Why is it so hard to be outgoing and loud?
I'm a shy person, but not EXTREMELY shy. I've been shy all my life.. Its easy to talk to someone when introduced to someone new, or opening the door when they ring the doorbell at my house for me, but its sometimes hard to approach them randomly, even when I try this i get this feeling inside that holds me back. I have no problem with talking to someone doe. I'm an extrovert. On the internet i'm outgoing and able to talk to someone randomly, I have no problem about it at all.. but in person i'm quite shy.. I'm also not shy at all around my friends, my boyfriend and family. My moms friend thought I was so outgoing and think I should try out cheerleading, because of my bubbly and funny personality ( as she described it ). I always get that feeling inside holding me back when i'm shy when I try to approach random people in person, and I hate it. I wish I was more outgoing, how can I overcome this? :/
Why is being outgoing so hard for me?
Im 18 in college. I was always introverted as a kid and teenager. I would try to talk but people would ignore me. Tell a joke and no one would listen ( sometimes someone would say the samething and people would laugh and we said it the same way 0.o). Ive been trying to talk to a girl who is way more outgoing than i am. She says hi to me everytime she sees me but i think its a act of kindness. I want to do more things but if i go to a party by myself i get bored and lonely. The people i do know never invite me to anything and i feel like a thrid wheel. Why am i like this? College was supposed to be different but no matter what i do. Things never change. ive been thinking maybe im supposed to be this way, quiet, loner, but thats no life for anyone. ive never had a girlfriend, and i thought maybe a relationship would help. Any suggessions or advice?
Why are some people more outgoing than others ?
well basically you see.... some people suck, and some people don't. the introverts are liberals you see. so, if they want real change... to be outgoing... they at least need to become an independent
Why is it so hard for me to make friends no matter how nice outgoing and friendly I am is it something wrong with me?
Thanks for the Ask-to-Answer.The problem isn’t all your fault. It’s who you’re hanging around with. If you truly value yourself you don’t need other people’s approval or friendship. If people don’t see the value you offer, find other people. The problem is, too many of us don’t truly believe we’re great. If we have good boundaries and recognize our value we leave the instant people don’t value us and seek out those who do.Ask yourself why you need to have people who obviously don’t value you get to know you. They don’t respect you. If you respect yourself you’ll stop trying to get them to like you.I’m nice, outgoing and friendly too. There are people who treat me poorly (usually just once) and don’t get a chance to see how great I am, but that’s their loss. Others find me very special and treat me that way.Stop looking for other people to validate and value you. Create, communicate and enforce personal boundaries that tell people you respect yourself and only surround yourself with people who do likewise.It’s never been easy for you because you don’t have healthy boundaries and you don’t love and respect yourself as much as you think you do. Find a good therapist or counselor who can walk through this process with you and teach you some basic skills. The cost is an investment you’ll never regret. Read everything you can get your hands on about personal boundaries and start setting them. We teach people HOW to treat us by the way we treat ourselves. Obviously they see something in you that tells them you don’t respect yourself. Hanging around jerks who don’t respect us is a loud signal that we don’t respect ourselves. Good luck and start respecting yourself enough to ignore those who don’t.
Why is it so hard to make Eye Contact?
