Am I Being Selfish...?
I have two kids, 12 and 17. My boyfriend has a place of his own but stays with me every night, clothes are there, vehicle is there, etc. He doesn't have any kids but has a nephew, 9, who he treats like his kid. This kid is spoiled rotten being the only child of his parents, only grandchild of my boyfriend's parents, etc. My boyfriend insists on including him in everything we do and it bothers me. My b/f is very indifferent to my kids and treats the nephew like he hung the moon when they are together. My kids notice this treatment. I know that my b/f is going to insist on me putting up a Christmas stocking for the nephew along with his, mine, and my kids stockings. I feel like I'm gearing up emotionally for a huge fight. Should I just put up the stocking and avoid the fight? It will hurt my kids feelings if I do, and my b/f's feelings if I don't. Just a note...this kid gets, has, does everything...my kids aren't as fortunate because I'm divorced and barely make ends meet. Help!!
Can a mother be selfish?
First of all , I felt very much to answer this question. I can't understand how a Mother can be selfish ?. Mother sacrifices all her ambitions , give birth to her children , giving timely food, give education, teach moral behaviours to them. In this current universe, bringing up children with good manners and curing their diseases will be a hericulian task. We cannot compare mother's sacrifices to anything in the globe. Mother is ranked as Goddess of every family. She is running her family with more devotion and care , facing all types of hurdles courageously without anyone's praise or defame. God cannot present in all places at a time and as such he created MOTHER instead. Without mother, there is no creation at all. In western countries , they can't realise the importance of mother due to their custom and habits .In certain countries , we heard this type of conversation between Father and mother . They used to say my children, and your children are playing with our own children !!?. Mother is having a unique place and no one can replace her status. My intention is not to hurt anyone's feelings:-)
How can I deal with my selfish mother?
Mine was too busy to be bothered with parenting. Especially as I got older. Boyfriends & friends, were more of a priority.I stayed busy with extracurricular activities and friends. It was just the 2 of us so the house was often silent. Just me. I was at my friends or boyfriends more than I was home.As an adult. Addressing this with her has not been a positive experience. She makes a lot of excuses. Usually she just can’t remember the neglectful/painful/unpleasant environment she created. She apologizes for my recollection but since she “doesn’t remember” it’s not validated and there’s no closure.I had to learn to accept the fact that I can’t change the past. I need to love & accept her how she is (and perhaps from a distance) truth is she’s an imperfect human just like me, she did the best she could with the limited knowledge she had. Could she have done better? Definitely but she could have done a hell of a lot worse too.Eventually, I understood she was unable to give me the closure I needed. I can’t change the past. I don’t want to keep holding on to it either so i forgave her. I let it go.As of today I communicate with her every once in awhile. It would be more often but she’s become hypocritical and everything we discuss she repeats to her friends (just like she has my entire life) except in her version she’s the attentive, loving, mother doing everything in her power to help her daughter who desperately needs her sage advice and guidance. Coughbullshitcough.I wish things were different but I understand & accept the way things are and continue to keep learning & growing.
Am I selfish for not giving my mother money?
I recently won a 25,000 settlement. I have been out of work for over a year because of an injury and my boyfriend has taken complete care of our daughter and me. He is even trying to buy a house for us all so our daughter can be somewhere permnated. I want to use the money to carry me until I can find a job with in my working limitations. However my mother wants me to give her 2400. After lawyer fees I will be getting only $19,000. I also have student loans and some debuts I have acquired since I been out of work that I want to pay off. My mother tells me I am being selfish and will not get any blessings if I don t give her 2400. I just want to make sure I m never in the situation I am in now since I have a daughter. Am I selfish for wanted to pay off my debuts and save the rest until I can find work?
Why is my mother so selfish and uncaring?
As far as releasing anger, do you have any hobbies? Sports or art or cooking? Having a hobby helps you de-stress. So does exercise. Look into working out as it releases endorphins--your body's natural painkillers. It doesn't sound like your mom is going to change, which really sucks. Can you talk to another family member about how you feel? If your mom's not going to change, then you need to find a new support system. What about your grandparents? Is there any way you can see a therapist? A therapist would be a great help in this situation--they can offer support and an objective point of view. If she's not going to change, then you have to change how you react to and interact with her. You're going to have to come to terms with the fact that she doesn't want to dump the douchebag. It'll be tough, but you can do it, and you 'll be better off for it if you do. If she's going to stay with him, then just be civil to her. Let her do her thing and you need to do your thing. Find things that bring you joy, that make you happy. Concentrate on those things. Hang out with friends. Spend time with other family members if you're close with them. Get yourself a journal. That's another good way to let anger out. Writing stuff down and getting it out of your head is a good way to get your feelings out. Couple that with working out and having a hobby or two will help greatly. I'm really sorry you have to deal with this. It sucks when moms don't do their friggin' jobs as moms.
How do I tell my separated wife that she is being a selfish mother (she's more concerned about time with her boyfriend than with her kids) without being mean?
What makes you think that? Time with your lover is important. There is a balance. Your job is to make sure you don’t make the same mistake. If the children are complaining then listen to them and counsel them. Talk to your ex alone and mention what the children said. Let her decide how to handle it. You are certainly not qualified to decide that.I have been the “boyfriend” trying to balance the family life and my relationship. The way I approached it is like this. We (my partner and I) are parents. Daytime is family time. We are available to our kids to do things. To be present. To talk, scold, play games, go out. It means it is no okay to put on an adult show and chase off the kids. It is not okay to go into our room for a quickie.At 8:30, I am off duty. What does that mean? It doesn’t mean toddler who had a nightmare can’t climb in our bed. It doesn’t mean a sick child gets ignored. It does mean the the bedtime ritual is over. If it takes an hour and a half to put you to bed we start at 7:00. Once you are old enough to take care of going to sleep, waking up and getting ready for school, then you can stay up later. It means that we as a couple are now allowed to play.Weekend fun? That is what you are for. We want to be a childless couple and have our “weekend”. The kids should be seeing you during that time. On our weekend we should wait until bedtime to play.