Why do I feel like an outsider?
First of all, with friends like these, you sure didn't need any enemies!!! People who say they're "friends", and then turn around and call you every name but a good gal, and constantly put you down, are pathetic in my books. They aren't even worth a second glance much less talking to them. I'm sorry for the loss of your father to this horrible illness, and the other problems you've had to deal with. Friends who drag you down along with them are nowhere near to being a true friend. And believe me, once you find ONE good friend who won't turn on you in your life, then you have it made. I'm fortunate to have a friend like this. I can't trust alot of my other friends like I can her. You ditched some friends because you knew they were phony. And birds of a feather flock together, but you weren't one of them and you knew it. You seem like someone who has a very good head on her shoulders. But, one friend of mine who comes above all others, is God himself. When other people told me where to go and stay put, God was always faithful and still is. I can always count on him. I have a hard time trusting people too, and I asked him to protect and guide me from the evil forces I deal with at work and outside of it, and he has. It's good to forgive, but that doesn't mean you are obligated to have them in your life. Just pray for them, that someday they might see what they are doing and realize that it's wrong. That's all you can do. And you are doing right not to sink to their level. I left it up to God, he says he'll repay those who deserve it, and it won't be pretty!!! You feel like I do, like you don't fit in the world. I definitely feel that way because I'm NOT of the world, I'm one of God's people, and the rest of the world doesn't know him, and doesn't WANT to know him. Don't lose your faith. God loves you. He wouldn't have sent Christ for us if he didn't. You definitely have my vote too!!! You'll be fine. Just ask for guidance to find the right friends, and you will. The people you dismissed in your life were baggage you didn't need or deserve. Eventually things will come. I'm older and still haven't found the right guy. But I know that if I wait for God's guidance this time, I may just hit paydirt down the road if it's his will.
I feel like an outsider at school?
I live in a very small town where everyone knows everything about everybody. You can't keep any secrets. But that's not the problem. The problem is that at school I feel like I don't fit in with anyone. I'm not really a talkative person and I don't open up to just anyone. I'm also frowning a lot and I don't realize it. I'm stereotyped as emo or goth because of this, despite the fact that I don't cut myself and I don't wear black a lot. I'm not a people person and that's just how I am. I still want friends, but even my old friends I've known for ever are starting to push me away, and I don't understand why. I'm really getting depressed and I don't know what to do. I feel like giving up on people all together. What do I do?
Ever felt like an outsider?
I was like that too. Everyone called me a radical. Ive never felt right in society, and always felt out of place. But like you I started to enjoy it. Unlike everyone else- I dont really give a crap about what others think, and theres a lot of freedom in that.