Need some advice! i hate lying to my parents but i feel like i have no other choice?
Get a job, pay your own way, get your own place, and do what you want. Doing that last thing without doing the first three is called being a spoiled brat. Unless of course you are a thieving, pimping, drug pushing, thug or a stripper/prostitute/ho. Why not pursue the things that will prosper you in life like career building, family life, eternal security? Partying and drunkenness are not conducive to any of those. While you can't image at your age how short life really is - I assure you all the time you waste with sex and drugs and rock'n'roll will come back to haunt you. Go and pursue a life as a Christian Missionary - you will not be bored and you will have a social life that includes your most important friend - The Creator. If you died today would you be ready to face God? Only the Blood of Jesus Christ can justify you before Him. Find some folks who can help you understand that, and depression will never oppress you again. God is good, all the time!
I want to chew tobacco, any advice, am i doing the right thing??????/?
look, i know that people will start saying, oh, your going to get cancer, don't do it, its horrible, its gross. Hear me out. I am a middle-eastern coming from a very middle-eastern family. My ancestors have used tobacco for hundreds of years. My parents have smoked cigarretes a ton since age 15 and they are close to age 60 and they have no signs of lung cancer. And they smoke a lot, and when i mean alot, i mean like at least half a pack a day. My dad started chewing tobacco a while ago. And so did i. He doesn't know i do it though. A year ago i chewed tobacco for about 3 monthes and then stopped because i was getting braces. I did go through withdrawal symptoms, but i wouldn't say it was the tobacco i was missing, its more like my friend who gave me it, and we would always go hiking and ditch school to go to his house and hangout, and we would just have a ******* blast. It was beast beyond all reason, my friends said it was stupid, but at least i had something i could say was cool. Anyway, i am turning 18 soon and well i want to dip again. Not alot, when i dipped i dipped at least 4 times a day. I know that i can't get addicted because i was able to easily quit it in the first place. I want to dip like once every week. And i know i can do it. I know that it might be hard, but i am a die hard american even though i am middle-eastern, i love America alot more than my American born friends. I like my tobacco. I am not addicted i just like the buzz when i want to relax. I hate weed, and don't tell me to do that because i want to be conscious most of my life. Anyway, is it ok if i brush my teeth and floss alot and do chewing tobacco once a week. And i know i can fight addictions because everytime i said i could do something i did it. I am a man of my word and i never break a system i set for myself. Is it possible and will i not get mouth cancer seeing how i won't really be doing a lot of chew. Because i know that people have to do like 12,000 cans to get mouth cancer, well i heard that somewhere. And seeing how i come from a family of tobacco resistance. I think i can do it, but i want to have someone elses' opinion just so i have a piece of mind. And no one tell me to smoke cigarretes because i propably will, but i want to chew my chew i just want to know if its safe and if i should stop, no alternatives please.
Life Advice: Did i do the right thing to walk away from this friendship?
Yes, you needed to cut her out of your life.There is a term for what she was, and it is, “Frenemies.” Frenemies are people who secretly don’t like you but pretend they are your friends, and this is a classic example of it.This concept is hard for decent people to comprehend. For most people, if you like someone, you choose to be friends with them, and if you don’t, you walk away. But not everyone is like this. Some people are sadistic and enjoy the feeling they get from hurting others and putting them down. I think it’s a form of mental illness.Put another way, what did she bring to you and the friendship?She may have been sadistic like this, jealous of you, very insecure, or just a highly opinionated bitch with lousy social skills, but the “why” doesn’t matter; all the matters is that you’re free of a so-called friend who treated you horribly. There was no excuse for what she did.Move on confident that you absolutely did the right thing by cutting her out of your life.
Please help me do the right thing here. Thanks.?
My friend in high school Wanda and I were talking one day and she told me she had a step sister Connie that was 18, beautiful, and had never had a date. I asked her how that was possible. She said Connie was sexually abused when she was younger and she was afraid of all men. Wanda asked me if I would take her on a date and show her that not all men were pigs. I was very reluctant to do that as I did not know anything about sexual abuse. Wanda said “Please, it will help her lead a normal life” so I agreed to do it. I thought I knew on my date with Connie the most romantic thing I could do was hold hands. However Connie had other ideas. She wanted to cuddle and kiss a lot. To my untrained eye, it looked to me like she was trying to make up for all those lost years of not dating. I thought to my self, how could this be for someone that was sexually abused when she was younger. We both had a good time on our date. The next day Wanda called me and said Connie REALLY ENJOYED the date and wanted to do it again. I like to help people when I can but I am in way over my head in knowing how to treat someone that has been sexually abused. The LAST thing I want to do is cause her any problems after all the problems she has had in the past. Can someone give me some advice on this please. I like her but I am scared to death I will do the wrong thing and cause her a problem. Should I just treat her as any other date and follow her lead. PLEASE HELP ME DO THE RIGHT THING.
If I have to choose between "the right thing" and "the thing which I want" in life, what should I do?
