What do I do about over affectionate husband and our son?
My son is 14 and he thinks his father hugs him too much. We call it force hugs. Force hug is when my son says I don't want one he grabs him anyways, he pulls away and he forcefully holds him until he lets him. When he was little it was fine to the kid, now that he is older he doesn't like it. He's a young man and the close guy hug thing isn't manly. If he doesn't give him a hug or is being a teen and he doesn't want one, my hubby would take it like a slap in the face and say something to him that usually hurts his feelings. I tell him it hurts his feeling, he doesn't see it. He says I didn't do anything, I was only stating a fact. he says he was abused as a child and his father never hugged him, so we should just take it. We do and it turns into another immediately, and my son is teen busy (video games or talking online ect..) and he says I don't want one he does it anyway. My son thinks his dad doesn't care about what he wants. He always come to me afterward and say "If I don't want a hug, he gets mad at me" He then becomes afraid to leave the room because his dad would say something sarcastic to him for coming to me about it when I'm not looking. My husband is hard to get along with and when things don't go his way or we don't react the way he wants, he says things like we don't love him and he's unappreciated to our kid and this is hurting him because he loves his dad and didn't want to upset him. What do I do?
Daddy/ Daughter affection........?
i think its wonderful that you hubby shows so much affection to your daughter. i was really close with my dad until my mum and i moved to this country when i was 6. i used to have baths with him, he used to wash my hair and taught me how to keep the bubbles out of my eyes. i used to fall asleep on his lap at night time with him rubbing my cheek to put me to sleep. none of this was of a sexual nature just a father and daughter bonding and spending time together, and i loved my dad to death. but having said this, if you think your hubby is interested in her in a sexual way then you should definitely be concerned. I'm guessing you bathe and cuddle your 4 yr old boy, and that's ok with you. id like to say your being over protective but at the same time no one here knows the situation so we cant tell you nothings going on, but at the same time i don't want to accuse anyone of anything either. maybe have a chat with your hubby and tell him your fears, and worries and hope it's just your imagination and nothing more, i wish you and your children all the best and i hope everything is ok
My boyfriends mother is to affectionate towards him and he's 21.?
its Hard situation to deal with but you're not alonealot of mothers like to be the woman on the pedastool to their son they think they know him better and at one stage they did. Your partner wont do anything about it because its his mum and he probably grew up being affectionate and to not be ashamed to show love and affection to his family, Did you grow up kie this? Im 24 and i am affectionate like that with my family and my partners family so as for that part you'll need to get use to it or start being like that with his mum everytime she does it to him to let her know you're there too. As for the treating him like a child this does sound warning bells for me because if he lets her do it it means he likes it and is ok with being her dependant still and might expect you to treat him the same way. Unfortunately there is not much you can do he has to realise for himself that the apron strings need to be cut and you can either be patient and wait(he might never realise) or push him into it which might break you up. Its hard i know ive been there!
Help- My husband is different after baby born...?
That is so sad! Maybe he is having a hard time adjusting to being a daddy, and he is taking the pressure out on you. Maybe he's jelous that your attention is now split between him and the baby. I'm sure it has nothing to do with your weight, or else he is a pig! (but it sounds like you've gotten your body back in shape, congrats for that). Sometimes with men, you just gotta be REALLY direct, because that is all they understand. Just wait until the baby is sleeping or something, and you two have time alone and just be like "Listen, you have been acting very distant since our son was born, and you need to explain your behavior". Don't give him any room for "I'm tired"- tell him you are not an idiot and you notice his behavior, and it's more than just being tired. Tell him he needs to talk to you about this for the relationship to work. If he needs time, give him a few days maybe to get the balls to come clean with it. If he is still having trouble talking to you, maybe marriage conseling would help. Maybe try making more time for the two of you, to do things you used to do. When it gets to the point that the baby can be left with someone else, get a babysitter for a few hours and do something fun! Hopefully, once the stresses of a newborn have sunk in a little, his behavior will go back to normal. I wish you the best of luck, I am so sorry for what you are going through- just focus on that beautiful baby of yours.
Why do fathers love daughters more and hate their sons? Why are they tough on their sons and caring to their daughters?
I have all sons and no daughters, so I can’t speak from first hand experience, but I have friends that have daughters and we have discussed this topic. In most cases, we as men, understand how hard life is and we treat our sons harshly because we only want the best for them and we want them to succeed and we believe that by being hard on them, it will make their life better.The reason that fathers are so supportive of their daughters is that they know how hard life is going to be on them and they focus on giving them the love and support that they need in order to have their daughters develop a better sense of what types of guys they want to meet and marry who will also treat them as well as their Dad does.
