Relationship help? Is his behaviour wrong?
I'm in a bit of a horrible situation. Basically, I am engaged to someone but we don't live together yet. We do however, plan to live together in the next few months. My fiance currently owns a flat jointly with a friend of his..they own 50% each. I own my own little place Recently, my father's health is not great and I suggested to my fiance that my dad buy the friend's 50% share,….then my dad can live near us, while my fiance lives with me..That would be an affordable and sensible option. We couldn't afford to get a new flat elsewhere. I've mentioned it to him and I don’t think he is keen to let my dad buy his friends share. His friends earns lots of money and could easily buy his own flat or house undependently. At the moment he is living in the flat and my fiance is rarely there (mostly he is with me) but still pays half of the loan and all the bills. I thought this would be a chance to get my dad closer to us...If he doesn't want to do this, I feel that he is putting his friend before me. Shouldn't a man put his future wife first? I asked his what would he do, if it was his mom or dad …and he said, he would make his friend move out.What do you think? If a man puts his woman after his friends and family, does he deserve to marry her?
What exactly is wrong with me? How do I change my behavior?
Ok,first of all, I appreciate your gut to write this about yourself, takes a strong woman.Now, sit back, take a deep breath ,chill, and read on...One day I decided that I won't get angry at trivial things , and will not outburst my emotions.I was all set,positive, and happy about my decision.After some days, a silly situation came up, I reacted the same way, and I regretted again.Why I am telling you this is to make you understand that it's all about patterns, and this happens at a subconscious level. We are just not aware about it, but we do it suddenly.After it's done, we regret. The same is happening with you, you just keep on doing it unconsciously and you just can't help it.So,this is a loop which will keep iterating because it has taken control over our mind. Stats says : Your actions come from 90% of your subconscious mind and you do it unknowingly.Now, since you have asked this question expecting somebody will give you a counter thought on what you are doing,and after reading ,you will realize your mistake, and you will suddenly stop following the pattern which you have been following since years.I am sorry, this isn't so easy. You already know you are wrong, but you just can't come over it, right?? Now, how to get rid of it?MEDITATE!The only solution is meditation, I may talk like an oldie here, but this is the real solution, if you genuinely want to come out of the this dilemma and habit pattern.Meditation has the capability to uproot every bad pattern, decode the bad habits, and install the new Life Code.So, if you are really looking forward to change yourself,start meditating, you will get control over your mind, and that's the only key, the only way out.PERIOD.P.S I hope it gave you some perspective.