My boyfriend is married but wants to divorce and marry me, what should I do?
I've been through this twice. First time I fell in love with a married man he told me he was separated....actually she had just taken the kids away for the summer...she returned, I ended the relationship, but then they did actually separate and we resumed our affair, several years later we married. And lived happily after? Well.... no, 6 years later I learned he was having an affair, totally destroyed me. We divorced but we continued to see each other and be intimate (I know I was stupid) when he was in town on business until I found out he was actually now married to wife #3, the woman he'd cheated on me with! So yes he cheated on wife #1 and #3 with me (and probably others) and he cheated on me. Scenario #2 I met a man we became friends, then more, he was separated ...off and on... so we were together off and on.... this went on for about 3 years. Then 1 day I was at his apt and his estranged wife showed up and she was an emotional mess and I was faced with the pain I was contributing to for this woman. I quickly left but that's when I realized what a horrible person I was, I had been in her shoes, the betrayed wife, and I had no business being with her husband even if they were separated. I told him to figure out what he wanted and not to contact me unless he was truly free. About 8 months later he contacted me to tell me that he and his wife had reconcilled and in the course of their marriage counseling he had revealed my full name to her and he was calling to warn me that she might do something erratic... I never heard from her thankfully, but even now, nearly 20 years later, if I'm in their part of town I worry about running into her, I still feel the shame, which is also why I write this anonymously.So my advice would be to walk away as quickly as possible.
Children of divorce - tell me how to help my kids?
I have a 4 yr old son & an 8 month old daughter. My husband left us when our daughter was 6 months old. We are in counseling to see if we can save the marriage, but I am expecting the worst. I am worried about the effects of divorce on my kids. I feel my daughter will grow up knowing that her father resented her birth (his admission) - though I will never ever tell her that. I'm sure she'll figure it out herself. I don't know how the custody will be worked out, but right now, he doesn't want to take her at all because she's "too much trouble" with the diapers, baby bottles, baby food, etc. after he dropped off our son last night, he played with her a little & said, "Do you think she knows me?" I said no. Anyway, I know divorce is common & I'm so sad that I might be divorced. But I truly care about the emotional state of my kids as they grow up. Tell me, those of you who are from divorced families, how can I raise my kids so they will grow up emotionally stable?
Thoughts on marrying someone who has been divorced before?
what does he say about his last marriage? if everything is his ex's fault then he's not a good marriage risk. if he learned something from his marriage & he owns his part in the divorce then he's a good risk for marriage. now here's the next important thing: how does he parent? is he fun time dad or is he a real parent? don't marry fun time dad, your marriage will end in divorce. (don't have kids w/ fun time dad either) if he behaves like a real parent then you have a better chance of the relationship lasting. how do you get along w/ his kids? if you don't get along w/ them then don't marry him because your marriage will end in divorce. if you get along w/ his kids then you stand a chance.