What do you think about this verse/poem...honest opinions!?
Ive never lost my faith and ive stayed ahead of the curve in my place, now its time for me to rise and show you all my ways, learned alot at a young age, life comes with problems, and ive learned to turn the page, always thinking on my feet and stayed away from defeat, forget you if you judge and remember im great. U aint
Honest opinion about my best friend poem?
Best Friend Thinking how incredible this remains Sense to have come across a best friend, us two I won't find anyone better Someone who cares, Stuck together, and'll be forever wouldn't be crazy to let this go dwindling on the days we haven't met something so special here, yet it brought me fear being through the tears, we stuck together, our journey keeps going on wondering the days you'll be far, still my best friend I'll be missing you, I'll say fifei you'll say who? Rekindling the moments in summer, I'd join anything, go anywhere, with you, by the time I'm older, can sing and play guitar, you'd watch me on TV and we might seem far, but your my best friend, I'd give up my time to spend any time with you. Tell me your my best friend, and I'll feel that way too If you ever need me call me, I'd pick up, even if it's at two, I could say I'm sorry a million times, but only time will heal, for the years that have gone by, I know that this is real. Because you're my true best friend.
What's your honest opinion about me?
Well since Dawn Amber A2A’d me. . . let’s make this about her.Dawn, you’re an extremely fascinating person. From our conversations, it’s easy to see you are intelligent and cultured. You’re kinda sorta homeschooled like me.You’ve also got a fun wit. A biting one for sure, but a fun one.All in all, my honest opinion of you Dawn is that you’re a good friend. We’ve had our ups and Dawns. . . (HAHA GET IT ok I you can go ahead and groan), but overall I’d say we get along pretty well.It’s good to know you Miss Amber.
What do you think of this poem? Again, honest, constructive critics?
From the moment I met you, my eyes cast a gaze, but not enough to offer a clue. Time passed but questions of you constantly raised. Chance came along with perfect time, once again face to face. I admit I never expected to pine. My thoughts ran to closeness concern for the pace. I imagine your warmth blanketing me while we lay side by side. Too shy to come forth, it was time I bide. The picture became clear that you as well as I were eager to be near.
What do you think, honest opinions - constructive critics!?
Beleive they say, have faith and happiness will come your way. We all have our lessons to learn, the piper to pay. I see the wicked feeding on opportunity while the pure just try to earn a dollar. I see the so called successful and the ruin from their path disgraceful. Lying witness to the world turning in the wrong direction has left me with no intention. It seems the darker the soul, the faster to reach the goal. The pure at heart, lose from the start. Leading the way with the faith that prosperity comes only when struggle survives.
What's your honest opinion about my first video?
Well, I think the music is really terrible. But I think that the camera work is actually really good, so nice one to whom ever did that. General quality of the visuals in the video seem surprisingly high. Colours are very consistent, the hue and tone of them in general I think are really good as well. Lighting also good, the objects and subjects are clearly visible when they should be.Overall it’s pretty neat, though I don’t know how much help, budget or purpose lies behind this.
What is your opinion of this poem I wrote?
Could I simply say that my opinion of your poem that you wrote is that it is quite deep (pun intended).However, if you wanted critique or something particular to go on with, you should say that in the question. I’ll assume permission is given in the A2A for critique.The metaphor is good, a little unbalanced in the middle, but it holds although the shifting focus is a little confusing. When you start, it feels like you are talking about a person and their relationship to you, whereas at the end it feels like you are talking about inspiration by mentioning your muse. The two mix up together. Maybe there are two poems here trying to find form in the one set of words.Blank verse is probably good to keep metaphor in its place. Metaphor can be quite naughty sometimes.I like the alliteration and consonance scattered here and there. They give the words a soothing feeling, though there is a contrast with the wildness of the ocean which the salt water represents to me.There is the William Butler Yeats poem The Fish which has a related theme, though with a different approach and resolution.The FishALTHOUGH you hide in the ebb and flowOf the pale tide when the moon has set,The people of coming days will knowAbout the casting out of my net,And how you have leaped times out of mindOver the little silver cords,And think that you were hard and unkind,And blame you with many bitter words. [1]Footnotes[1] The Fish Poem by William Butler Yeats - Poem Hunter
What do you think of these short poems?
Not bad, a tad sluggish, you should be more clear within grammar and context, overall great concept, well done.
What's your opinion on this poem? (See question details)
I agree with other A. I'm good with this, I agree with the need for searingly honest work like this. my only real experience with poems of witness, which I see this as one: read it aloud as much as you care to, or to close friends. Have a paper copy handy so U can edit it where it becomes too much like a political speech, where basically, the audience may lose interest. Keep the images and language fresh. The purpose of reading it aloud is, where is it repetitive, or too much"ideas" and less graphic.? That's the show, don't tell concept for fresh poetry.The one phrase I would change is near the end." That's why I hate this country. Because I love the idea of this country. Because it mixes me up like a spoon stirring platitudes..." or something to show you have hope for change.Now, another thing on reading the work aloud. I trust you are used to reading in front of crowds. Even if so, practice is good. It looks better to read it smoothly than fumble for words, which appears amateurish. Good for you, and maybe you can comment back how everything went. Be well, Sams.