Why do people say "our thoughts and prayers are with them " when everyone knows they do not give a damn?
We really cannot say that they don’t give a damn. How can you tell a person’s inner thoughts? How can you attribute intention to everyone? It is rather presumptuous of you to say that people do not give a damn, as if you know them through and through.I will turn it around and ask you - what do you say to someone who went through a tragedy? What can you say to comfort a suffering person?Granted that saying “thoughts and prayers are with you” is cliched, so that it doesn’t sound sincere. But very often we feel helpless and don’t know what to say, even if we may have gone through a similar ordeal. Words are not enough to heal the wounds, but for some, to know that you’ve tried to at least say something is enough, even though it’s not likely they’ll be praying for us.Now if you’re referring to heads of state saying this for victims of a recent tragedy, all I can say is that as politicians they should say something less overdone. At the same time, high officials can not satisfy everybody. By their very office, people expect them to do something, rather than pass a few words, no matter how eloquent. At the very least, though: they ought to try saying something that sounds heartfelt. This is not in defence of anyone. Rather, I’d not attack others for how they express their condolences, as this is tricky and no one wins. It’s rather nasty to assume that others don’t give a damn. At the least, they’re guilty of lack of creativity in coming up with good words.
Why would my boyfriend say that he thought he was taking up too much of my time and said absence makes the heart grow fonder?
Hmmm. Is this the first time this has happened? Without knowing your boyfriend, your relationship dynamics or past history, it’s difficult to even take a possible guess. No one can tell you for sure, but the truth usually comes out in the end. Since it could be any number of things, my recommendation would be to simply agree with him that maybe some time apart would be a good idea for you both and then go enjoy time with your friends, exploring hobbies, family, and even getting to know yourself better. I might also suggest to make sure you avoid any appearance of being needy or clingy (i.e. don’t text or call him a lot, but don’t be cold either). Give him the space he is asking for right now without putting your own life on hold and allow him time to miss you. The answer to your question will come with time.
Are you punished for your thoughts in Islam?
SAHIH INTERNATIONAL Quran Chapter 49 Verse 12O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin. And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.One should change His thoughts as soon as possible otherwise Yes it can become a Sin. Bad thoughts are from Satan and The person having bad thoughts should divert His/Her thoughts immediately.Bad thoughts alone do not render a person outside of Islam. Many times people get bad thoughts of kufr/shirk, which is not sinful and by no means entails disbelief, as the person doesn’t actually hold those thoughts to be true. However, the devil will play tricks on the person and make him think that perhaps he willingly and intentionally held those thoughts, which he did not. And again, thoughts of such denial do not entail kufr; rather, kufr results only when the thoughts are accepted in the heart as true and transformed willingly into concrete beliefs.Al-Bukhaari (6491) and Muslim (131) narrated from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said, relating from his Lord, may He be glorified and exalted: “Allah decreed good deeds and bad deeds, then He explained that. Whoever thinks of doing a good deed then does not do it, Allah will write it down as one complete good deed. If he thinks of doing a good deed and then does it, Allah [may He be glorified and exalted] will write it down between ten and seven hundred fold, or many more. If he thinks of doing a bad deed then he does not do it, Allah will write it down as one complete good deed, and if he thinks of it then does it, Allah will write it down as one bad deed.”Al-Bukhaari (5269) and Muslim (127) also narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, will forgive my ummah for whatever crosses their minds so long as they do not act upon it or speak of it.”So do not persist in such thoughts and you are ok. Always Seek refuge in Allah Most High, by saying, A’udhu bi Llahi min ash-shaytani r-rajim [Bukhari, Muslim]; and recite Ayat al-Kursi, as well as the last three surahs (Ikhlas, Falaq, Nas).Assalaam O Alaikum.
Why do guys like the thought of taking a girl's virginity?
I feel they take it as a "conquest" that they were your very first. I believe the majority of them don't even really care that much about the girl, just the fact they more or less were the "winner" & were able to "talk you" into it in whatever way they could/did! I was young, never really dated anyone but the one person I love & did end up marrying. He also was my first! And I would say a yes to a girl in college being a virgin is being like gold! No, you are NOT silly in the least. You have your head on straight & just keep it that way too. I say good for you & the standards you set & held for yourself this long if you've dated in the past which I'm sure you've done. Never feel ashamed because you happen to be a good person with high moral standards! Keep up the good work, it WILL be well worth it one day...the best to you...:)
Why people say "take him a bath"?
At first I thought it was just my in-laws and their brood. Then I experienced other Hispanics (not to be rude but it's only been Hispanics) using "take" or "took" someone a bath rather than "give" or "gave" someone a bath. Is it a Hispanic thing or a lack of education in general?
