How To Tell Someone That You Self-harm?
Hello. I'm 16 years old and I have been self harming for a few years. It started as just like bruising myself and hitting things but in the past month I started to cut and scratch. I try to tell myself that it isn't a big deal and that no one needs to know, but it's getting worse. I used to not know why I did it but now I know why and it's because I don't feel good enough for anyone and I have a deep self hatred for myself. I still don't think I NEED to tell someone, but I'm starting to think it would be a good idea, I want to stop, but every time I try, I end up hurting myself again. I have a friend who I have been thinking about telling. She is in band with me, which leaves us an opening to talk if she takes me home tomorrow. If she does should I tell her then? or should I tell her before? I don't have her number so I cant tell her over a text, but I'm also really scared to tell her. I don't know if she will react badly or not. So should I tell her? And if I do how should I tell her? like how should I ease into it so she wont freak out?
I used to self harm can i tell someone?
Yes, self-harm is a very serious matter. It can be very bad, as it can lead to death and other situations. Telling your teacher would be a good idea because they know that self-harm is very dangerous. They can help you and maybe talk to your parents about it. They're not going to say to other teachers that you self-harm, its a private matter. Or even if you talk to one of your best friends about it. Someone who you can trust the most and who would never tell a secret. You shouldn't hide this stuff, obviously, don't tell everyone as people will think of you different and hurt you even more. I did, and I told my best friend. They helped me get through it, and I think they are one of few that know about it. Telling that ONE person, got me through everything. They were very supportive and saw me from my point. Message me if you need to. : )
Why should I tell someone that I self-harm?
You shouldn’t.I would expect you to get some answers saying that you should tell other people and that might help, but as someone who used to self-harm and stopped by myself without counselling or therapy, I wouldn’t tell other people. There is still a huge stigma surrounding people who are depressed and people who self-harm, people will make assumptions about you and once you tell one person the news can potentially travel fast, your parents will be involved and you might forcefully have to go into therapy. In my previous school you would be suspended for medical reasons and you wouldn’t be allowed back in until your counsellor, your parents and the school think you are better and it will be on your school record, which can potentially affect your future if you want to go to college.Unless you know someone else that self-harms, and you feel comfortable telling them be careful who you tell. If you still feel the need to tell someone try and find someone outside school or work, even if you tell your school counsellor who isn’t allowed to tell other people about what you say, he or she can tell your teachers since you are technically a threat to your self.
How can I tell if someone is self-harming?
Sometimes the signs and symptoms are extremely obvious, other times it's difficult. Depending on how thought out the person has been about it, you might never even suspect them of it. Some people, however, do it and try to get rid of the evidence as they go. Here are the usual/most common and obvious signs;-Long sleeves/pants/shorts, especially black, in warm weather.-Excessive scars in the same area (Wrists, forearms, hips, stomach, and thighs are the most common places.)-Lack of swimming or swims wearing long shorts/t-shirt-Lack of blades in razors/pencil sharpeners. Missing lighters/matches. Broken glass.-Jumps/winces to physical contact.-Bloody towels/washcloths/clothes.-Lots of excuses for the scars. “"Oh those? My cat bit into me and my sister was trying to get him off me.” “Cardboard cut.” “"I was trying to make a bookshelf..”But then there are the not so obvious people. The ones who lie well. The ones who know exactly what to say. The ones who have scars in random places, some even pain in the asses (like on the finger). Who cut right were the underwear rests and make sure that it can't be seen. The ones who use forms of self harm that can't be seen. The diabetics who overdose or don't put anything in. The ones who don't sleep for days just to feel the pain of trying to function during the day. The ones that overdose on their parents old medications. Those who drown their sorrows in alchohol. The ones that fight just so they can feel the rush of adrenaline and the sting of a punch.Self harm isn't always noticable.
What is the best way to tell someone you self-harm?
This depends a lot on both you, your friend, your age, and your parents.If you’re certain your parents would not be supportive and them knowing would do you more harm than good, then tread cautiously with who you tell. But please still do tell someone, self-harming is not a struggle you can get through without talking to anybody about it.In my experience, though, the first step to stopping is wanting to stop. It’s actually really fucking hard to want to stop, because it seems like something you could stop if you wanted. And then it escalates, and I really didn’t believe that at first.This is something that is alienating and difficult, but having friends checking in on you will absolutely help. If you can be brave and tell your good friend, then that’s an amazing first step.
Self harm (my cousin), should I tell someone?
