Didn't Receive a Thank You Note for a Birthday Gift?
I understand how you feel. It is true that a gift is expected whenever you go to birthday parties but the recipients can't even find 5 minutes to write a little note talking about how useful the gift was and to say thank you again! And even if the gift useless, which I'm not saying that yours was, a short thank you letter is appreciated! I also find it annoying that some people weren't raised good manners and don't have common sense. If a gift is expected at these parties, weddings, or what have you, then a thank you letter is just as expected! Talk about hypocrites! I would be just as upset as you are because I've been in your position before where I didn't receive nothing for my efforts but a verbal "thank you". It's just isn't good enough. Now I'm not telling you how to feel and to not take it personally, unlike the other responses here, because everyone is different and I do understand how you feel. For me, I always make time to write thank you notes, even if the gift is tacky and useless. Hey, it's the thought that counts right? lol
I sent a thank you gift and received a thank you note for the gift, should I reply?
Would you like to reply?Having a back-and-forth of kind notes that goes on indefinately is not ridiculous, it's called "social correspondence". I used to exchange such notes every couple of weeks with a few of my girlfriends after my family moved to a new city. I even exchanged them with my boyfriend while away on summer jobs or military call-out. Why didn't we just text or skype, you ask? Well no, you didn't ask, because you probably figured out that Skype and text-messaging don't go back to the time when my birth-family was moving around the country or to my unmarried days when I had a boyfriend.Several years ago I gave my teenaged daughter and her friends coordinating address-books and stationery. Two of them have taken to sending notes to and fro, despite the modern convenience of electronic communication. It's eccentric by millenial standards, but I understand and even envy them the practice. There's a sweetness to hand-written social correspondence that is very different from modern electronic communication. Of course, you have to have more to say than "thank-you for the thank-you note you sent to acknowledge my thank-you gift." Include a sentence or two about what's going on in your life; a philosophical thought evoked by a current book, TV program or course; a shared reminiscence, and a question about their current interests. Hardly a waste of stationery; in fact it is for this that stationery was intended!So if you want to enter into an indefinite social correspondence, go ahead. Your friend has extended the opening to you.
Should I send a thank you note for a thank you gift?
I am a primary school teacher, i get various thank you gifts at the end of the year, to recognise the extra hours I spend supporting families and pupils; writing tailored and personal reports; leading the year group away on a residential trip etc. I get frowns from other teachers for questioning the "unwritten" protocol: we write thank you cards for end of year thank you gifts. I want to say stop already! It is the end of the year. I need a break! I wrote thank you letters for Christmas presents. (I did not get any for the ones I gave my pupils.) I have given everything already! I need to recharge my batteries. But some (perhaps without families of their own) keep writing the cards. Do I hold my head high, or in shame?
I get really annoyed when people don't send thank you notes for gifts. Would it be wrong to just stop giving gifts to those people?
I get why not feeling acknowledged could make you feel upset.I think stopping gifts would be extreme. But I think it’s also important to understand for yourself why you’re giving gifts.Part of why you’re annoyed may be because of how you view gift giving. Giving gifts for the sole purpose of hearing a thanks is the exact same as apologizing for the sole purpose of being forgiven. It’s not really genuine if you’re behaving for the sole purpose of getting a cookie.People won’t always respond the way you want them to. People weren’t brought up the same way, and the may not have even been taught to send a letter of thanks for the gifts. It is kind of harsh and unfair to expect that of them, and then try to punish them because of something they may not have been taught to do.But, what you can do is talk with them about it! Refusing to give them gifts won’t communicate your feelings—it’s just an action, and the people won’t directly understand what point you’re trying to make.“I don’t feel acknowledged when you don’t thank me when I give you gifts. I know it’s not always easy to remember to say thank you, but I’d feel more respected if you thanked me when I buy things for you.”Or just ask them why they don’t say thank you. Remember to be assertive, not aggressive or passive, use ‘I’ statements. Non violent communication is very similar to assertiveness, if you like, you can research it more.In response to whether or not it would be wrong to stop giving gifts entirely, it’s not wrong, it’s just unclear. You’re allowing your friends to draw their own conclusions about why you stopped giving gifts, some people may not even notice it. They may just assume that you’re saving up money and couldn’t financially do it. They won’t immediately think “Oh! It’s because I don’t say ‘thank you’!” because 1. they may not have been taught to say thank you, and 2. most people are not that self aware.Again, I understand why you’re upset; not getting a thanks can be disheartening. But, there are also clearer, more productive ways of expressing your feelings.
