Treating Others The Way U Want 2 B Treated

'Treat others as you would like to be treated.' What does this quote mean, and why is this important?

Imagine a place where everybody is responsible for their treatment by others solely based on the way how they treat others.Meaning:Don't disrespect people if you don't want to be disrespected.Don't give others a bad feeling about themselves if you don't want to receive the same feelings.Or the positive way:Be kind if you want kindness.Treat people with respect if you want to be treated with respect.This rule “Treat others the way you want to be treated” is actually very old. The Christians refer to it as Golden Rule. Golden Rule - WikipediaSo why is this important?Behaving a certain way just to get a certain treatment from others or a result is not the thought behind it.It means to be aware of people's feelings and to think about the way your actions would affect their lives by considering your own feelings and expectations if you were in their shoes.Please feel free to edit :)

What does the phrase "treat others how you want to be treated" mean?

The phrase you mention is actually known widely as the “Golden Rule”. It can be considered as a Law of Reciprocity. It is effectively seemingly common-sense guidance, which is intended to be much easier for people to remember, instead of a long list of “dos” and “don’ts”.The Golden Rule is fairly widespread across different cultures around the world, in both religious and secular circles, but operates on the assumption that everyone likes to be treated in the same way you like to be treated.I am personally more of a fan of the “Platinum Rule”, which is a less self-centred twist on the Golden Rule and states something along the lines of “Treat others as THEY want to be treated”.Given that everyone is different, it is only fair to assume that not everyone wants to be treated in the same way that you do. I might prefer to be left alone if I’m feeling sad for some reason, while others may prefer to be comforted and talk about their problems.You might like eating takeaway at home in your pyjamas, whereas I might prefer to get dressed up and go to a fancy restaurant.To make the most of the Platinum Rule means engaging with the other person, get to know them, make observations and ask questions to find out more about their likes and dislikes.I recently heard about something called the “Titanium Rule” which even goes 1 step further. It goes along the lines of: “treat people in the way that is in the highest and best good for them”.It recognises that occasionally people may desire to be treated in a way which is against their own self interest. An example could be certain enabling behaviours, like providing requested drugs to an addict to stop them buying on the streets.However, this could potentially be seen as quite arrogant, in terms of always knowing what is in everyone else’s best interests.So it seems that summing up an approach to dealing with other people into 1 simple memorable and universal rule is not so straightforward! But for sure, being compassionate and recognising that people have different needs and preferences is paramount.

What are some situations where "Treat others as you would like to be treated" does not apply?

Professional environment.Problem with the Golden rule: Most of the people you work with are not going to be like you. They have a different background, different wants, different needs, different preferences, and are in different areas of their own development.A manager coming into a new position that prefers a hands off approach from her manager, with broad outcomes defined but freedom to choose a direction. She assumes that her new subordinates prefer a similar management style. Think of the problems that could occur if, in fact, her subordinates prefer a more hands on approach that involves extensive feedback! Neither approach is right or wrong, good or bad, better or worse. But they are different.So here's a new rule. Instead of treating others the way you want to be treated, let’s say that we’ll treat others the way they would want to be treated.“If they’re not like me, they should be!” - Aint gonna cut it!"They are what they are, I have to make do with best that I can" - More like it!Relevant Read: Executive Coaching

Is the concept "treat others as you want to be treated" a little outdated now?

Here’s the thing: I like honesty, objectivity and directness.I like things to be disclosed out in the open.I like to know where people are coming from, what are they thinking, why they do what they do.I like to be told things directly and with as little decorative accessories as possible.I dislike when stories are told to prove a point, when the point can just be stated directly.And it took me long painful years of my life to finally realize that people are completely different!Most people are VERY private about what moves them.They are VERY private about their own personal stories.They are VERY private about why they are like they are.(Ever wondered why people do small talk? It’s so they can interact a lot with others without having to disclose anything about themselves.)People LOVE accessories, decorations, and side stories when being told things.So by treating people the way I like to be treated, I was pushing them away, by sounding invasive, rough and pretentious.So it’s not that "treat others as you want to be treated" is outdated. It never really applied to begin with.

Should we treat people as we wish to be treated, or should we treat them the way they treat us?

If the golden rule is to treat people the way you want to be treated, the platinum rule is to treat them the way they want to be treated.I think it's a lot more practical to treat people based on policy and values than to be in reaction to how they treated me. It's also fundamental to the quality of integrity.Some days I take offense at things that I'd laugh off another day.  If I'm working for absolute parity, my responses are going to be all over the place - telling people to fuck off on Wednesday for things that I thought were funny on Monday.  They have a word for that and it isn't a compliment.Then there's the problem with intention.  When it comes to behavior, I'm comparing their outsides to my insides.  Did the guy in front of me at Starbucks know that I wanted the last piece of coffee cake.  Should I run over and empty all the creamer so he has to drink his coffee black or just assume he wasn't thinking about me at all?  Now I have to think about him and his motives to know how I should respond.If I have a way that I treat others, period, and I stick with that, I save myself a lot of processing time.  I don't have to wake up in the middle of the night and listen to my brain calling me an asshole or doormat.  People can learn what I'm like and predict how I will respond, which puts them at ease and lets them like me if they're so inclined.I am such a fan of having a steady, policy driven way of dealing with others that it doesn't really matter what that policy is.  As Henry Higgins said, "The question is not whether I've treated you rudely but whether you've ever heard me treat anyone else better. "Now that's integrity.

Should you treat others as they treat you?

Yes, if you want a wide range of friends. Only narcissists treat others as they want to be treated.Narcissists don’t realize that many people are not like them, that people have different motivations and desires. For instance, some people prefer kale instead of chocolate. Some want coaches who yell at you, while others want to be coddled. Some thrive on pressure, others are easily stressed. Some enjoy getting spanked, others like it nice and gentle.Those who treat others as they want to be treated have a narrow range of friends because they think anyone who is different — doesn’t follow same etiquette — is an asshole. These people are capable of sympathy — they project how they’d feel if they were in another person’s situation — but are incapable of empathy. They can’t see from another person’s perspective. That’s why they often complain about how rude and inconsiderate so many people are, while failing to recognize their own sins.This form of narcissism is expressed politically in the US by those who believe everyone, except for evil people and the uneducated, wants US political system.When you treat others as they treat you, you mirror them. People love to be mirrored because people are narcissistic. Mirroring also requires empathy and empathy makes people feel better. A cashier who mirrors a frantic customer by frantically speeding up service makes that customer calmer. A cashier who tells same customer to calm down makes the customer more agitated.While treating others as they treat you can win you more friends, it can also protect you from continued abuse. The Soviets placed missiles in Cuba because the US first put missiles in Turkey. In the end, missiles were removed from both.