I will tell you upfront that there is no perfect answer to this question. Most people try to do the "right thing" all the time, but sooner or later they choose what they "want in life". You can only struggle for so long. At some point, you take small defeats; you take the easier road; you get tired of doing "right" and you want the easy way out. I haven't met a person who has been with "right" every time. A lot of people "claim" to have always done right. Their claim is never a proof. At some point, you always do what is easy. And what is easy is taking the thing that you 'want'.But, I think that choosing what you "want in life" over the "right thing" won't make your life restful. In the long run, it will make you extremely uneasy if not worse.And choosing what you 'want' too many times is how people create their own "personal" hell. I have met people like that. People who became rotten on the inside because they chose wrong and now, its too late to change it back. Hell, I think I have even been such a person at one point or another.So, I would do my best to choose the "right" thing every time. And I would advice you to do the same. The apparent sacrifice in giving up 'what you want' for 'what's right' is nothing compared to the trauma in store for you if you don't. Even if you somehow protect yourself from the trauma, there will be someone who will pay for your choices because if you don't do right, you do wrong to someone.P.S. I apologize if I sound too preachy. This is one question that I am too close to.
Too overprotective grandfather.... really need some advice here?
Ok. First, is your grandfather your legal guardian? If he is, you'd have to take some steps legally to have his guardianship ended if you want him to have NO say in anything that you do. Second, starting by calling him insane probably isn't going to get him to see things from your perspective. Has he ever met this friend or his family? As a parent, I'd admit to feeling a little uneasy if my child was visiting a friend I had never met...but if you are 20 years old I would imagine you are mature enough to make the decision to visit a stranger (to your grandfather). If the car is in your grandfather's name (meaning his name is on the title), then he has the legal right to keep you from using it. If the car is in YOUR name (and his name does not appear on the title), then no, he cannot legally prevent you from using it. However, he can prevent you from keeping it on his property. Make sure you have some other place to store your car if this becomes an issue. I think that your grandfather would be more willing to let you go without restriction if you provide him with the address, phone number, and name of this friend, and some kind of itinerary (schedule). If that is not the case, I would say that you'll need to get either the local Human Services department involved, or talk with a lawyer about getting your majority (being declared an adult without parental/guardian supervision). Try not to let this get you down. All of us have had times when our parents have forbidden us to do something because they were fearful for our safety. If another adult needs to discuss this with your grandfather for him to feel comfortable about letting you go on this trip, you'll need to ask their help. Good luck!
I found some things in my dad's closet...and I need some advice...?
Okay, so the other day I was looking for something in my dad's closet and I came upon this shoe box. I opened it and what I found really disgusted and angered me. I found pictures of my mom in suggestive positions and even a few photos of my parents having sex!!! I was so repulsed by all this. Before this, I knew that my dad had some problems with pornography, but I never knew about that shoe box. I am so disgusted by my dad, I hate him. I need some advice about what I can do to lessen my anger towards him.
Help need advice for bff marriage!!?
It's hard, especially since you're so emotoinally involved. If she wants to do the right thing, the only way to do that is to avoid the other man. If he really cares about her, he'd understand and not insist that he can't live without her, thus giving her the guilt trip. If her husband is treating her like a dog, it might be that he realizes what's going on with her and that someone else. My advice to her would be to make up her mind about what will work for her. If she wants to be with the Father of the kids for their sake, then she needs to get out of the other relationship or at least put it on hold for a little while. If she wants her children to see her in a good relationship with this other man, she would need to dump her husband and go with the new guy. There is no easy answer here--that's the toughest part. But any decision that is made has to be made 100%. She can't just keep leading both of them on and think that things will work out in the end for her. It's impossible because the human heart can only be torn so much!
Did I do the right thing by cutting of this guy?
Of course, I don't know his side of things, and it's possible that you've told your story in a way that makes you look better, but in general, I think you've done the right thing. He seems more focused on what he can get from the relationship--being seen with a pretty girl, letting her buy him food or drinks, being allowed to hold your hand and kiss you... but he doesn't seem much interested in wanting to make sure you're comfortable and happy in the relationship.In fact, he almost seems to think that because he spent money on you, you owe him some physicality. We in the West have a word for that, but it's not very complimentary, so I won't use it here. Look: the two of you liked each other. You opened your hearts to one another, and when you saw him for who he was, you were less than thrilled, and you pulled away. There's nothing wrong with that. You absolutely have the right, indeed the duty to protect yourself and not get physical with a guy you don't want to get physical with. But don't kid yourself: after investing to a certain degree in a relationship, when you suddenly terminate it, it's going to hurt at least a little. That is completely normal. Just grit your teeth, cry if you need to, and smile through the pain. It will fade. Believe me.I do not for a moment believe he was only looking for more kissing when he brought you to his room. That's a convenient fiction he might be telling himself, but I guarantee he was trying to push the boundaries. If that were not the case, rather than staunchly defending himself, he would be running after you expressing his sorrow for his misstep. His attitude would be one of penitence, not of vindication.Demanding his stuff back shows you the transactional view he has of love. He gave you a gift, but as soon as he realized that what he gave you was not enough to get you into his bed, he wanted to void the transaction and get his stuff back. That is not a very attractive character quality! That said, as the person breaking up, you sort of have an obligation to return his gifts anyway. And why would you want to keep something that reminds you of this smarmy guy anyway?No, Sweetheart, you did the right thing by cutting him off and giving him his crap back. And it's smart to block him on your phone and social media accounts. And by all means, go to the event you wanted to go to. He has no say over whether you go, especially since you invited him, not the other way round.Stay strong, my friend.