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Revise My Introduction Paragraph

Help to revise the introduction of my essay.....?

My family and I were born and raised in Santa Ana, El Salvador. Even from when I was just a little girl, I can remember always watching my mother cooking just to see what special meal she was preparing for us to eat. Even to this day, I can still smell the exquisite aroma of the pupusas made from scratch by her hands, or the delicious fried chicken with rice that we had for lunch on so many different occasions. Our country is characterized by many typical homemade dishes made to eat both at home and at important festivities. Although the foods we eat are diverse, there is one staple that distinguishes El Salvador, and that is the pupusa. The pupusa a kind of tortilla filled with cheese, beans, and/or pork.
All my life I have been accustomed to the taste of Salvadoran food. Even though my family has lived in the United States for four years, we still eat foods that are native to El Salvador. I feel lucky to be a part of this special heritage and tradition. Every Christmas and New Years we make the traditional Salvadoran dinner. We also celebrate other holidays and occasions with native Salvadoran snacks. I feel that is a privilege to be able to cook traditional Salvadoran foods and feel great pride in giving my mother's special touch to each dish I make.

not sure how old you're supposed to sound or where this essay is going. anywayz I only changed a few things

Can anyone revise my paragraph?

Please fix grammar mistakes or anything that seems funky in my paragraph. I don't have anyone else to ask and this is important because it's for my scholarship essay! I promise I would pick the best answer (10 points), so please help me :)

my paragraph (it's a introduction paragraph to my essay):

If someone asked me, “What does community service mean to you?” four years ago, my answer would be “Working with no cost to add to my college resume.” When I first began community service, volunteering to help out my community didn’t mean anything but to look impressive to my dream colleges in order to achieve my personal goals. However, community service has a significant meaning in my life now. Throughout the years of taking part in the community, I have made unforgettable memories and gained intense awareness of myself. Community Service should be embraced by every person as they are growing up. It is not just an act to make yourself look appealing to colleges, but rather a stepping stone to build your character. Doing community service matures people due to exposing themselves to something they would have never experienced otherwise. It changes perspectives and makes you think for someone else other than yourself for once. Community service became an important part of who I am. It’s that little part of me that academics, friends, and even family can’t fill. It is the satisfaction of knowing that I am not just taking from the community, but rather growing with it.

Revision of my introduction paragraph to my essay please?

“I don’t even call it violence when it’s in self defense; I call it intelligence.” were once words spoken from a significant man who played a leading role in the history of African Americans. This man was Malcolm X. An Articulate public speaker, a charismatic personality, and an indefatigable organizer, Malcolm X expressed the pent up anger, frustration, and bitterness of African Americans during the major phase of the civil rights movement from 1955 to 1965. Malcolm X spoke of a violent revolution, which would bring about radical change for the black race, while a man with the name of Martin Luther King, Jr spoke out to all humanity. Martin Luther King promoted non-violence, civil rights, and the end to racial segregation, while Malcolm X dreamed of a separate nation. Malcolm’s keen intellect, incisive wit, and ardent radicalism are evident in The Autobiography of Malcolm X and his Ballot or the Bullet speech.

Is it a good idea to write an introduction paragraph last to make it easier to finalize all ideas (still be the first paragraph)?

Sure, if it works for you.In a written paper of any length, I find that it's essential for me to have my thoughts well organized and outlined before I begin. Once I've done that, writing an introduction becomes easy, and the body of the essay follows from there.But, as I write the body of the work, I will clarify my thoughts and solidify my arguments, which will often lead me to edit the introductory paragraph in my second draft.It's very rare for me to make significant edits to my thesis statement or main points after the first draft (though I have done it); typically, I am just expanding upon my arguments and tightening my prose. This is because I've already established my thesis and outlined my main points before I began writing.In a shorter pieces, such as Quora answers, I don't outline; I can simply plan out the structure of what I’m going to say in my head and begin writing. I only occasionally edit what I write, usually to add an explanatory phrase or paragraph if I feel that my first answer isn't detailed enough or is too U.S.-centric.However, this is my process. If you find it hard to get started with your introductory paragraph, then skip it and come back to it. What's most important is that you get those thoughts on paper in the first place. For many people, beginning is the hardest step, so don't worry about how you begin, just begin.

Need help on writing an introduction paragraph for my fantasy novel?

I'm not sure why you need an introduction, but why would you start it with a passive sentence? I'm going with the book is exciting, so why isn't your first sentence? Catch the thrill of the book. Hook the reader, set that hook, and reel in your reader.

My query letters will start where my novel starts, the moment the main character's life changes - when he wakes up to a face full of cold coffee grinds in the trash. Seriously, didn't that make you need to know how that happened and who he is? That's what books do, why shouldn't the introduction do the same thing?

Added after reading your added:
Oops, that was supposed to be the beginning of your novel. You started it wrong. Start where the main character's life changes drastically. The rest is the story.

When revising a paragraph, what do writers focus on?

It depends on what I’m revising it for.Clarity and purpose would be the main things.Is it an expository paragraph introducing my reader to a character or setting? Or is it internal narrative that is revealing the character’s thoughts?I make sure the tone, word choice, and flow match what I’m trying convey.Sometimes that means including more profanity and making sure grandiose language is a minimum.Sometimes that means increasing descriptions of a place or person, or decreasing it because it’s too long.I’ve cut things I really like from paragraphs (or moved them) because it detracted from the flow of the novel.That’s in a creative sense.For professional works/emails then I’m usually just revising for clarity and grammatical errors.

Can an introductory paragraph be a full page?

I've just finished writing a paper and when I went back to revise it somehow my introductory paragraph ended up being an entire page. Is this ok? If not can you split up the intro into two paragraphs (the thesis statement would be at the bottom of the second paragraph in that case)? The paper ended up being only six pages long but the requirement is only three. I'm afraid I'll have to cut some of the intro out but I really don't want to if it's at all possible.

I need help writing revising my yearbook introduction?

Our theme is either going to be Re or Rewritten. It just needs to be more detailed and such.
Here's what I have so far. Please and thank you!

To re-write
An instance of writing something again so as to alter or improve it.
That is exactly what the students and faculty of Williams Bay High School has done, not only this year, but every year that has been and every year to come. Every year we grow, change, and improve our school for the better whether it is in school like sports, drama, music, clubs, academics, or us personally like our aspirations, goals, taste in music, or hair color.
Every year at this school is as different and unique as the people who teach and learn inside of it. So just as we change and rewrite our lives at WBHS, our yearbook must do the same. It is time to remember, redo, reminisce, rebuild, recap, recall, and rewrite our time here at WBHS.

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