Should parents reward their kids for getting good grades?
A lot of parents are against rewarding their children for anything. There is a strong opinion that this can kill the inner motivation and make a child superficial. That is why their child won't get anything for a good grade except for a parent's appreciation.It would be so right in the ideal world. But do you think this ideal world would have grades at all? As a matter of fact, it probably wouldn't even have parents' expectations - often too high for a child to match up to.In reality, the pressure is so high that appreciation can't always be expressed by words. It is hard for both parents and children. Parents are pressured by the society. Other parents always know a better way to raise a child. Their children are often more successful. One way or another, an average parent gets loads of advice how to ‘help' a child study better.Children, in turn, are supposed to get good grades, to be better than others, to get into the top-five, to enter a prestigious college and university, and so on. Don't forget that besides school they have a life of their own, which includes relations with family, friends and a various range of interests.Rewarding can be quite beneficial to lower this pressure. It shows how it works for adults. We work, we earn money, we buy what we want. From this point of view, rewarding prepares children for their future life and teaches them the basics of responsibility. Still, parents should take into consideration a couple of other things if they decide to reward their children for a good mark:the level of your child's performance. Maybe, making perfect writing works is not your child's strength. So, you can't promise a great present for an A-grade paper, knowing that your kid will never manage to do it.your child's ability to face a failure. If your kid can't cope with not getting something outstanding for a good result, never give him or her really cool presents for school achievements. Next time, the grade may be lower, and your child may take it even worse. Choose another occasion.Don't give money. Presents mean attention. Money means employment. If you don't want your relationship to get too material, choose another type of reward. Take a great trip together, for example.Bottom line, rewarding children with presents is an attempt to unite different types of achievements together. If it's done right, it is advantageous for both parents and children.
Parents that say 'Don't discipline bad behavior, reward good behavior' can you explain?
Hippie PC parenting. They reward bad behavior and good behavior so the kid keeps acting up becouse they get what they want no matter what Hippie PC parents are against spanking too. And anything that involves being a real parent.
What kind of God rewards bad behavior?
you are perfectly right i asked some questions like you about the life of the women in the Islam society ,and of course there were a lot of Muslims angry and jumping to the sky about that KIND OF GOD???i think not the Allah is the problem but the people who terrorize the world IN THE NAME OF ALLAH i don't know the right spelling but when they are killing other people they cry out loud ALLAH AKBAR =that like ''in the name of Allah they kill and to wash there brains there religious leaders promise them the virgins reward after they sacrifice them selves in the name of god and gees what worse is that they even believe that
Did your parents hit you when you were little...?
Some children remember spanking messages more than nurturing ones. They will remember and be most influenced by the 1 hit than the 100 hugs. Hitting just devalues a child. Children need to predict the outcome in order to behave good in the future. Parents should never spank because using fear and pain is the wrong way to go about it and it is the old fashioned, lazy way of parenting. Spanking is a form of violence that teaches children that inflicting fear and pain on others is a way to control their behavior. Parents who spank are out of control and are not disciplined parents. It just teaches children how to hit, how to be sneaky, how to fear, how to be ashamed and how to take anger out on others. All degrees of spanking- light, moderate, occasional, rarely, always- give children the wrong kind of attention. You want your child to follow rules because they are right and good, not to avoid punishment because they are scared and become sneaky. When parents spank, they stop their children at the lowest level of moral development. So all the idiots that recommend to spank are eroding their childs ability to be empathetic. When you react with anger to childrens' behavior, we teach them to act without considering another persons' feelings-another consequence we need to avoid. Then when your child doesn't have empathy, it is impossible for them to learn to share, play well with others, avoid angry and violent actions, and take responsibility for their actions. I have children and am studying early childhood development in college. I am against spanking. Children of non-spanking parents tend to be easy to manage and well-behaved because these parents set clear standards for what is expected, provide lots of love and affection, explain things to the child, and recognize and reward good behavior. Non-spanking parents also pay more attention to their children’s behavior, both good and bad, than parents who spank do. Research shows that the higher the education the person has, the less likely they spank. You will see especially on this site that alot of people believe that spanking is the only alternative and that if you don't spank, your kids will turn out like hellions. It just takes some education, good common sense and respect for children to not resort to hitting them. That is what I think.
Parent teacher conference..&...discipline?
we went to parent/teacher/student conference tonight and with my 8 and 6 year old sitting there my sons teacher asked how i discipline him? resently we have been trying many forms of discipline with our children to see what works best... time out, loss of priviledges, rationalizing, reward systems and the occasional spanking when the crime fits the punishment. so when she asked me that i explained all of our methods. and she stopped me on rationalizing... and asked well who decides the consequences? i was shocked at first... of course the parents right? should he have a choice at 8 yrs old? i mean its his choice to behave the ways he does and i explain that to him, but should he get to pick his punishment when he chooses to misbehave?? then she went on to say... well no wonder why he looks at me like im crazy. because i let him choose. im lost please any feedback (serious) will be greatly appriciated. thanks!!!
Are children better motivated by rewards or punishment?
I've always been better motivated by the threat of punishment. If my parents told me that I'd get a reward if I did good in school, I might not. Nothing bad would happen if I just stayed lazy. But when they told me I'd get in trouble if I didn't get good grades, I had no choice because my back was against the wall.
What are some tips for parenting a 10-year-old boy who challenges everything, acts out in anger and doesn't respond to ignoring bad behaviour and rewarding good?
Just from the behavior it sounds like he feels unheard. He has to resort to outrageous behavior just to get someone to hear him. A guess is that his needs are very different from what his parents wish they were. He feels that what he wants gets ignored for what his parents want for him.That's just a guess. Without knowing the dynamics of the situation, it's hard to say. A useful idea to keep in mind is that children don't act out to annoy. Their actions are communication. Imperfect communication! But they're trying to let the world know a need is going unmet. What they're asking for is often some imperfect solution to meet their need. It isn't necessarily the need itself. The need may be buried a few layers deep.I would suggest The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Ross W. Greene. He's great as helping parents see from kids' points of view so parents can communicate better.Dr. Greene also has a YouTube channel. A playlist collects all 8 videos on Collaborative problem solving.