My parents are too controlling. I am 20 but they treat me like a child. I have serious rows with them. I still love them but how can I make them realize that I have grown up?
Its a hard question to answer without examples.SHORT ANSWERThe day you have truly become an adult will arrive when you realise that your parents treating you like a child no longer bothers you.LONG ANSWER.If you act like an adult, and you treat your parents like adults, eventually the relationship may become an adult one.  First point, if you are living with parents rent free, then they are well within their rights to demand (within reason) that you behave in ways that fit in with their lifestyle for the duration of your tenancy. If you want to be treated as an adult they don't owe you anything now that you're 20, you are their guest.   I suggest that its not reasonable to pick and choose when you are treated as a child purely based on your own preferences (i.e. accepting laundry service, dinners and a roof over head, but not giving any say on how you dress or spend your time).If you are financially independent, and live your own life, then its a different situation.If you have serious rows with your parents then either you are they are acting like children. Its more likely to be you acting like a child given the historic relationship. Your acting like a child is likely to reinforce their tendency to treat you like one. This can be a bit of a vicious circle.I suggest that next time they try to "control you", assuming that you don't want to do whatever it is that they are asking of you, simply politely but firmly explain that you will not do the thing that they want.   Don't make a deal out of it, and don't justify your position unless explicitly asked to do so by them in an adult manner. If you are asked to explain simply state you are doing as you see fit. If they say they don't like your choices acknowledge that you understand that, without changing your position. If they start shouting at you ask them why they are shouting. Don't shout back.
Help, I'm 20 and my parents are still extremely strict?
I'm 20 years old and still live with my parents. I work part time and am a full time student. I pay for my own car insurance, gas, anything that needs to be done to my car but my parents are helping me pay for my classes and books. I know, I'm 20, why not just move out right? I work a minimum wage job and there is no way I would be able to work enough to pay off rent + utilities AND my schooling. My parents still treat me as if I am 17. I still have a midnight curfew, I have to constantly text them where I am, I cannot go anywhere without asking for permission (even if it's just to the corner store), they get upset if I go out more than once during the weekend, my mom checks my credit card statements so she knows where I used it and how much I'm spending. The list goes on. I've talked to them countless times in a serious manner and they listen for a second then completely forget we ever had the sit down conversation. This is causing me to lie to them and sneak out, which I hate doing because I honestly want them to know where I am, but if I tell them they won't let me go! They threaten to take away my car and stop paying for my classes, etc. The thing is I don't even party, I don't drink (socially every now and then) or do drugs, I'm always home on time.. PLEASE, somebody, what can I do? (Beside the obvious of "just grow up and move out, stop whining") -Thank you for your help!
Will my 25 year old girlfriend's extremely controlling parents ever change?
My girlfriend of almost one year has extremely controlling parents. Her mother is the worst. I am just finding out about this now, shes been hiding it from me for almost a year, and im seriously concerned that things wont change. Here is some backstory so you understand the situation better. My girlfriend and I have been dating almost a year. Things between us are so picture perfect. Weve been next door neighbors and acquaintances since we were 9 years old. Were the same age and we were in all the same classes growing up. i had the worlds biggest crush on this girl almost my entire life. to me, she is the hot blonde girl who lives next door. I myself was always a fat kid till i lost all the weight last year, and asked her out. I lost my virginity to her at age 24. this is the girl i want to marry. but recently the fact that her parents are outrageously controlling has been brought to my attention. we both recently graduated college and were both still living at home. weve both started our careers but i live in a rich suburb of boston and rent is about 2k a month. so i save a lot of money living at home. anyway, she has been opening up to me about this situation with her parents, mainly her mother. her mother needs to know every single detail of her life. her mother has an opinion on EVERYTHING and will throw a raging hissy fit if my girlfriend does something her mother doesnt approve of. i wont let my girls mother control me, my relationship, or my future marriage. we have a few years before getting married and i demand that things change before i ask her to marry me. do you guys think its possible? if so what can i do to help my gf stand on her own two feet when shes terrified of her mother? i think this issue stems from the fact that my gf was adopted as an infant and is afraid of being disowned and alone. this is why she wants to make a family with me. but i keep telling her just cause u move out things wont change. this problem needs to be fixed at the root. thank you for any advice.
