As a woman, what makes you think of a guy as cute versus handsome?
Thanks for the A2A!Handsome men are hard to find! I have been truly attracted to maybe 3 or 4 men in my lifetime!I like manly features on an intelligent tall man mixed with a kind assertiveness that puts his ethics above his desires, and other people (including me) always on his mind.I generally don’t find baby face attractive, soft chins, or chubby cheeks, or manicured hair and nails. I like a strong chin, large facial features: eyebrows, eyes, nose, and thin muscular stature. I like hair, nails, and hands that say, “I care more about my life and taking care of business than looking pretty”.I like a relaxed, confident gate, and inquisitive gentle eyes. I like an overall quiet demeanor unless something needs to be said.I generally don’t find men who whine about things attractive. I prefer a quiet unwillingness to accept things that can be changed for the better, and a positive “doer” attitude.I find the smell of fresh laundry on a man attractive.Lots of men are “cute”, but nothing is there to make me think twice. And to me, that is what makes a man handsome: if the whole package causes me to step back and evaluate the specimen!
Being a really overweight guy it's hard to think about girls. I feel like I basically get mentally screened out before I even approach a girl. What is that I am missing here?
I'd say one thing you're missing here is the understanding that most guys are mentally screened out by the majority of women. Rejection is the norm, not the exception. You're likely on recieving end of it more often because of your weight, no doubt, but don't scapegoat the entire phenomenon upon that single factor. Luckily, you don't need to attract every girl out there. You don't even need to attract 1% of them. Start with just finding one or two girls who like you.The less impressive your physical presence, the harder you'll have to work to bring your "A-game" to the table immediately and consistently. You need to take the initiative to make sure your first impression is that of an ambitious, strong, worthwhile, charismatic man, who just happens to be on the hefty side. Not only will this make your personality attractive enough that women will be more likely to overlook your weight, it'll also make you twice as appealing to the women who are already turned on by heavyset guys.Weight tends to subliminally signal specific negative connotations ("lazy", "slob", "no self-control") that you have to work hard to counteract. Don't dress, behave, or otherwise present yourself in any way which confirms these unfair stereotypes.I know several grossly overweight guys who are a hit with the ladies, because 1) they are fun to be around, 2) they are always well-put-together and nicely groomed, and 3) they don't make an issue out of their weight.Consider this, as well: there are women out there in the same conundrum as you. I have female friends who are constantly lamenting the fact that they can't get any dates, whether because of their weight, or their complexion, or whatever else. Next time you're at a big party and you feel like all the women are screening you out, think about how many girls YOU are likely screening out. Walk past the Selena Gomez look-alike contest winner that you're too afraid to talk to, and try flirting with her awkward dorky-looking friend for a few minutes, instead.Realize that as far as dating handicaps go, you could have also had worse luck. The silver lining to excess weight is that most people can lose it through any number of methods, if they're really determined. A short guy can't grow eight inches taller through diet and self-control, he has to deal with the hand that fate dealt him. You, on the other hand, have options; don't squander them.