What should I do when my parents die?
There is a lot you can do now that will ease your way later when it happens.1. Write their obituary now. Of course, you needn't actually write it out, but gather all the information that a regular obit has, such as schools attended, degrees earned, the year of graduation, what they did for a living, what businesses they worked for or owned, accurate birthdays, and names of all their siblings and their parents as far back as you can get. All this is basic family information that you should have in one place. Your children and grandchilden will be grateful that you put it down on paper.2. If you aren't 100% sure, ask them what they want for the funeral ceremony -- cremation or burial? What items should be buried or burned with them, what clothes. Do they want flowers? If so, what kind? Music? Try to get them to be as specific as possible, but of course be sensitive and don't try to press matters. If they don't want to talk about it, leave it.3. Financial matters. Ask them to put all their financial papers in one place so that if something should happen, you can access it all directly. Talk to an estate attorney to make sure that you their estate passes with as little taxes as possible.4. There are personal items that they own, like rings, jewelry, photos, furniture, family heirlooms, souvenirs. Find out who should get what. Ask them why, and how they got this object, and what it means to them. Every personal object has a story behind it, and they will want to tell you, and they will have a specific person in mind who should get it. Insure that it does when the time comes, and that the person gets the whole story behind the object as well. 5. You need a complete and uptodate list of all their friends and relatives with accurate contact information. When the time comes, you don't want to have to scramble around trying to notify everyone. Have all that information in a database that you can easily access.6. Bottomline: Get as much information from them as possible while they are still alive. Find out all their preferences as to inheritances and the funeral ceremony itself, down to what food to serve. When it happens, someone has to make all these hundreds of decisions quickly, and it will be you. The more you now their preferences, the easier it is for you. Trust me, I"ve been there.
What should I do if my parents have weed?
You shouldn’t do anything. It’s none of your business that your parents smoke weed. If you are of adult age, you can sit down with your parents and have an adult conversation about weed and their use of weed - if you can be non-judgmental about it.If you are a teenager, yet mature enough to address this with your parents, then sit them down and have an adult conversation with them about weed.If your parents pay their bills on time, go to work every day and make sure you have plenty of food to eat and they generally treat you well, then there’s absolutely nothing you should do about the fact that your parents have weed.Weed is safe and harmless, so forget all that nonsense you’ve read about weed that was written by the anti-drug, judgmental, hypocritical crowd.
What should you do when your parents hate you?
RE: "What do you do if your parents hate you?"Leave them behind and move on with your life as best you can.Try not to be overcome by anger and bitterness because that's about as useful as being angry at a storm for destroying your property. Nature is what it is and sometimes, it can be rather ugly. Human nature is no different in many respects because people choose who they become, and who or what they hate.If you have given them reason to hate you, then it is incumbent upon you to make some form of reparation; particularly if you care about the toxic nature of hatred and wish to reverse the harm done to your parents which led to their hatred of you.If you've done nothing to inspire that hatred, then you must accept it as a natural consequence of their own being and their own choices.Before you make any decision however, it is incumbent upon you to objectively assess both conditions to arrive at the most accurately objective conclusion possible, even if it means deep soul-searching and an acceptance of something which may be ugly within yourself.Perhaps you need to change to accommodate their perspectives in order to repair the damage you did or you need to learn to allow them the opportunity to reflect upon the damage they have done to you and hope they reach a conclusion which allows an opportunity for the restoration of a healthy familial relationship.In either case, good luck to you because you will carry your burden for life.
My parents won't listen to me. What should I do?
Boy. Deja Vu. Been there. Lived through that.What do you do? Live for the day you turn 18 and can get the hell out.That’s what I had to do. Just shut my mouth, agree with everything they said (when they noticed me at all), and make plans to get out as soon and as far away as possible. And keep your real thoughts and feelings between you and your closest friend(s). Just…quit trying. It hurts too much. It hurts to be misunderstood (or in my case, laughed at).And find another adult outlet. An adult you can talk to freely who won’t rat you out to your parents (if possible. Some things shouldn’t be kept secret. Like wanting to kill yourself, etc.). That’s what I did, too. We moved to the ‘burbs when I was 17 and the next door neighbors, a young couple with a new baby, “adopted” me and I practically lived at their house for the year before they moved. Saved my sanity.I ended up joining the Navy when I was 19, after trying college for a year and trying to live at home…big mistake. Huge. Should’ve went out of town but didn’t.Best decision I ever made. Just hang in there. It gets better. Really it does. In the meantime, quit trying with them and find someone else to talk to.
I hate my parents so much. What should I do?
This is an exercise that might help you clarify why you hate your parents.Take a big sheet of paper and draw a line vertically down the middle.On the top on the left, write “Pro” and on the right write “Con”On the right column, put down the reasons you hate your parents. On the left side, put down the reasons you love and honor your parents. You have to be HONEST to do this exercise.So you might write on the right sideThey took away my phoneThey won’t let me have a carThey tell me to study all the timeThey don’t like my boyfriend (girlfriend)They make me come home at ten pm and yell if I don’t come in on timeThey lecture me not to use drugsOrMy dad left and my mom married someone else and they love the new baby more than meWhatever your problem is, write it downBUT ON THE LEFTThey give me a place to liveMom made my favorite dinner for my birthdayThey bought me new clothesI got to go to Six Flags with two friends last yearThey pay for my phoneThey drive me places because I’m too young to have a license yetThey take me to the doctor when I don’t feel wellThey help me with my homeworkThey don’t want me to get my girlfriend pregnant because I can’t raise a baby and I don’t want to get married yet at all!They celebrate when I have done something successfulWhatever good they do, you must also write it down.Cross off anything on the list on the right side that is something you would also do for your child if you had one (make sure they do their homework so they don’t grow up ignorant, make sure they come in at a good hour so they can get up for school. Make sure they don’t get addicted to bad drugs. )Leave on the list anything that a parent shouldn’t be doing (not seeing you enough if they live separately, refusing to help you with homework.) And then see if you have a reasonable reason to hate your parents or if you are simply upset that you are working on your independence but they put reasonable limits on you, because you are still underage.
My Wife and my Parents HATE each other. What should I do?
You can't, sadly. Just keep them as far apart as possible. Let your parents know that their animosity toward your wife will keep them from spending time with you, since the two of you are a family now, and you won't see them without her. That should make them tolerate her, at least. And ask her to respect them because they are your parents, and at least be civil. The time this will get complicated is when and if you have kids. Just hang in there. My husband and my parents do not get along so well, but I have made it clear that they will at least TRY for my sake, and for the sake of our daughter. OR, my parents just won't see their grandchild, which is unacceptable to them, so everyone does their best to get along. I really wish you luck. I have been married for 10 years. It does get easier over time.