What do you think about this short story I have written?
Thank you for the A2A and sorry it has taken me so long to reply!!Your basic plot is very good and I like the way you put your words together, although sometimes you've used unnecessarily 'big' words when something simple would have done just as well.Also your writing seems a little scattered. You have an idea but you go off on tangents or throw something into the mix that doesn't seem to fit.Sometimes your descriptions of something are too long winded and there are a couple of places where it would have been nice to get a little more detail.Some of your sentences are not quite right either. I understood what they were meant to say based on what was in the sentence and what came before and after, but there are a few words missing.Some of the sentences are too long and need more punctuation or to be arranged differently.Basically I would say that you need an editor who can take what you've put together so far and help you turn it into something truly amazing. It is probably going to take at least five edits for just this one part, if not more. But be patient. The bones are there, now they just need to be fleshed out and beautifully clothed.Here are some links about where to publish short stories: Where to Submit Short Stories: 25 Magazines and Online Publications46 Literary Magazines To Submit ToFree online publication of short stories. Publish your short story now.How (& Where) to Get a Short Story PublishedGood luck with your writing and I wish you all the best in your future endeavors!
What do you think of my story I wrote?
Without spoiling, its about two girls who go on a journey from Chicago to Toronto, only to find themselves in a magical land as they have the 'blood of the unicorn' https://www.wattpad.com/557334232-blood-of-the-unicorn-fleeing-from-chicago
What do you think about this post that I wrote?
I just now glanced through your post on the video surveillance techniques and related advantages by installing one. The post is good and has come nicely; however it needs to be edited. I can see lot of grammar related goof-ups. The script can be made more crisp. You can also give examples of specific industries where your system could be more suitable ; eg., a retail jewelry mart, or shops that deal in small products of high value, etc.
What do you think of this story I wrote?
I knew it was going to be a bad day as soon as I heard the phone ringing at 6. I was just having a long terrible nightmare when the phone started to ring. I was pretty tired when I woke up so I told Alaina, my 10 year-old sister, who’s always woken up in the morning, to please answer that annoying phone which was bothering me too much with that horrible sound. I had the premonition that bad news were sure coming. It was my boss, David, telling me I made lots of serious mistakes during last month so he started going round and round and finally he pronounced the worst words a serious worker could have ever heard in his life: Jason, you’re fired. It wasn’t something new, bosses are always strict, they just want us to do more and more, not to stop. I don’t really know what really happened, anyway, I did the best I could. The fact is that now I had to go and find a new job. Another job, which I can be comfortable with, and not being afraid of what others can tell me. In the other hand, I seriously think it wasn’t that bad to be fired of that job I always hated: carrying heavy boxes with that poor money I earned. I got out, and like a new day in a new life started going all through the streets of Miami, FL searching for my destiny.
Why do you write stories?
Two of the fictional stories I wrote recently were about a group of teenagers committing a bank robbery and a teenage boy witnessing the gay bashing of one of his classmates.I explore innocence.In those critical years, the gangling transition between child and adult, what happens when adult experiences are forced on children? How do they cope? In what ways are they transformed afterwards?He’s red down his neck, all over his body, coated in blood. And, and I’m staring at him, at this, all of this, and, I don’t know if I should call the cops, or get an ambulance, because they’ll think I did it. They’ll see me here—someone will see me here—and when the cops get here they’ll think I bashed Stevie’s head in or, or maybe worse, they’ll think I’m a fag like Stevie’s a fag, or everyone thinks he’s a fag, and then tomorrow Al will come out here and he’ll bash my head in with a rock so I run.I don’t know that I’m running until I see home.I throw open the front door and Mom isn’t home yet, and I’m glad because my hands are covered in blood. No, it’s dust. It’s dust and snot and tears but I’m scrubbing my palms in the kitchen sink for what feels like hours but I can’t get all his blood off.I can’t get all his blood off.Mothers take a prominent form.A comfort. A representation of being young and safe and unfettered.The crimes are always violent and leave no room for return. The protagonist is irreparably changed.Fiction is fiction. These stories are not real. I am not a teenage boy, nor have I ever been.But I find it impossible to write anything but the truth.I should think every story is a snippet of an autobiography. We can’t help but leave ourselves behind.Perhaps that’s what I love so much about fiction—you can tell the truth without revealing which part is your truth, and which is your characters’.There’s comfort in that, I think.Unlike many writers, I am not brimming with stories. I write fiction mostly because my classes demand it.But when I do… well, I don’t know how to write anyone but myself.
Story i wrote for a contest please read and tell me what you think (im 14 go easy on me.)?
Holy COW! For fourteen, that's amazing composition. I say, you're definitely college bound. I'd actually give you credit for Freshman Composition I based on that story alone. One minor word that I noticed was "loosing" in "losing custody of you," but even the best writers have to pay editors to fix their work. Did I say, AMAZING? Let me know when you're rich and famous! I was wondering where your inspiration came from...I guess we'll see your story on Oprah someday.
Do you think this is the worst story ever written?
You have not seen bad writing until you have seen My Immortal. That is all.
How do I deal with the embarrassment of thinking a story I wrote is really good and sharing it, only to find out that it's horrible later?
First of all, congratulations on hopping onto the first rung of the writing ladder—putting an idea on paper and seeing it through to completion! Time for a pat on your back.Next, you say that you reread your story. In my experience, rereading a story you have written can be underwhelming. I have a theory for this: if you’re reading a different author, you’re still under the suspense of where he/she is going to take the characters..and you. It’s unknown territory, and gets you to turn the pages. If it’s your writing, however, a sense of familiarity has sunken in. Added to that, if you are a beginner, your mind may already be riddled with self-doubt and apprehension, which only puts further pressure on you while reading the story, leading you to feel more critical about the piece.Now, embarrassment/fear are emotions many writers feel initially. Of ridicule, rejection, the works. It’s also natural: writing is a very cathartic process that involves putting yourself out there, leaving you to feel vulnerable and a little exposed. After all, this represents how you think. The best way to deal with it is recognize the embarrassment, and that it is a by-product (mostly) of just starting out, accept it and find ways to power through it.For instance, you say you think your story is exaggerated. Why do you feel that way? Does it significantly depart from reality, or require the reader to willingly suspend disbelief? Is it how you tied up the ends? Do people apart from you feel the same way about the story?If you can answer these questions, you have taken the first step to tackling your fears. A rational and practical approach to understanding your emotions, and subduing their impact, will not only help you respond better emotionally, it will also help in realizing a better end-product.Now, if it helps, I can read your story and offer you feedback. Especially since I’ve been (and I sometimes still am) in those shoes. But guess what? For both you and me, it’s time to buy a new pair.
I wrote my own story! Is that good for a 13 year old?
Well my story is about a my life and it would be kool to be alittle more different then i am....It's like a romance, comedy, hero story kind-of thing... i might put it on the ABOUT ME part of my profile ^-^ Plz look or if it wont fit i put alilttle pit of it on my account on Quizillia! and it's good... i have another story but about me and Naruto-kun! ^-^ and my friends.