Culturally speaking why do some parents let kids do whatever they want?
I was at Target and there was this bratty kid no older than six with crimpy hair, pink highlights, jeggings, and DC sneakers who kept whining to her elder father (I assumed it was her dad.) I was in the music section and I heard her crying from the toy section for some bratz doll. The dad was like, "Molly, you can get it if you just be quiet dear!" I was like what in the world? Then later they were in the video game section and she was crying for Dead Space 2.... Dead Space 2 is rated M. Why is a little kid allowed to play that game? This time he said "You can get it later you already have dead space 1 and your other games." At that point I just had to leave the area because that was just weird and I couldn't believe no one else witnessed that. I think parents are getting softer and less strict on kids these days from what I see.
Can you handcuff a child as punishment?
I'm not looking to do this to my child. I was reading an article about a young girl being handcuffed because she was having a tantrum and it was said that she was restrained for her own safety. I was just wondering if it was legal to do such a thing. Like, if you put your child in timeout and they refuse to comply, can you handcuff them?
Does God hate me? I cry myself to sleep?
I pray every night. Every night I pray to have a stable life, a happy life, a safe life. My parents hate each other. They HATE each other. They yell and they yell and they yell. I just want to scream in their faces to shut up and sleep. They fight about the stupidest things. My mom didn't get the right beer, my mom didn't get the right sauce, nag nag nag. My mother cries and cries, but my dad doesn't care because he is too drunk. I hide in my room right after I eat. I usually listen to them argue and then I sleep. By sleep I mean cry. God has left me. He has not helped me in anyway. Some nights I don't care and laugh at their stupid bickering, and others I break down and cry silently. I hate it. I want to scream. Once I almost killed my father. I came into his room with his favorite knife. I was about to do it but he woke up and I had to hide under his bed for the rest of the night. I stayed up sobbing. I don't know why I continue to pray, it's obvious that either God doesn't exist or God straight up hates me. At school I hide behind laughter to cover up how I actually feel. My heart screams for them to stop, but my mouth remains closed. I am a coward, and a fool. No one cares. My parents say they do, but the crap they've put me through says something different. When my mom is composed and I try and tell her this she lashes out and says that they love me and I am just being ungrateful. I am so grateful. I shouldn't be complaining, but I already feel like I've lost my sanity. I laugh at horrific things, I never say what I want to do, I never have acted like a normal child, I have never felt truly loved. My ears are crapping out on me, but no one seems to care. Why does God hate me? Why does life hate me? Why can't I just say what I want instead of pulling this stupid facade?
What do you think of the "cry it out" or Ferber philosophy of sleep training?
When my husband and I were new parents, the idea of letting our baby cry seemed absolutely cruel. Within moments of hearing that spine-tingling screech, we were making our best efforts to comfort our tiny little creature...often without success.Then, a four year-old boy taught me a lesson:My husband and I had invited our neighbor's children to sleep-over so that their parents could celebrate their wedding anniversary. At the time, one of their sons was having problems with bed-wetting, so I made it a point to wake him up halfway through the night to make him go to the bathroom. When I pulled him up out of the bed, he started desperately crying--not unlike my new baby. Even after he finished in the bathroom and laid back down in bed, the tears kept coming and I couldn't console him."Aiden! It's me, Danielle! You're at my house. Everything's Ok!" "I know!""Were you having a nightmare?" "No!""Are you hungry? Thirsty? Cold?" "No!""Then why in the Sam Hill are you crying?!" "I'm sleepy! You're keeping me awake!"Total. Epiphany. Kids cry when they are sleepy. I knew that. Everyone knows that! What I hadn't considered was that my efforts to soothe my newborn might actually be keeping him up.My revelation led to a new naptime policy: if my son's "baby checklist" was all checked-off, I left him alone for ten minutes after putting him down--even if he was crying. This gave him a chance to fall asleep when that's what he really needed. The crying rarely lasted longer than a few minutes, and if it did, then I intervened. I did the same with his younger sister, and I still do the same now that they are both toddlers.Child abuse? Really?I can't even understand how this could be considered even remotely unreasonable...let alone abusive.