What to say to someone who has lost a child?
I will try to answer. We lost a 4 year old in Feb. 2007 and it is the worst thing that can ever happen to a parent. I have lived it and I hope that no other parent ever has to deal with it. There is nothing you can say that will make her parents feel better, that will take time and lots of it. I agree with the others that you should say something like "I'm sorry for your loss", it's what we all say when someone of any age dies. Offering to help is nice. If you know the family and they will welcome you into their home, go and just help out. Do something that needs to be done - wash dishes, feed the dog, take out the garbage or recycling. These are things that you really don't have to "offer" to do, just do them. Remember that the parents (the mother especially) will probably be very emotional. Do not touch or move anything that belonged to the child unless you are asked to. Someone tried to wash our daughter's laundry and I went off on them. They didn't realize that those clothes had her scent on them and they wouldn't have if they had been washed. I was trying to hang on to anything at all. Please don't ever say something like "I know how you feel" Unless you have lost a child, you will never fully know just how they feel (and I pray that you never have to find out). These parents will need help even a month or two months from now. Just be around to help. There will be days that they won't even want to or be able to get out of bed. They will need their friends and family then too. This doesn't just end with the funeral. I know this is all jumbled but I am trying to remember what helped and didn't help us. Don't worry about not being able to look at them without tearing up, they won't likely be able to do it either. It will be a very tearful time. Speak from your heart. Write a really nice card, even if it is all jumbled like this. Write down your favorite memories of their child, they will be able to keep it and remember with it later. My best wishes to you and to the family.
Neighbor's child died. Need help/suggestion?
Most likely, other family members will be around to field off visitors if the neighbors don't feel up to seeing anyone. I would take over some food. Even if the neighbors don't feel up to eating, they will most likely have guests coming around who will need to be fed, and the mom is definitely not going to feel like preparing food for them. I would also attend the funeral. Even if you don't know the neighbors very well, it is still nice to show that you respect them enough to show up for the funeral. Even if they are too lost in their grief at the moment, when they look back on it later, it will let them know that people cared enough about them to be there. If your finances permit, flowers are a nice idea, or if the family prefers, a donation to a charity is also good. Personally, I would not directly mention the child's name yet. That would be so terribly painful if it were my child.
What should you do if you see a lost child?
1) talk to a child to see if it's really lost. I can't count how many times people tried to 'save' my kids just because they thought that a kid must be lost if it's alone.2) Stay with it and wait to see if parents pop up. Probability that a kid is very far from its parents is rather small, so just telling the kid to calm down and waiting for a few minutes will often do the trick.3) figure out if you can get in contact with parents somehow. E.g. A kid might have a phone number of its mum with it. 4) if nothing else works, contact some authority, e.g a security in a shopping mall, or simply call 144 (911 in US) and let them lead you further.Do not take the kid away from the place where you found it, except if you have found it on a really dangerous place (middle of the street).
How do you emotionally recover from losing a child custody battle?
A2A.You just lost the "battle". You didn't lose anything else. Indeed I won't tag such an event as a "battle". I assume it was more a struggle over what would be better for the child. You are still entitled to visit the little one and spend time together. Cherish every moment when you are together. Improve yourself and be a better person when you are not and surprise him or her when you meet each time: read books, develop some hobby, help people, and meet someone. Indeed, you should celebrate such a nice opportunity to become an even better parent. I know it's easier said than done. But why not take a try? Good luck!
Lost in the system. HELP?
Get some help, this is not the place for it.
Worst possible emotional pain...?
I really hate trying to compare one person's pain to another person's. I don't remember the exact quote but Victor Frankl, who spent time in a Nazi concentration camp, wrote a book called "Man's Search for Meaning." In it, one of the things he says is that basically, all suffering is equal in the sense that we all have painful times in our lives and that our human experience of pain is what unites us. We all get a right to our own pain. I find it amazing that someone who went through something that would obviously be so awful would be able to come out of it saying something so profound. If I were pressed, I'd say... yeah, my guess is that losing a child would be worst.
What would happen if a person lost all his emotions?
I am with Ignatious Bowskill. In psychology we call lack of emotion “flatness of affect.” It is symptomatic of some very serious mental illness. Not to be taken lightly. This is not being unemotional like “Bones” on TV. Dr Brennan does get emotional sometimes and when she does the floodgates open. Emotion is an essential part of living. One cautionary note. There are four legitimate emotions: mad, sad, glad and scared. We add some embroidery to get existential angst. Point being something can happen and you feel mad, sad etc. for three seconds. If you feel the emotion longer than that it’s because you decided to hang on to it. Nobody can make you feel an emotion.