Hello there! Thanks for taking the time to read this: This has been going on for some time now, but lately it's been really bugging me. I'm a really social and outgoing person; I'm loud and talkative, but when I talk to people (conversations last from half an hour to 5 hours if there are no interruptions) I can't seem to look them in the eye or face while doing so. This applies to all my family members, friends (close and aquaintances) and teachers. I'm so self-conscious about it; I recently timed how many seconds I could hold my stare on my friend's face while she and I were talking. I didn't even last 5 seconds, and I'm worried it's making me look shifty and suspicious. I'm a really honest person and I'd hate to give the impression that what I say is a lie or anything close to that. When I tell stupid stories about my childhood or what happened last weekend, my eyes always seem to look around the place. I first look to the top right, and then straight down, back up, to the left, etc. I can't seem to keep my eyes on them, and I know it's really rude, since good eye contact implies that you're listening when someone is speaking. Is this a personality thing? Despite being outgoing and social, I'm also a little bit of an introvert. But, I'm not scared or intimidated (at least, I don't think so) by my friends/teachers who I have this problem with. All my other friends don't seem to have this problem - they look at me while I'm talking, and I stare at something else after a quick glance to their eyes. Does anyone know how to help me? I was searching for someone else in this forum that might've posted up a topic similar to this, but the majority here who have "difficulty with eye contact" are mainly wondering about the opposite gender. None of that lovelife stuff can really relate to me. Looking for advice, tips, anything that might help. And someone please tell me if this is in the wrong category forum. I'll post it somewhere else, asap. Thanks in advance!
I’m 24 years old and I’ve realized that I am not a very outgoing person. It’s hard for me to make friends. How can I overcome this?
I don't understand why we need friends or anyone for that matter. As long as you are comfortable with yourself and love yourself I don't see the need. And moreover no one sticks around. Everybody leaves one day. And that pain of getting over them is really overwhelming. It takes a lot out of you. And the time lost in this process is really not worth losing. So be happy with yourself. Keep your circle limited with only the people who truly love you.More the number of people around you, more the shit you have to go through.Peace!
How does one become more outgoing?
I'd back Eddie's comments about having specific goals and setting clear manageable tasks. To those I would add the following:Become an observer of outgoing people - watch what they do and how they do it. Don't try to copy them but work out which bits of their behaviour you can adopt without too much discomfort.Focus on asking questions (especially open questions) rather than making statements, when you talk to people. That way you can do the listening while they do the talking.Become interested in people - the more you find people fascinating the harder it will be to hold back from asking them questions. People like it when you are interested in them.Develop a broad range of interests - it's good to know a little bit about a lot of things so that you can start conversations.Don't be afraid to admit ignorance - saying 'I don't know much about that, could you tell me more is a great way to get someone talking.'
I try to be outgoing, but I find it hard to socialise and talk to people/hang out. What can I do?
I’ll tell you a story. I was once in a subway, waiting for train and there was this guy, 17–18 years old. He was trying to initiate a conversation with random people, mostly girls, but not only. I wasn’t in a hurry so I decided to spy on him a bit. He was rejected hundred times by girls in all possible ways and couldn’t initiate dialog longer than several phrases with anyone else. But there was one granny he talked to for almost 5 mins and when she left, I saw him smiling.I was so curious, I stood there for almost one hour and figured out his behavior pattern. Before any approach, he was preparing himself for at least 2–3 minutes. He talked to himself, played out several variations of the dialog. It was quite creepy :)) Finally he noticed me as he came by, gave me a compliment, very awkwardly. I could feel him shivering, that’s how nervous he was. Absolutely not my type and I would usually thank and find some reason to end conversation, as all other girls did. But instead I smiled and just started to talk to him, told him about the open air concert I was going to that he hasn’t heard about, gave him some recommendations about the events in town, tried to make the conversation to go easily, not forced and after some time he was mumbling and shivering much less. So I asked him what was this subway hunt all about and he told me about this upcoming university interview and how afraid he was that he will not be able to pass it because of his social anxiety. He decided to practice as much as he can in some random place with random people. We talked for 15–20 minutes, I wished him luck and went away. I have no idea what happened to him, but he was calm and was able to normally express his thoughts by the time I left, so I’m pretty sure he did well :)So, my advice would be - just do it. Go out and talk to people. Make mistakes, get embarrassed, but keep trying. I know, it sounds cliche, but that guy didn’t seem like cliche for me :)
My wifes sister flirts with me even in front of her. she is outgoing so it's hard to tell if shes playing.
Because the sister is so outgoing its hard to tell if shes just being her or really flirting. Even in front of my wife/her sister. My wife usually laughs it off but otherwise hasnt said anything. I honestly like the attention. should I stop it or let it go?