My husband won't visit my family?
Ok, I know in-laws aren't always a blessing, but I believe my family is a fairly good as in-laws. My parents and sisters love my husband, my mom is even nicer to my husband than she is to me! My husband's family is also very nice to me and they have always been very welcoming with me. This is the reason why I don't understand why my husband is always avoiding my family! Yesterday was father's day and he gave me the lamest excuse in the world for not attending my dad's celebration (his father lives 3 hours away) He said he was too tired and he wanted to get some rest! We did not get out of bed during the entire weekend except for Sunday afternoon when I went to my parents house. I thought that was straight out ridiculous. Later that day he texted me saying that he was not going to my dad's party because his mom was arriving at 5 p.m. and he wanted to see her. ( he previously said he was tired) Later that day I found out through my father-in-law when I called him to wish him a happy father's day that my mother-in-law was staying not at our house but at my sister-in-law's place. My husband did not even go to his sister's house to see his mother. He always makes up excuses to avoid visiting my parents' house and ALWAYS expects me to attend all of his family gatherings. I love my in-laws and hate putting them in between all this, but next fourth of July I'm going to have to pass on making a trip to his parent's house. Am I wrong?
What should I do if my husband abuses my family every now and then?
What should I do if my husband abuses my family every now and then?Run...Run as fast as you can..now, what type of abuse are we talking about? Verbal, Physical, Emotional, Mental? and who is he abusing in the family? First, you might need to try and talk to him about and suggest counseling. if that does not work, then perhaps to save your family, leave. Especially if there are children involved. Is his abuse due to any type of substance abuse such as drugs or alcohol? What are the contributing factors for him abusing your family? Lots of questions that need to be answered first before action can be taken, however again..If he is physically abusing you or anyone of your children, for the sake and protection of your children as well as yourself, get out and get him some help.
My husband never wants to come with me to family gatherings. How can I successfully talk him into it?
Honey I love you so much and I can’t imagine anyone else I’d rather be with. And you know I’m here for you and I have your back always. However I feel a little neglected and unloved when I’m forced to go to family gatherings without you as you are my partner in my life mate and I love having you by my side. If you could join me I’d be ever so happy as again I love you and you’re my man. Is there a reason you don’t want to go because we can talk about it?If that doesn’t work, and he has no good reason, then you start cutting him out of every part of your life such as social activities, the gym, exercising, dinner everything just cut him out and start going out with other people or alone. If he doesn’t give a shit, file for divorce and move on as he is obviously over the marriage. If he DOES give a shit then you simply say look, we are a team for better or for worse and if I’m there for you then I expect you to be there for me but if you won’t be, then you don’t get to pick and choose the stuff that we do together as again we’re a team and we do stuff for each other because we love each other. If you love me then show me because I feel unloved when I have to go to those gatherings alone and I’m absolutely sick of it. Sometimes men get lazy and you have to kick them in the ass and remind them of what they have. Don’t be afraid to get a little bit independent and start focusing on yourself and pulling away because if he loves you that will scare him into action. Like I said, if it doesn’t scare him into action then you’ve got your answer and you need to end the marriage If he doesn’t make you happy and you’re not happy.
I have cheated on my husband and destroyed my family. is there ANY way to make things right?
I went out with friends after work and when they all left, I bumped into this guy i knew in college. I don't know how I could be so foolish, but 30 min later I am in a hotel room with him and we're having unprotected s*x..(sorry for the details) When I didn't come home my husband called a couple of friends. When he found my car outside the restaurant he filed a missing persons report. The police then went looking for me and eventually found me in the hotel room the next morning. My husband and kids came to the hotel because they thought someone had kidnapped me. When he saw me he hugged me and was crying because he was so worried. When he found out what had really happened, he turned white, and then threw up ad fainted. It's been a week now. EVERYONE knows what happened. I am so ashamed of myself I don't even want to open my eyes. I can't look at anyone. My 19 year old son looked straight at me and called me a worthless f u ck ing wh or e and my daughter threatened suicide. My husband has barely said anything to me. In a way I feel that this is his fault for being so emotionally un available, but I of course don't blame him even partially. I have NEVER done anything like this and I have no idea what made me do it. I have been a 100% flawless perfect & trophy wife to him right up until that day. I have no excuses. I have no reason to believe he will ever forgive me. I am scared and feel like a complete piece of garbage. I am totally ashamed of myself. There is no name you could call me that I wouldn't agree with. I know what I have done. Is there ANYTHING I can do other than be perfect forever and hope my husband forgives me? I don't think he will. And I don't blame him but i think he is partially to blame.