Intrusive thoughts! feel suicidal?
The only true way you will be able to deal with it and understand it is if you do go to a professional. It doesn't make you a bad person, especially since you realize that it may be wrong. But leaving it untreated could possibly cost you ur life, as you sound very disturbed by this. These people have a privacy policy and they've probably heard the worst of the worst. They wouldn't hold blame to you. It may be hard for you to talk to someone, just make sure u don't settle for just "anyone." If you feel uncomfortable about them or don't like them, find someone else. I had to go through MANY psychiatrists/psychologists before finding 2 people that I absolutely adored and loved. And they've changed my whole life. Maybe explaining to them that it's difficult to say/talk about and maybe you can write it down for them. They could even read it after u leave a session, to better prepare you for next time. But, if you want to get to the bottom of it, I think you should truly talk to a professional you can learn to trust and be comfortable talking to. Good Luck and Take Care!
Do evil thoughts make you a bad person if you don't act on them?
Everybody is right from his perspectiveI feel that everybody is right from his perspective atleast at the time of his action. even a murderer feels that he has killed because of some genuine reason. so he might be bad from others point of view but he has justification for his crime. He may realize his crime later on which is a different thing.Repititive Bad action definitely makes us a person bad.If a person is sure that his thoughts are not right and he doesn’t act on them then he is not a bad person. Acting once on them also doesn't makes him bad because there might be some situations & people who have influenced him to do so.But regular doing of that act definitely makes him bad and he gets entrapped in a vicious cycle and addiction too. If we do something wrong unknowingly then it doesn’t makes us a bad a person. But doing even right thing with wrong intentions makes us bad.Dont label anybody as good or bad.We should also accept the fact that nobody is 100% good or 100% bad. We all are humans with unique combination of Strengths & weaknesses. Most of us are perfectly normal with a set of strengths and flaws. Secondly the definition of Virtue & evil is very subjective and it varies from person to person, from society to religion, from country to age etc.Comparison of mind and unused land.Lets compare our mind with a piece of land. If a land is unused then the weeds naturally grows on it. We first need to wipe out them and plant useful flowers, trees etc. later on. Now we need to water them, nurture them, use pesticides etc to get the flowers and fruits.Similarly evil & negative thoughts comes naturally to all. If we don’t do anything then it will keep on growing. So we need to control and wipe them out with meditation, prayer, discipline, exercise, good company etc. Now we should feed our mind with positive thoughts, motivational videos, good books etc.
Why am I in love? He hurts me. Why do I still love him?
I think you have enough answers. But I think it some where relates to me.I am in love with a girl since 2011. We were classmates during our graduation. Love happened and blah, blah, blah. I don't want to narrate that story. In short, we had plan for the lifetime. Later I came very far for my master's degree. She told me she will be waiting for me.After 1 year, she broke up with me. Reason was same as yours. She told me that I don't talk to her very much. She wanted me to share my college life with her. On this ground she broke up with me.She never tried to understand my side of story. I was working here hardly just to get a better life for her. After having a long tiring day, what I always need was her. I wanted to listen her chatters. Instead she started to blame me that I was sharing nothing with her. She started investigating for my new girlfriend ( she thought, I have another). And finally she broke up with me saying that she has no more feelings left for me.But she could never understood that I never stopped loving her. Neither I had or have any other girlfriend than her. And for God's sake, please someone tell me that what does a person has to share, who has only assignments and test throughout the day.Please don't judge one sided.He may have not been getting time just because he is working hard to get a good future with you. Try to understand him too.When my girl left me, I found that she moved on with a new relationship. But I am still unable to get out of her.All I did to get with her through lifetime, but all I got that she left me when I needed her most. After that my performance decreased. I was left with absolutely nothing.It is easy for girls to move on. But not for us. We make a target in life and sacrifice everything to it. And then find that target has moved on.But girls stays in a relationship till they need someone to talk with. Like an emotional puppet. They decide only on how much a guy talks to him.They never see that, in a day with 25 working hours, how he managed to find out moments to just hear her voice. Yes it is 25.All the girl used to see that, he doesn't have the time to talk.He is in abroad because he will get a better life after his studies. If you are expecting a future with 10x luxury, you need to work 20x in present. It's all he might be doing there.But believe me, it is hard to understand for a stupid Indian girl like you.
Why does it take 20 minutes for him to reply to EVERY text?
So guys don't talk to me a lot, but this one guy got my name and number from my friend's boyfriend. He texted saying he thought I was cute and we started texting more. But he takes anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour to reply. He usually texts first and his messages make him sound interested, not all deep but funny, but he takes forever to text. He got my number a week ago and he's done it every time we've texted. Why is that? Is he not as interested as I thought?