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Son Blocked Toilet With Christmas Cards

What are the funniest marriage/couple jokes you have come across?

Some global opinions on marriages..  When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Lee Majors  After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Al Gore By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - Mike Tyson  The great question which I have not been able to answer is, "What does a woman want? - George Clooney I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. - Bill Clinton  "Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to  a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music  and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."  - George W. Bush  "I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." - Rudy Giuliani  "There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." - Michael Jordan  "I've had bad luck with all my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't." The third gave me more children! - Donald Trump  Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it. 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Shaquille O'Neal  The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.. - Kobe Bryant You know what I did before I married?? Anything I wanted to. - David Hasselhoff  My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. - Alec Baldwin  A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Barack Obama  Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. - Tommy Leep

How long does a relationship last with a narcissist?

Mine lasted for four years. There were many pseudo-break-ups, especially in the last year. But he never actually left. I was the one to leave in the end. And this was because I finally decided to investigate and talked to several women he had dated during our relationship and one he was currently trying to date. Of course, none of them knew I even existed. We’d just been on a romantic getaway and were making plans for the summer but then a couple of weeks later his odd behaviour started again and that’s when I decided to investigate. Well, two weeks after the getaway he was contacting this woman, telling her he’s “on the market”. To me he was pretending to have plans with me for the future. And you know, he probably did in his twisted way. So if I hadn’t investigated, if I hadn’t left, the whole ordeal would probably still continue. With him cheating left and right, lying to me all the time, making me feel like I’m going crazy, etc.So I’d say that a relationship with a narcissist can last for a really long time depending on how much the other person is willing to swallow. If the question would be “how long is a relationship with a narcissist not shitty” the answer would be a few months, maybe a year. Not more.