How to slow down internet connections as a joke?
I would be far from pleased if you did this harmful thing to ME. I fail to see what it is that would qualify what you want to do as a JOKE. You have a sick sense of humor and I am glad you are NOT my friend. That said, this is what hackers do with virus and trojan programs, right? I see nothing funny or humorous about interfering with someone else's communications. How would YOU like this kind of thing done to YOU? Would you be laughing at the JOKE, or what? OK, so if you are really determined, all you need do is write a program to waste time, a looping program that simply does nothing but count and stop when it reaches some incredibly high number, and then raise the thread priority of your program to higher than all other threads and it will hog CPU cycles and ALL other running programs will run that much slower. Higher priority does not mean the other programs stop, just that of the fixed number of CPU clock cycles per second, your time waster gets more of them at the expense of the rest. Say you have 10 threads running, Each gets the same amount, say 10% of the total available. If you raise your thread priority, it gets 19% and leaving each of the other 9 threads with 9% each. Raise it another notch and the same repeats, 28% for your thread and only 8% each for the other 9 threads. So, in effect, you take your 100 mph race car and sped it up to 280 mph and the other 9 race cars slowed down to 80 mph. You zip along and the rest crawl. HOW you write this kind of program, I leave to you, the student...
Should all comedians avoid telling any jokes targeted at the LGBTQ community?
There is a difference between punching up or punching down. Comedy that punches down is just bullying mascaraing as fake funny.I do not think it is healthy to have sacred cows that cannot be poked fun. You have the right to say what you feel, and people - society, groups, etc - have the right to get back to you with feedback about how they feel about what you expressed.So keep this in mind. Because it is not so clear cut as this question puts it. It’s complicated. We can make jokes about Caitlin Jenner without denigrate her gender and identity.That’s where the line is: poking humor while also staying clear of denigrating someone’s dignity and humanity.And it’s not just for this community but for any one and any group.
What are some good jokes about computer networks?
A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and tcp packet says “yes, a beer” .In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it’s overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hang on just a second, I need to close the window.”When I try to send SYNs to chicks, I don’t get any ACKs. Just FINs and RSTs.IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…” The worst part about token ring jokes is that if someone starts telling one while you are telling yours, all joking stops.The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them.I would tell some UDP jokes too but I never know if anyone gets themThe best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.I had a funny UDP joke to tell, but I lost it somewhere...The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!DHCP jokes only work when there is only one person telling themThe worst part of SSH jokes is that, even when they're not funny, you suck it up and just pretend they were anyway.The problem with token ring jokes is you need to wait your turn to laughI’d make a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if anyone’s actually listening…
Why can't some people take jokes?
Different people grow up with different senses of humor, and they learn to interpret jokes in certain ways. First of all, it's not always clear when someone is joking. For example, if someone went up to me and said, "since you're an American, that must mean you own an assault rifle". The first thing that comes to my mind is that the person is making a joke, but that's not necessarily how everyone will interpret it. Some people might interpret the comment as a serious comment and not a joke. This confusion can be avoided by good joke delivery, but confusion can never be completely avoided. Also, even when it is clear that a joke is being made, some people view jokes as "jokes for the sake of jokes" and some people view jokes as "jokes for the sake of punching up or down". The former (jokes for the sake of jokes) are simply jokes for the sake of being absurd. If someone walks up to me and says "since you're an American, that must mean you own an assault rifle", then I am might interpret it as an absurd joke, not meant to belittle me, but rather just to point out a funny stereotype. On the other hand, someone else might interpret the joke as belittling them. They might think that the person telling the joke is trying to insult them or "punch" them. There are two kinds of "punching": "punching up" and "punching down". The act of "punching up" refers to telling a joke that insults someone of privileged status (ex. A black American belittling a white American via a joke since the white American is in the position of the privileged status) where as "punching down" refers to telling a joke that insults someone of oppressed status (ex. a white American belittling a black American via a joke since the black American is in the position of the oppressed race). It's never quite clear whether someone is telling a joke with the intention of simply being absurd or if they're telling a joke with the intention of belittling someone. Also, some people argue that some jokes are "punching up" or "punching down" regardless of intention. How an individual interprets a joke is a matter of upbringing. There are a million sub-contexts in the English language and in English-speaking cultures, and when it comes to jokes, it sometimes becomes very complicated which sub-contexts are being used.
What are some good jokes for a sweet sixteen party?
Q: What's the difference between a drunk and a stoner? A: A drunk runs a stop sign while a stoner waits for it to turn green.
I'm always the brunt of jokes when it comes to my family?
I am sorry. I think less of them for putting you down. It speaks more of them, and less of you. How pathetic!!! Maybe for this year at least, avoid them? Find good friends who will welcome you to share the holidays with. Your family will see what they did wrong. I avoid some of my family because they are abusive. So just because they are your natural born family, does not mean you can not find a better one with your friends. Break off from them for a little bit. You can do better-right? You deserve better-right?? Why would you want to hang out with people who have nothing better to think of, say, or do than to talk bad about you (past or present tense)? They sound like abusive losers. They are bad for you and your growth as a human being. Move on. :)
Please explain this joke from Seinfeld to me?
Indians typically were forced to live on a section of land called the Reservation. Not too many of them do now, but Jerry was making a play on words. Scalping is something that it was thought Indians did back in the old old west. They'd attack the wagon trains coming through their land and kill everyone and scalp them..or so western movies would have us believe. Again a play on words, as both words now have two meanings.