tell you just how time consuming it is. And then accept how she feels and support her.
Convincing girlfriend to give our baby up for adoption?
You don't and if you didn't want her her to be a mother in the first place you shouldn't have had sex with her. What you want to do is coercive regardless of whether you believe she will be a bad mother. You are also heartless to want your own flesh and blood be adopted instead of being a father. If you really cared about the welfare of this child you would fight for custody as adoption doesn't guarantee a better life. If this mother is such a bad person as you claim she is your child would be removed from her and you would be given a chance to prove that you could be a good dad. Basically there is nothing you can do. If her sister is willing to help then good on her for caring and if the mother proves to be such a terrible then the child will be removed. Grow a pair and be a real man and dad.
Why did you give your child up for adoption?
When I was young teenagers didn't have sex until we were married. Coming from a southern religion it was looked down on. I was seeing a man 8 years older than me. He was a 3rd year law student. Being from an extremely poor background all I could see was a better future. He got mad at me for going out with someone else and decided on revenge by forcing sex on me. I got pregnant and he tried to say it wasn't his and he would not help support the baby. Back then abortion was back room coat hanger surgery and I couldn't morally have an abortion anyway. I wasn't savvy in legal stuff or I would have known he would legally be responsible. My greatest fear was my father finding out and blaming my mother for my mistake. I wanted my child to have a better life than I could provide. Though I tried to keep my pregnancy secret I confided in my sister but she betrayed me and told my family had one brother disown me and felt like had a scarlet letter on my forehead. I never regretted giving him a good life. I.knew one day we would meet again. Birthdays were the worst but I got to celebrate his 23rd birthday with him.
Wife wants to give baby up for adoption?
I usually agree with Philippa, Char, and Baby Boomer, but not this time. I've never been raped but I know a little about the trauma it can cause -- lifelong trauma. To have a daily reminder of that brutal act would be too much for me to deal with. I am assuming your wife wasn't able to have an abortion as she found out she was pregnant too late to do anything about it, but maybe she chose not to abort because of personal beliefs. Either way, that's of no consequence because it's too late now anyway. I don't think you're a bad guy for knowing you couldn't love this child. I can't blame you at all for that. Unfortunately, yes, the rapist may have rights to the child (depending on the state in which you live). However, if he wants to raise the child and you and your wife don't, that is an option. Your wife can terminate her parental rights freely and let the rapist have the child. He will have to prove it's his child and since there's a statute of limitations on rape (5 years in most states), he could be tried and convicted if your wife presses charges. In that case, the child would be available for adoption by someone else. Your wife doesn't have to remain a part of this child's life. She can terminate her parental rights and never see the baby after it has been born. If I may give a piece of advice though: it would be nice if your wife wrote down a complete medical history of herself and her immediate family so that the child will at least have that in the future. I know that you feel as if neither of you can love this baby, but you don't have to love it to be kind. Providing a medical history is a kind thing to do, especially if there is a history of heart disease, cancer, or some other disease that the child should be aware of in the future. It's not the baby's fault it was conceived; it was just a horrible, tragic act by an awful person that made it happen. A few pictures of herself and a letter to the baby (for when it grows up) would be helpful, also. Many adopted people grow up wondering who they look like -- do they share facial features with their mother, for example. A letter explaining why she felt that she couldn't raise the child herself will answer questions the child has down the road. Best wishes for you.
Is it wrong to give my child up for adoption? I'm a teen mother, but the child wasn't planned. I was raped 2 years ago. My family said I'd be shunned if I aborted my child, and they refuse to support me since I came out about the rape.
I’m so sorry this has happened to you. You are not wrong to want what is best for your child. An open adoption might be a good option for you. I was put up for adoption at birth, and it was honestly the best thing that ever happened to me. Your daughter’s age (which I assume is around 15 months) is going to complicate matters, but I have to assume adoption is still very possible. If you Google “adoption agency” and your city/state, you should see a ton of options pop up. I’m sure any one of them would be happy to talk to you and offer you advice.Question: Will your family be supportive of you if you decide to go this route? And if not, will that matter to you? I admire you for wanting to do what is best for your child, but don’t forget to take care of YOURSELF, too. There are ramifications to this situation that are going to be pretty far-reaching. Again, reaching out to the adoption agencies in your area might be a good place to start. Best of luck to you, and bless you for wanting what is best for your child. I hope life holds amazing things in store for you.
How do I convince my girl to give our baby up for adoption?
Im not about to bash you or criticize you,.. i knoe where yuh coming from about the whole not having a father thing b/c my boyfriend WAS scared to become a father since his dad left him Wen he was still in his mama belly.. He wanted me to put our son up for adoption or get an abortion, but i kept the baby and refused to have it any other way. It may sound selfish but, she wanted to be a mom so let her you can't make her or talk her into anything she seems to have her mind set. Don't leave her b/c yuh don't want a baby b/c of the mistakes yur dad made to yuh.. I sat down and talked with my boyfriend about keeping our son and told him he can be a better fatherby not following in his bum a*s daddy footsteps.. I mean yeah babys are hard but just tthink yur first baby giving to someone else, yuhll regret it.. It may be a selfish decision but some women refuse to do as their man tells them b/c they know theyre capable.. My man loves our son already! And ive got 3more months to go until i drop.. A baby will change yuh forever have yuh sayin and doing things yuh never thought before, its really a beautiful thing.. Guys like yuh w/o father figures are the best dads b/c yuh know what a child will need as a father b/c that's what yuh lacked.. Just stay with her support her and keep the baby. Im positive you'll be a better dad then you think.. If yuh and her Sont work out at least be there for the baby.. P.s. I never wanted to be a mom and he didn't wanna be a father! but were doing it im sure were alot younger then you.
I’m pregnant and want to give the baby up for adoption, but the unstable ex (father) insists he won't allow it. I can't afford this and I don't want this (he has been supporting me financially). What are my rights?
You have the right to put the baby up for adoption or have an abortion (assuming you are in the United States). If you put the baby up for adoption, he has the right to take custody of the child and demand you pay Child Support to him. The support is determined by the laws of your state, and typically are based on a percentage of your income. You can make it more difficult for the father to take custody by naming someone else as the father or not naming a father at all. He would then be required to get a test to show he is the father. This may be illegal and could open you up for lawsuit or jail. If you decide to have an abortion, the father can not do anything about it. That is your choice alone.As is always the case, the laws are state laws and vary from state to state, without knowing where you are, it is impossible to give a 100% correct answer. Either way, you should talk to a lawyer and get the best advice possible for your location. The best advice is often advice you pay for. Medical, legal, psychological or tax advice SHOULD be paid for. There is too much at risk to leave it to free web sites.