Why does everyone say parenting is hard?
I love being a dad! But all I read everywhere is new parenting styles, don't discipline, do discipline, baby blues. Its sad! I have loved being a dad to a 10 and 6 year old girls (their mama passed giving birth to my youngest). I gotta say that this stuff is EASY! Honestly everyone I know or read about is always complaining about their kids. I wake up early just to make some gormet breakfast for them. And all I really do is take a bit of liberal parenting, a dash of conservative, mix in 4 heaping helpings of love and my life is great. And they aren't wild and crazy, or abused and fearful. They are great! They get up and help each other get ready for school while I make daddys secret pancakes, we go to school and they take turns deciding the music. They perform well at school and get a long with others. After school my oldest gets snacks for her and her sister while I check school work. After that they do homework and I go back and forth helping them out (they never really need it but I want to be involved) dinner is next and they play till dark. Bed and stories and then sleep. Did anyone think they would freak if that was their day? I mean come on! And don't tell me if I think parenting is easy then I'm doing it wrong...I know I'm doing a great job. Seriously I'm raising two girls on my own and my oldest is...developing. and having.....lady problems. Yeah I had to call mom on that last one. But all in all why does everyone complain about parenting? This stuff is easy.
Which is harder? Being a teenager or adult/parent?
Honestly, I think it depends on who you are, where you live, and what surrounds you. But I would say in most cases that it is harder to be a teenager. Basicly because during that time of your life, you are in the middle of finding out who you are and what you want to do with the rest of your life. And with things like school, family, and social lives, sometimes even make it harder. Plus at that age, you have to work hard to build up the skills to earn your employment (depending on what you want to do).I mean some adults are still confused, but most of them have figured themselves out already and know what they want to do in their life. Which I think is basicly what is the main goal in many people's lives during this time. And also, take the fact that the teenagers are usually controlled by the adults. So there is a struggle i power ther. It just seems like more pressure at that point. :/
Does it get harder to deal with complaining parents as you get older?
There are several ways to look at it.On one hand, if you continue to be the kind of person who looks at the parents as ageing grumpy annoying people, then things will get worse: aside from usual complaints, there will be more complaints about things that irritate them (including actual real health concerns).On the other hand, once you realize that you are an adult (and not a child), and once you see that the tables have turned: with you being more of a parental/guardian figure for your parents (instead of them looking over you), then you will see them as struggling to adjust to the ageing process and changing world around them.Effectively, you will become the “parent” and they will become your “dependents”. And then you will see first-hand just how difficult those dependents could be - and if you pay enough attention, you will see that you once were them (a dependent).How do you “deal” with dependents?That’s entirely up to you.You can leave them and not deal with them at all - people get abandoned all the time.You can love them and accept them as they are - they want to be independent, but they are really struggling with that and relying on their children for essentials (aka giving up their independence), so that complaining is the only acting out they can possibly do. Annoying? Yes. Irritating? Yes. Just like all kids are - you were one of those kids in your youth.So, you can approach this with love and gratitude - these people did raise you into an adult you are now, with your positive traits and your faults - and you are standing before them, holding their dignity and their independence in your hands, and deciding what to do with these complaining and irritating humans.Well, you are in charge now. Hope your parents have raised you right to make a decent decision here.
What is the hardest part about being a parent of a developmentally disabled child?
Different families grappling with different forms of disability will have their own answers. The emotional side probably tops the list for most. For example, many, many parents have said birthdays are hardest. Birthdays, supposedly a time of celebration, are a reminder that time is moving along but the child isn't.But the challenge that bothered me most was wanting to understand what disability meant for my son, from HIS perspective. All these worthless doctors and therapists were urging his mom and me to get counseling and find other hobbies and take care of ourselves, and I was pointing out that we were not the patients—he was the one most in need of help. If only it were possible to improve his options in life, that would address the other problems too.Their understanding was that most likely he was NOT going to change and taking care of ourselves had higher priority.That's when the phrase came to me that eventually became the title of my book: What about the boy? What did he think about all this? Did he want us to leave him behind, so to speak?Truly, what did he want??? Aside from being comfortable (in itself not at all a sure thing), what was important to him?That was the hardest part for me.The doctors and therapists actually had some good advice, because in time it became obvious we needed to take care of ourselves.On the other hand, when you sign up to become a parent you take on responsibility for another life. What happens then?