MOVING OUT AT 23. CONTROLLING PARENTS.?
I'm 23. I have a boyfriend that i have been dating for a few months. My parents wanted me to see him only 3 times a week. They get mad if I hang out with him every day. Saturdays are the only days that we have to spend the day together. My parents get mad because they say spending the whole day together is bad and tried to get me to spend only a few hours with him. my curvfew is 9pm, if im not home by 9 they start texing me to see where I'm at. My boyfrined and I want to travel to near by places but my parents get mad and wouldn't let me. Every time I asked it would lead to an argument. I tried multiple times to talk to them and explain to them how I felt about them being strict but nothing would ever change. So finally i decided to move with my boyfriend and now my whole family is mad at me and my sister says my mom is sad. I feel guilty for doing it but I thoght it was the right decision. Was is wrong of me to move out? Does this make me a bad daughter?
How can you break free from your controlling Asian parent?
I was in this situation. This is what I did:Move out of home despite my father’s disapproval and mother crying. Inside I was wracked with guilt but I pretended I wasn't.I limited visiting them to once a week and would respond to their phone calls with a text saying: ‘I'm studying, do you need anything?’. They were always just checking up on me so it eventually reduced them calling me.I stopped including them in my life in the sense that I stopped giving them information about what I was doing and who I was seeing. It really turned the tables and then they wanted to be part of my life in a different way.I took nothing from them. No money, no advice, nothing. I increasingly cut energetic ties.When I would visit them, I would come in good spirits, bring food and good vibes. If I got any shit from them I would leave straight away without engaging in it. Over time they just came to appreciate seeing me and now I appreciate seeing them too. We never fight.It did require lying, deception and a lot of willpower. I am now 33 and still get anxiety over my parents expectstions at times but I have a supportive partner who is always reminding me about my boundaries.I never became a doctor or famous cellist as my mum would have liked so she could brag about. But she told me recently she is so proud of me because I am a strong, confident, beautiful woman. This meant more than approval over grades or achievements.Parents, especially immigrants, struggle with cultural differences. We have to be the ones to break out of the mould and that can take a lot of courage. It is worth it though. They attempt to live their unlived dreams through us which is very dangerous to both parties.My final advice is choose one thing you want to create a boundary around with your parents and stick to it for one month. Deal with all the consequences, and them add another thing. And if your parents really want to abandon you because you don't do as they see, then set yourself free. Good luck!
My mom is trying to control my pregnancy? Please help, extremely stressed.?
Well I'm only 15 ( it was a complete accident) & I'm 10 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow is my second doctors appointment & the father is coming. Well at my first appointment my mom said Dan (the father) couldn't come back at first because they did medical questions (which i understood) but once we got into the exam room I said I wanted him & she said "no he can't come back" then we got a heartbeat & he came back for 30 seconds & then she kicked him out again. That's what happened the first time. My next appointment is tomorrow & i told her that he's gonna come back in the room tomorrow & she said "no he's gonna wait in the waiting room" & I asked why & she said because my dad never came back when she was pregnant with me or my brother. & then she goes "sorry he can't come back" & i said "sorry he is" & she started screaming at me saying "you're not gonna dictate this" & stuff like that & i just walked away & started crying. I don't even feel like I'm having a baby it feels like it's her kid. & i wanna show her that it's my mistake & that I wanna take responsibility. This is just an example she's also trying to control who comes back when i'm giving birth & the baby's religion. My dad just agrees with her but when he sees me cry about it he comforts me & says he'll talk to her but it never works. I know I shouldn't be worrying about this & that I have other things to worry about but she's not letting the dad be the dad. & when I talk to her about things she just screams at me, no matter how calm I am when I talk to her. I don't even have a say in anything & it's not her baby it's mine I just wish I could leave but I can't. I feel trapped, i don't know what to do I'm hopeless please help. thanks :(