Is it normal that my husband still allows our 14 year old daughter to sit on his lap?
This is a question that has many nuances and a lot of baggage that comes along with it.When I was growing up, my brother and I sat on my dad’s lap, but it wasn’t a clingy thing…just when we were goofing around being silly. There was absolutely nothing “sexual” about it on either side and I swear that if someone had suggested that it was inappropriate, all of us would have been flabbergasted. I’d like to point out that we sat on my mom’s lap from time to time, as well. All of that stopped when we got too big and heavy for them, but it was a joke at that point. We’d sit on their laps just to get pushed off. We were just that sort of family.Still, things have changed, society has changed and neither kids nor parents are as innocent as they once were.Is is normal for her to sit on his lap? That all depends on their relationship. What makes you think that it isn’t? Is your mother radar picking up on something, or are you simply watching too much reality TV, which is rife with fathers who have been or are being inappropriate with their daughters (or sons!)If it’s the latter, then you should take a deep breath and understand that MOST men do not molest kids. Good fathers have strong bonds with their daughters all the time without there being anything abnormal or questionable about their behavior or intentions.If, however, you don’t watch that sort of thing and aren’t glued to the news, yet you still have a sick feeling in your gut, go with your gut. There’s no better gauge as to how inappropriate it is than your intuition, unless it’s concrete knowledge of misdeeds.I hope this helps.
How can I try to be more affectionate to my kids when I'm not really an affectionate kind of person?
Raised by a mother with NPD, … I totally get you.In fact, I didn't have kids until my 30's because I was afraid!!!, … due to my childhood. Afraid that I wouldn't know how to be a good mom because I had no mother to use as an example. Afraid that I would screw with my kids' heads the way she did with mine. Afraid to repeat the pattern of abuse. Afraid I just wasn't fit, or good enough.Years of being afraid and convincing myself of all the reasons I shouldn't — gave way to my love of all kids and fate.Shortly after having my first son and fighting through what I believed at the time to be postpartum depression, … the real root of the fear struck me like a mac truck.This little critter was the love of my life, …. I had never experienced love so whole and unconditional , …What if he didn't love me?, What if I was not worthy of his love?Having learned to equate love with some fairly tragic outcomes had left me afraid to love wholly.But guess what? … just as you, I couldn't help but continue to love him more every second.Let go of your fear to love. Let go of fear that you're not good enough (I doubt you would post your question if these weren't quietly chewing on you).Affection is not a personality trait you are born with. It is a learned habit. Habits are made, … so trust me, you can do it. It is the best and easiest habit you will ever get hooked on.So try the drug once today, twice tomorrow, three the next. Before you even realize it, it will be a habit that you share with your kids. There won't be any going back.You love your kids with all your heart. You are their perfect mother. You deserve all the love that you give that will come back to you in spades.You are safe now. Safe to love. Let go of the fear.
Why does the father loves his daughter more than his son?
A2A.Why does the father loves his daughter more than his son?Today early morning I read one story in Facebook. Let me explain you..!!One day a Pregnant lady asks to her Husband - "Dear, I am going to have our baby in two months, aren't you excited?"Husband - "Of course! A lot sweetheart, I can't wait for that moment."Pregnant wife - "But still you haven't told me what you are expecting...!! will it be a boy or girl?"Husband - hahaha..!! Does it make any difference?"Pregnant wife - No it doesn't, but still everyone has some things...!! like, if it will be a boy I will do this or if it would be a girl I will do this and so on.Husband - Oh! That way? Oh yes, I have some things in my mind about that.Pregnant wife - Really! Tell me too.Husband - If we have a boy, I will teach him all mischievous things. I will teach him maths, we will go for sports, I will teach him fishing and so on.Pregnant wife - haha..!! and what what if its a girl?Husband - If we have a girl... I will not have to teach her anything.Pregnant wife - Why dear?Husband - Because she will be the one who will teach me all the things, again...like how to dress, how to eat, what to say, what not to say…!! In short, she will be my second mom...!! and She will consider me as her hero even if I do not do anything special, She will always understand when I will refuse her for something. She will always compare her husband to be me. No matter how old she will be... she will always want that I should treat her like my baby doll. She will fight with the world for me and if someone will hurt me, she will never forgive that person...!!Pregnant wife - So you mean to say that your daughter will do all those things but your son will not?Husband - No.. no! May be he will do the same but he will learn to do them. But daughters are born with it. Being the father of a daughter is the pride for any man.Pregnant wife - But darling, she will not be with us forever.Husband - Yes, but we will be with her, in her heart, forever. So it really doesn't make a difference where she goes.Daughters are Angels...!! Born with Unconditional Love & Care..!! Forever and Ever..!!Honey..!!