I am gay. What should I do?
What does it mean for a person to be homosexual? It is when a person feels sexually attracted to a person of the same gender and probably wants to get into a physical, emotional, intimate relationship with them.Masturbating to a fantasy idea of men does not necessarily qualify you to be gay.But if you do feel that you are attracted to them and that you are gay, then the first thing you need to do is realize that it is not a disease which you have contracted (because that is what it seems like from your question).Now, to take up the matter of concerns in your question.1. It is definitely not mentally healthy to live in a restricted environment and denying yourself the right to live the way you should but in the end it would boil down to how you perceive the society to be.People should not judge your qualifications and talents based on your sexual preferences but the harsh truth is we do not live in such a society.2. There do exist more homosexuals in India than you would think. Some have embraced there sexuality and come out publicly, others still choose to be in the shadows. There are many anonymous chat groups which would lead you to good people to talk to but with much like everything on the internet, you would have to search for a while.3. Looking at your post, it seems like you are not attracted to females at all, if that is the case, then you are definitely not bisexual but as I mentioned earlier, masturbating to a fantasy idea does not necessarily prove that. The question then is to you: Are you at all attracted to women?4. Stopping to feel ashamed is a matter of acceptance. You have to realise that it is not something to be ashamed of. This is a part of who you are and does not in any way make you any less of a person than you would be if you had any other sexual orientation.5. Coming out to your parents is the lesser of your worry if you haven't really accepted yourself. When you do tell them, know that it will be a shock to them. It may take some time for it to sink in. I mean, it has taken you so long to digest the fact yourself, just imagine what it would be like to your parents who have grown up in a totally different generation. Most of all be patient with them.Going abroad to JUST hide your sexuality is just plain absurd. If you are really gay, the reality will not be left behind. Even if you manage to escape for a while, it will catch up.Be strong and be optimistic but most of all don't think that all you are is defined by your sexuality.