What are the effects of parental favoritism?
From my personal experience, I've seen parental favoritism cause lifetime effects. My mom's brother was the favorite- she was the least favored. 50 years later, she still struggles with feeling inadequate and has a hard time trusting people. Because of this, she has a hard time maintaining friendships and family relationships. My grandmother and her sister were treated differently by my great-grandfather. My grandmother was treated as the most special. Her sister was expected to do chores, take care of the family etc. She ended up being the dependable, reliable one because she developed her independence. She also never forgave her father or her sister for their unfair treatment. My grandmother grew up needing others to take care of her. This is a pattern I've seen. Those that are favored end up developing few of their skills and talents. Many times they grow up becoming more concerned about pleasing other people. And many times they don't know how to take care of themselves. Those that are disfavored can become strongly independent, but they may also have weaknesses in their ability to trust others and form lasting relationships. What is true is that favoritism has an unhealthy emotional impact on all children, whether favored or not. A good book that deals with this subject is The Emotional Incest Syndrome : What to do When a Parent's Love Rules Your Life, by Dr. Patricia Love.
I'm having problems with my parents favoritism.?
Hey, I totally understand how you feel. I'm the middle child too, and no matter what, my parents put their problems on me. Man, my mom spends money on chess lessons for my brother. SERIOUSLY! It's like 60 dollars/ hour that she could be using for my basketball or SAT prep. The point is, when you grow up, none of this will matter. I'm the same age as you. When i grow up, I want to move to NYC and become a doctor or pyschologist. Oh, and when I was 7, my dad constantly told me of how stupid I was and how because of that, I would have no friends when I started at a new school. The point is, even if I try to talk to my parents that they're being biased, they refuse to listen. There's nothing you can do about it. Just focus on the future and what you're going to do once you get the hell out of that house!
Favoritism, why do parents play favorites? ?
don't start out by saying they don't because they do. my brother is 2 years older than I am and my parents favor him over me. 3 years ago on the christmas after he turned 18 my parents bought him a car, and are still to this day paying for gas and insurance. but last christmas after I was 18 they gave me $20 stuffed in a card. my brother still lives at home with no plans on moving out or finding a job anytime soon, while I am working a job, taking one year off of school so I can afford to go to college next year 1100 miles away from home. I asked my parents if they could just COSIGN for a car and I would be responsible for ALL payments but they won't even help me with that. if they won't co-sign the interest rate would be 16%+ if they do cosign I could get a 7% rate. I don't get why such a lazy brat can be favored over someone who is working hard to make things better for everyone? for years I have: cooked dinner for a family of 6, 4-6 nights a week baby-sat the two younger kids helped with homeschooling the younger two when mom had to go back to work. did the laundry for everyone keep the house clean run errands as needed and so much more, all while my older brother has sat on his butt playing video games and watching tv. I am SICK of this. Why do parents play favorites? and do all parents do this or just mine?
Why do parents show favoritism with their children?
Parents show favoritism with their children for many different reasons. Sometimes a parent has not been healed from something in their past and they are reminded of that thing when they look at, think about or interact with their child. If a person doesn't know how to handle their past in a healthy way they will usually cause pain when they are in pain. Hurt people can hurt people. It is unfortunate for the child because now they are being scarred by a scarred parent. Unconditional love is possible but it doesn't always happen naturally. Some of us have to work on it. Sometimes we need help to be able to love unconditionally. Children need to be loved for the very one that they are. They are unique and individual just like adults. They deserve to be loved just because they exist.
My parents having favoritism? How to deal with it? please help >_
I'm the oldest child in the family and I'm in highschool. I'm studying in a foreign country right now, so i'm having a hard time coping up in a lot of things...at school and at home. Being the first child, I often feel as if I'm just being experimented by my own parents. they make me do things without even supporting me. They make me go to school without even supporting me. They dont even appreciate my achievements. we don't talk anything about school and when they come home from work, we don't even have a good communication. They only draw attention to themselves and to their favorite child. Sometimes I feel out of place and not a part of the family because the only one they think about is my sister. And she's also selfish. My parents didn't attend my graduation when I was in grade 6, but when my sister graduated in grade 6, we had a big party at home and they were very proud of her. and in our field trip, I walked to school that early with my baggage and when we came back they