If I don't like my husbands family, is it okay to avoid going to his family events?
You are your own person - being married to someone doesn’t change that. The idea that “when you married someone you married their family, too,” is nonsense. You and your spouse have an obligation to support each other. Your discomfort requires support in one way or another. Not all people see their family as an unquestioningly positive thing in their lives. I am someone who finds his family to be a problem.My parents are extremely difficult to be around. Even though they are friendly, they are awkward and don’t behave in ways which make my spouse comfortable. I can understand that. My parents had also been abusive to me as a child, but I got professional help, knowing that they were very backward and psychologically unhealthy. That doesn’t transform them into pleasurable company. My wife is constantly reminded of that abuse by how they talk and react in casual conversation. My father is quite a racist, something many people in America have to endure. This is a deal-breaker for many people. My spouse found that factor alone to be a serious reason to avoid their company. Once we had children I wanted to keep them as far from them as possible.There are millions of reasons why someone might feel the need to avoid their spouse’s family; not all of those reasons are unkind or mean-spirited. As long as a couple can talk, they can come to an accommodation. If I have to tell my family that my wife and children won’t be coming to visit whenever I do, I will shoulder that and my family will simply have to deal with it. Or not.My parents found it hard to hear that their company and their tone-deaf social skills are a difficult ordeal for some people, but not telling them does them no favors. It makes things a bit weird for me and my parents, but that is better than forcing my new family to contend with the toxic, insecure and stress-provoking situation of the family I grew up with.
My husband threatened me that he will kill me and my family. What should I do?
1- report this to police. Register your complaint and get a copy of it.2 - Once you register the complaint, your husband or other relatives may pressurise you to withdraw it. Never do it.3 - Your husband will stop you giving money. Do you have any other source. Are you employed and if not you will need financial support of your relatives to carry on.4 - Think of the ways you can earn money. Can you look for a job? What are your skill set.???5 - In case your husband repents and wants to arrive at a compromise are you willing?6 - Seek counselling. What about children? Your counsellor will help you to face the trauma.7 - Do your parents know about the threat? Keep them informed. Seek support of other relatives / friends etc.8 - Have you invested jointly with your husband in any property / house if so do you have records / documents? Be emotionally prepared to face any development. Take informed decision.
How do I deal with a husband who disrespects my family?
Me and my mother had faced similar experiences. So I would like to share my opinion. I will not advice you to 'talk' to him, because its common sense that you have tried all the methods (and apparently failed) before you decided to post a personal issue on this platform. Besides i believe that your husband isn't dumb to not know and understand that his behaviour towards your family hurts you. Yet he continues to do that. Obviously he doesn't seem to care. Me and my mother faced similar issues. We chose to cut all contacts with our family. My mother didn't exchange even a single letter or phone calls with her family for more than six years because she was fed up of the constant comments my grandmother made about her family. I too do the same thing. My husband doesn't misbehave with my family but has anger issues and sometimes tends to lose his temper. I cut all contacts between him and my family and told him he would have to learn to behave if he wanted to maintain the relationship. If ever I wanted to visit my family I went alone. When I was living in a different city and I needed someone to a accompany me I skipped important family functions. I preffered to sacrifice some of my happiness rather than make my family suffer. We have to endure the issues we have with our husbands because sometimes we are left with no choice but its our duty to spare our families from insults and misbehaviour. Do they have to pay a price for loving their daughter? I don't believe that my family is obliged to suffer because they belong to the girls side.
I dont get along with my husband's family, they ignore me all the time.. what should I do?
First of all your hubby needs to be supportive and understanding of your feelings. Talk to him and explain how it makes you feel. Try talking to the women individually. If that doesn't help you may have no alternative then to ignore them back. We can't make people like us or want to socialize with us. It's a painful situation. My MIL has welcomed all 3 of my BIL's wives and numerous GF's and fiance's with open arms while trying to run me off. It's hard not to take it personal. I would just be polite, speak if they speak and ignore if they ignore. It's not easy and hurts but sometimes that's as good as it gets. I tried not to put hubby in the middle but I did make it clear if he is present when someone is mistreating me I expect him to stand up for me since I'd never let my family treat him so rudely. Best of luck! EDIT: I should mention I have told hubby I am NOT doing holidays with any of his fam except his dad. The others do not like me or even try to fake being polite so I don't bother anymore.