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Should I Take This Personally

Why do I take things too personally?

Your question is also your answer, if you know what I mean.

It's because you don't have a lot of friends, and probably, no offense, and I hope I'm not being presumptuous, not much of a social life. I only say this because it truly pains me to hear guys say things like this. Think about it, when you have lots of friends and acquaintances and something of a social life that involves going out and enjoying yourself in groups, you won't have any time to dwell on the small stuff that happened six months ago--your mind will be too busy thinking about the future and all the exciting things you are going to do.

Also, don't be afraid to take charge in a situation. If the other person isn't talking, then you try initiating. Remember, a lot of people are just as self-conscious as you, and are afraid of not making the "perfect" impression. Well, you know what, nobody's perfect. Don't always be the one to feel like you are under the "microscope," put others under the microscope as well. Don't always be the one seeking approval, be the one whose approval and validation is wanted. If a person doesn't respond to you, they are most likely boring and shy themselves, and you don't want to be around those people.

That's a very powerful idea--if you internalize it, I guarantee you that your social interactions will improve a thousand times over, and you'll have a lot more peace of mind.

Why do I take things personally?

You identify strongly with your ego. Your ego has one job, to justify its existence. It stands for fear, separation, judgment and guilt.It gets tiresome to take things personally. If you choose to look at situations for what they most often are you can begin to release some of the hold of your ego.The truth about our experience with others is that what we judge about them and what they judge about us is about ego projection.The truth about us: what bothers us about others is usually the stuff we want to address in ourselves on some level that lurks just outside our consciousness.The truth about them: it is the same thing from another viewpoint.The only thing to conclude is that what anyone else thinks about you…is none of your business—because it has NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!Figure out why you are reacting to what you react to. Ask yourself questions that go deeper than the surface, ask yourself why sometimes your reaction is disproportionate to the stimulus. Be curious and you will be able to let go of personal attachment and move through any issues that come up for you.Do unto yourself as you would have done to you not only advises you how to treat others but also how you should be treating yourself.Hopefully there is an idea or two here you can use to help you to not take things so personally from now on. Best wishes!

What does "don't take it personally" mean?

When someone feels unfairly blamed, hurt, missunderstood by the actions or words of another, the term is used to take the sting out of these emotions by saying the perceived insult was not an attack on their person, their character, but some general belief or concept in the one whom they felt maligned.

When should you take things personally?

If by “take things personally” you mean “take things as pertaining to us,” I think we should do that when those things are intended as such.Sometimes it's necessary to ask in order to know! Someone might be walking around with an angry or critical expression that has nothing to do with us, or a giddy grin that began well before we crossed paths.If by “take thing personally” you mean “feel offended,” I think that's typically a choice at the receiving end. Offense may or may not be intended, and offense may or may not be taken. Criticism need not be perceived as an attack, and neither correction nor comment need be taken as criticism.

Do you take rejection personally?

Actually it's kind of the most thorough "rejection of you" that exists.

When you ask someone on a date, you're putting your whole self out there for them to pass judgment on. How attractive are you? How ethical? How respected? How clever, flirty, smart, responsible, even-tempered, well-groomed, playful, athletic, etc., etc.?

And they have to consider all those things and give you a very simple grade - "pass" or "fail."

That's the reason that asking someone out can be so terrifying.

No kiss after five dates -- should I take it personally?

This guy isn't necessarily shy, but he probably has a somewhat low self-esteem when it comes to girls. He is so worried about if he makes a move on you he will offend you (Which also means he cares about your feelings). Most real gentlemen have this problem, especially if he hasn't dated that much previously. He is probably looking for you to make the first move, or at least looking for a clear signal to make the first move. Problem is, he's so nervous about it he probably won't see the signals you give him. Chances are this guy REALLY likes you, but he is really nervous. You might just tell him that he has nothing to be nervous about. Or you might have one of your friends or his friends tell him that you are waiting for him to make a move. Basically, all he needs is some assurance that your not going to slap him and walk away.

He is not gay, he keeps asking you out. If the hug was awkward, he doesn't just want to be friends... it was awkward because he is nervous.

You also might want to enjoy taking it slow.

What can I do to take criticism less personally?

Wow, that’s a hard one. Our subconscious mind takes criticism poorly because it feels that being disliked may mean being kicked out of the tribe and therefore left in the wild to starve. I don’t know anyone who likes criticism, I don’t like it either. Not liking criticism makes us try our best and be good to others.Here are a few steps to help you out:The person who criticized you has forgotten about what he told you, he’s more concerned about the last criticism he received.Analyze the criticism and make a list of things that you can do to be better if you agree. If the critic says: I think you have a stupid haircut and you like your haircut you just do what you want. But if he tells you that you interrupt others you may want to make a plan.Feel the ouch in the gut, be aware, yes, it hurts but I’ll feel better later. At night, before bedtime if you feel like rehearsing what the person told you please push the thoughts away. You can push your thoughts away, you cannot push your feelings away. If you try to push them away or feeling bad for feeling them you’ll make it worse. Feel the pain and take deeper breaths, when you feel better avoid thinking about the criticism.

What does it mean to "not take things personally"?

It means not to make everything about YOU. If someone says, "I don't feel like seeing a movie tonight," taking it personally would be you assuming that they are mad at you, that you did something wrong, that they are cheating on you, that they don't like your taste in movies, etc. Not taking it personally would be you assuming that they were sick, they had a rough day at work, they had other plans or responsibilities, etc. One perspective is all about YOU while the other is about THEM or about general circumstances in life. In this case, taking things personally is usually bad, because you're being selfish, maybe even mentally or emotionally abusive or unhealthy.

Sometimes, though, people will say, "Don't take this personally, but..." and then start saying something really rude or something that might hurt you, like, "you have a way of being really annoying," or "your breath smells bad," or whatever. In this case, obviously, you're going to feel it's a personal attack or an embarrassing comment, and they are just trying to let themselves off the hook. If you get upset, well, it's not THEIR fault, they warned you. In this case, I'd say it's bad of them to use the phrase and absolutely ok for you to feel slighted.

HTH

When should one take something personally?

When it goes to the core of your being and it is fundamental to you.We cannot legislate what people should take personal and what they should not. Why? Every single man you see evolved through stages that shaped their personality, experience and relationship with people.For me, I do not find it funny when the least of mistakes fetch people a loss. I find it odd when a bull knocks a man down and people laugh. But some people are cool with others making a mockery of their unfortunate situations.To live fine, know the lines people draw, don't cross. When experience or anything makes you decide something is to be taken personal when done to you, people will respect that line too, as you have to theirs.But I think we should all take issues that bother on our happiness and humanity personal.