My cousin and I have been best friends for as long as I can remember, she was always nice and funny, and still is. She is one of those crazy awesome people, but I still don't understand why she dresses in black all of the time and wears so much makeup and black nail polish. Anyways, recently her and I and her family stayed overnight at a hotel and we went swimming and when we were getting out of the pool, I realized that she had what appeared to be scars from cuts on both of her arms, after I saw that my heart almost came out of my throat, I could not breath for a couple of seconds, I didn't know what to do, should I ask her what that is on her arms? Or should I not say anything and act like nothing happen?, I decided to say nothing. But I just could not get the awful image out of my mind. I hate to say it but it actually didn't shock me as much as it should have, earlier this year I noticed what appeared to be a cross shaped cut on her arm and I had asked what it was and she said that she just woke up with it, but later that day she messaged me on Facebook saying that she cut herself because everyone in her family hates her ect. I messaged her back saying that her family doesn't hate her, everyone feels that way sometimes, but you know in your heart that they love you. And I told her I didn't want her to hurt herself because she is loved, even if she doesn't see it. Anyways my question is, do you think I should tell someone about this? Or is it not my business?
What are the signs someone is self harming?
There’s big ones and tiny ones…A big red flag is if someone wears long sleeves/jeans in hot weather. Note: if they walk around in tank-tops and shorts that doesn’t mean they don’t self-harm, I cut my upper thighs up, so as long as there’s shorts I’m safe.Extreme carefulness with an object / tenseness to panicking when you move around a certain place or definitely when you casually search their room. Cutters hide blades, burners hide their burning stuff (…..), and the slightest chance of discovery will freak them out (don’t EVER touch my phone or that one book on the shelf)Tracing over a certain covered body part. Idk if others do this, but I sometimes find myself unconsciously tracing over my cutsUnexplainable knowledge on the topic. It seems easy to hide this but isn’t always, especially when the person is considering to tell someone (like you)Jumpiness when something comes close to a certain body-part, especially if that something is heavy/hard enough to hurt like a motherf*cker on fresh cuts (cat on lap….. ~.^)And ofcourse bad excuses for sudden cuts/burns/scratches/bruises. No, it probably wasn’t the cat, and it’s doubtful you hit your arm to the door AGAIN. “It’s nothing” is even more obvious, and you’ll likely hear it if you ask it out of the blue short after the cut/burn/scratch/bruise showed up, ’cause they haven’t thought of an excuse yet.I’ll add more if I can think of any, I hope the person you’re asking for is not self-harming. Though if you suspect it, they probably are… Don’t go overboard if they are, confront them calmly and get them help with their knowledge (do it behind their back and you’re sure to make things worse). Good luck
How do I tell someone I cut myself?
Doing it in person is hard. It's hard to face the slew of emotions that others feel when you tell them something so personal as that. If it's too difficult for you, I recommend doing it via a note or written media (I did it via a text message to my mom). This lets you revise the note as many times as it takes to get it to say what it needs to. It lets you think through it and make sure it won't elicit unnecessary panic or worry. And, it lets the other person process it before they approach you or seek other advice. It's a good way to get it out there with less stress to you.Mine said something to the effect of:"I've been really sad lately, and I hurt myself intentionally. I am not suicidal, but I feel so stressed that I don't know how else to deal with it but with hurting myself. I need help."Give this to a guidance counselor, parent, teacher, or other adult you trust. Please don't do this to a friend, if you're younger. It's a stress most teens can't handle, or won't handle properly. Confiding in friends is one thing; asking them to help you resolve a harmful issue such as this is another. Seek adult help, from anyone you can.I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've been there. Good luck, and feel better!
How could i tell someone/get someone to notice my self harm cuts?
for a few months now i have been self harming - don't give me a lecture i know its bad. I dont want to stop because it settles me a lot there is a person at the yard that i work at and i trust her, i really do, she knows about my past eating habits except about the throwing up stuff. she persistantly asks me whats wrong as i used to be very loud and talkative but now i can never find the words to say to people, i feel so alone sometimes. I really want her to know about my self harm, i used to use the sharp edges or bobby pins but just tonight i used a blade from a razor for the first time, it was much more effective but i dont want to push it. if i tell her, i think it will help me reduce it a bit Im so scared to tell her though because i think that she may tell someone else. She's 20 im only 15 she like gives me jobs to do there, she's higher up than me. is there a way i could get her to notice then maybe ask me about them instead? i won't deny it if she asks me but i keep chickening out of telling her Please help? thanks, Jodie