Why do Quiet/Shy people, always get confused with being stuck up?
People like them don't know how to use reasoning to tell the difference between a shy and stuck up person. I'm not very talkative, and I get called stuck up all the time, and I'm not. Loudmouths don't use their head, they use hurtful words to start a fight.
How can I stop being quiet and shy at school and be more confident?
I had the exact same problem at school, and in my opinion, you should focus on being less shy first and be careful about wanting to be less quiet.It really depends if you have things to say and are scared to say them (shyness) or if you are an introvert!It took me a long time to accept that I’m an introvert and a quiet person, but since I did, I’m barely shy anymore.Here’s my suggestion based on my personal experience:Accept to be quietOnce you stop beating yourself up for it your life’s going to be so much easier. I spent years trying to become an extrovert but it just doesn’t make any sense!You can be comfortable around people even if you don’t say very much. Just focus on listening instead of desperately searching for something to say.Tell yourself that others don’t spend as much time thinking about you as you thinkI used to feel like I couldn’t talk to the popular people in school because I wasn’t one of them. Basically I just assumed that more popular kids didn’t like me.But the truth is, they don’t spend much time thinking about you. In my last years of school, I noticed that I could totally be friends with more popular people and that they had nothing against me! My shyness was just keeping me from trying.Focus on the advantages of being quietExtroverts actually like talking to quiet people because we listen. All my friends are extroverts and it just creates a good dynamic!So focus on listening to people and showing interest in what they’re saying. Don’t be scared to talk to extroverts - just listen instead of trying to make a good impression.Ask questionsIn my opinion, questions are by far the easiest form of communication and they’re even easier if you genuinely listen to what people say. So instead of trying to talk about you, ask questions!Like I said before, people usually appreciate if you show interest in them.I hope this helps! You can read about my experience here if you want.
When a quiet, shy person finally opens up to you, what do you discover?
For some reason, shy quiet people, especially females, are quick to open up to me. What do I discover? Usually several things: 1. Those quiet people are often profound thinkers. While other people are talking and socializing, they're thinking. They usually excel at abstract thought and have detailed ideas about life and the world. Sometimes that thoughtfulness is compromised by a lack of communication skills. 2. Shy people usually don't say much or socialize much because they don't think they'll be understood and accepted. Oftentimes, they don't feel heard by the people in their lives. And when a true listener does come along, they can really talk your ear off and attach quickly. 3. Shy people often exaggerate the difference between themselves and others. They assume they are weird and don't realize how similar they are to many people. 4. There are two basic types of shy people: those who wish to be more sociable but feel unable to do so, and those who are content as solitary creatures. 5. Shy girls often make loyal girlfriends. Perhaps that is due to their isolated lifestyle or a lack confidence that they can find someone else. 6. Sexually, I've found that shy girls usually like to take it slow at first and rely on the guy to get things started. They rarely initiate but are submissive and compliant.
I'm 13 and I need help with CONFIDENCE?
I'm 13, almost 14, and I'm going to start high school later on this year so I need help with being really confident and social. I can be ridiculously shy sometimes. But I DEFINITELY have this really loud personality underneath it all. I don't act shy at all with my friends. But I'm really quiet around a lot of people in my class that I don't know well..like the guys. I'm also really insecure. Also, I can tell that I'm getting less and less shy with time..but I need to be outgoing, like NOW. lol.. I want to be extremely outgoing and cocky..Like I'm so ready to step outside of my comfort zone and just be !!!!!!! How do I do this? What are things I can do to force myself to be outgoing?
Why do people see quiet/kind people as weak? they say whatever they want to say to quiet people.?
