How to not offend a Sikh
Whatever you do, don't make any jokes or disparaging remarks about the Sikh holy book, the Guru Granth Sahib. The physical volume is treated with immense respect because of the word it contains. Naming of babies and weddings must take place in the presence of this holy book. Sikhs promote religious tolerance but it would be wrong to assume that you could take any liberties with religion due to this. If your offensiveness includes swearing or taking God's name in vain, then it would be good if you could stop doing that.
Would you be offended by this?
I want to give my husband a surprise 50th birthday party in the fellowship hall of our church. There is limited seating area and so I want to tell people not to bring their children. How should I go about doing this without stepping on toes? There's simple not enough room for all the adults and their children. (not to mention they are a distraction) I do not want to have to plan [seating, food, and intertainment] for a bunch of kids. What should I do?
How can I not offend my Grandma (again)?
Last Christmas my Grandma did all the cooking. Well, we rode to Baltimore for the holidays at Grandmas (We live NC) She knew I was a vegan, but I guess she just blanked. She placed stuffing, ham, deviled eggs and other stuff on my plate. I wouldn't eat it. EVERYTHING she cooked had milk or eggs or meat. I didn't eat anythhing. I wan't going to throw 2 years of vegan away over dinner, so I just sat there and conversed. She thought I was insulting her cooking. I told her I'm vegan and she said if Grandpa was there, I'd eat it. NOT TRUE! We are going back this year and Mom asked if she would make me a vegan mini meal.. She said no, mom said she'd just bring food and grandma got mad. WHAT DO I DO!
What do you say to someone when you offended them and you don't know what you did to offend them?
If someone is treating you coldly, and brushes you off when you try to approach them, that’s a warning sign you’re dealing with a dangerous person.What you should do is obvious: approach the person, tell them that it appears to you that you did something to upset them, and ask them what it was. If they tell you, and you agree you made a mistake, apologize. If you disagree that you made a mistake, tell them how you feel, that you’re sorry if you did something to make them feel bad, but don’t take responsibility for something your conscience isn’t telling you you should.If the person doesn’t allow you to repair the relationship, and you in any way feel like you’re being manipulated, this is a serious danger sign that you are dealing with a dangerous person. Research what the characteristics of an abuser is, and make sure you’re not running into this situation, because what you’re describing is a classic example of what an abuser would do. You could be setting yourself up for a world of hurt if you start down the road of doing anything to try to make this person happy.Hopefully I’m seeing potential danger where none exists, but this is a possibility.If it’s not the case that the person is dangerous, this will be immediately obvious, because any emotionally and psychologically healthy person will immediately discern what you’re trying to do and cooperate with you to repair the relationship.
Why do some people get offended SO easily?
You talkin' to ME?! I think some people take things so personally because they don't have the intelligence or knowledge or open-mindedness (or all three) to analyse what's actually being said before considering their response. Their immediate reaction is one of offence or retaliation because they think the question is directed at them. An example I've just seen on Yahoo! Answers was someone asking "Are Whites ashamed of their history?", and the asker went on to list various things that Europeans have done over the years such as slavery, colonisation etc. Although I think the question may actually have been worded to provoke people, I was surprised at the amount of people who seemed to take it personally and who responded with disdain and various insults rather than actually considering the question and providing a measured and thought-provoking answer. I suppose it's also down to personality. Those that are more highly strung or have been subject to bullying, humiliation or whatever in the past may have a more reactive response to questions and views. Some people just have issues!