Thank you notes for those who didn't attend but sent a gift?
Attendance at a wedding has nothing to do with sending a thank you for a gift. It isn't necessarily tacky to mention the amount; however, you could state what you will be using the gift for -- helping the two or you purchase things for your home or if you used it to do something fun on your honeymoon, etc. or you could simply thank them for their generosity. You can also take a look at Emily Post's website. She is the leading (American) authority on proper etiquette.
What should wedding guests do if they don't receive a thank you note for a wedding gift?
Understand that sometimes life genuinely gets in the way and that the recipient truly appreciated the gift.I found out I was pregnant not long after getting back from our honeymoon. Then I had complications where we were worried I could lose the baby due to cramping, I was also rocked by 24 hour nausea. I was so genuinely ill that thank you notes were the last thing from my mind. Of course if we spoke to anyone we verbally thanked them but our focus was shifted to just coping with the pregnancy.I could not work due to the constant nausea and I weighed less at full term than before I was pregnant. I had gestational diabetes and SPD where my ligaments get too loose and can’t support your frame. It was a nightmare pregnancy. Once my baby was born I considered sending thank yous but it just seemed odd to do it so late.Each time we use a wedding gift I still whisper a thank you and appreciate it.
Do people ever reply to thank-you notes/emails/gifts?
Thank you for asking me.I think that it's natural to wish for some acknowledgement when you give a gift or do something for another person. This is how the tradition of thank-you notes emerged. In this electronic age, hand-written thank you notes are rare, and therefore make a strong impression on recipients. In many systems of etiquette, writing thank-you notes is all but mandatory.However, written acknowledgements of thank-you notes are not mandatory. It is gracious to respond to a thank-you note, and it can be the start of a rewarding correspondence between the gift-giver and the gift-recipient. In a business context, a smiley face sent by email is probably sufficient as a response to a thank-you note sent though that channel. However, if a client has thanked you for your services, it really is a good idea to let him/her know that you appreciate the kind words and that feedback is always welcome. You might also add a comment or question about some aspect of the product or service that you provided. It's also appropriate to say that you hope to do business again soon.In a social setting, it's acceptable write back and say "thank you for your note," although you're not obligated to do that. There's no need to make the correspondence focus on an infinite loop of gratitude for expressions of gratitude. For a family member, friend, or acquaintance, you might go on to say that you enjoyed hearing from him/her, and ask about your correspondent's well-being and interests. It's also acceptable to add some news about yourself.
How to write a thank you to someone who gave a gift but did not come to a bday party?
want to add some background info: we can't say hope to see you at the next one, b/c we are moving out of the state soon. he is not a good friend, BUT she was in preschool with him for one year, then she went to a diff. school until last year. we know the parents enough to say hello but nothing more. the dad once worked on our computer many years ago (he fixes computers). the mom said in a note with the gift that they could not find the invite, and she tried to call using my # from the phone book, but it was not the right number..so never go to RSVP. this was the day before the party. she said he could not make it b/c he had hebrew school. I want to write a nice note b/c I thought it was soooo nice to give the gift even though he did not come. thanks for the ideas so far-- esp how to word it!
Is it ok to NOT send thank you cards?
I'm not very much into thank you cards either. If you have thanked them over and over face to face it should be enough.