Why do some black people seem to think that if we follow all of white society's rules (speak standard English, abandon Afro-American culture and become perfect citizens who do no wrong) that they'll finally accept us?
Why is speaking standard English, adopting mainstream American culture and being a perfect citizen a "white society rule"?The premise of your question is completely wrong. Although the framers of the Constitution had landed, educated white men in mind when they founded the country, they created a self-correcting structure. The ideals of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are not exclusive to white people.Of course, living in a pluralistic society means that you can live according to whatever rules you choose. There will be consequences if those rules violate mainstream rules (e.g., polygamy, animal sacrifice, female genital mutilation etc....).Whether "they" accept "us" is less important than whether "we" accept "ourselves" in all the shades, ideologies, religions that we come in. If I'm the descendent of land owning free blacks am I any less Afro-American than someone descended from slaves? If I speak standard English, am I any less Afro-American than someone who speaks gulla or AAV? If I have a college degree (like my father and his father before him) am I less black than someone whose graduation from HIGH SCHOOL is a first in the family?We, that is the collective black we, need to stop worrying about "white people". If you're an engineer, solving an engineering problem, the math and physics doesn't care if you're white or black. If you're writing code or programming, the code doesn't care if you're white or black. If you're a plumber, airplane pilot, oil driller, archeologist, brain surgeon, architect, none of the media you work in care if you're white or black.The only time this becomes material is when you're dealing with people as a lawyer, police officer, family doctor, teacher etc...and you're constantly held up to the mirror of others. The more you focus on the hard sciences and the like, the more you realize that the issues you are focused on are irrelevant. The more of "us" in the hard sciences setting an example for broader society, the less of a focus there will be on "us".