I Completely understand where your coming from. In fact that was me 2-3years back. Now i am outgoing,funny and respected by literally everybody i know, the key for me was to definately still respect the person and never get loud or mean with anybody. Control it, and if they ask you to do something and you don't want to do it tell them in a manner so that they understand why not like so -"nah man, you always have me get you stuff, no offense but i get annoyed by it you know? can't you just get it yourself bro?" & Try to be a little more talkative ya know? when somebody is quiet constantly others tend to think "oh i can say anything i want and they won't say anything back so they're weak" or something similar to that, if they make a joke about you and it was completely disrespectful or just made them look like a tool, first tell that person that you found that joke not humorous at all, in fact it hurts your feelings/self of steem, if that doesn't work then next time it happens call him/her out on it right there in front of everybody tell em "that wasn't funny at all, and if you are trying to make a joke out of another person then that's pathetic, and i'm sure i'm not the only person who doesn't like immature jokes like that." something like that, anymore questions just message me,i'd be happy to help, hope this helped!
People think I am weird and avoid me because I am quiet and avoid small talk. I have tried my whole life to change this, but it seems that I am just a born introvert. How can I change, and should I change?
Hi. I am an introvert myself. So much so that I get minute panic attacks in my head and heart when I have to meet new people. And through a major part of my life I tried to change it. I even went to a counsellor for this. And it is very dissatisfying because this is a part of you and you can't change it. So it used to make me feel even worse, incomplete and less wanted.It is only recently I started accepting who I am. Being an introvert we have the gift of having more meaningful conversations. And believe me I have made some truly amazing gem of friends. I may not be a social butterfly but I know that each and every friend in my life is someone I can trust with all my secrets and sorrows. I can be completely helpless in front of them and the only thing they will do is help me out. When they go through troubles they come to me and not one of their social butterflies. I not saying extroverts are bad. They are brilliant people too.In fact a lot of my friends are extroverts.It is more about being at ease with yourself and your awkwardness. Accept it and believe me it is not just theoretical. You can really try it. Acceptance of introversion will really help you deal with this.You can always inbox me in case you need any help. :))
Is it normal that I'm quiet and barely talk when I'm around people?
Introverts get a bum rap--usually from themselves. While it appears like "everyone has an easier time socializing..." this is frequently untrue. Extroverts are great at superficial connection; you (I'm assuming) would rather not have vapid, insincere conversations. Still, you have the same basic, human need to connect.Here's what you can do: don't change. Instead, reassess your perceptions of "normal." Read up on multiple intelligences, a notion first introduced to the masses by Howard Gardner, and take note that "interpersonal intelligence" runs alongside "interpersonal" intelligence. To be so open and vulnerable to many is a liability, especially when you don't have common ground with this number of people. Don't sweat whether you can't talk at length with people...keep watching, keep thinking, and connect in contexts where you and people around you are more of a mind (or disposition) together. And be patient, friend. What you see happening around you and the sense of social urgency you feel are only perceptions, not realities. If you don't have a meditation practice--just a breathing, let-your-mind-run-and-WATCH-where-it-goes, observational practice--start one. If being an "intranaut" is your wheelhouse, meditation can help you see how your own thoughts...I repeat, "thoughts"...sneakily trick you into believing they are realities (like, you are a social misfit, which is BS).Plus, people will be grateful that you have gone where they fear to go. Much of the social interaction you covet(?) is motivated less by love than fear. Be true to you, inner-space monkey! Boldly go where few dare. You have a gift of your own. Use it, bless it, and let your social acumen be based on the authentic you, not the mere self-perception...especially at the age of 19. At least you're reaching out at age 19 to get some encouragement. You'll probably need to ask it again. Don't sweat that either; we grow in cycles, too.
How can you tell a person is shy?
I'm shy. I smile a lot, everyone says I have a cute smile. I blush. I look away when I speak. Or after I speak, I quickly look away. I play with my fingers. Bit my lip. Sometimes my hands shake. I don't say much. Sometimes I don't say anything until after someone pushes me to say something. It's as if I can't find my voice sometimes. I get scared of speaking up and my hands become cold. I speak too quiet, I have a soft voice, and everyone always tells me to speak up... I love to say, "I don't know." And I look away when someone is trying to talk to me. Or I let my hair fall in my face or cover my face with my hand or book. I like being alone. Sometimes I disapear and my friends can't find me back. I just find a quiet place to be by myself. I love sitting with my knees up and resting my head on my knees. I grew up in an abusive environment. I don't like people close to me... because I become afraid. I become afraid because of my past.