Do black mothers disapprove of their sons dating white girls?
There's a guy I'd like to go out with but everytime I see his mother she growls at me and gives me dirty looks. Not to mention she was happy that he broke up with his last girlfriend who was white. I was raised to not see color, but I feel like I'm going to start a war if I go out with him. What's your take on the situation?
Why would a father hate his Son?
My heart goes out to you John. I had a step father that hated me because of my race, and I understand how it feels to be hated for something that you have no control over. Essentially, we are who we are, and what's more, is you should be amazingly proud of who you are, no matter what package you come in! Never let anyone make you feel less than what you are. And John, my friend, you are magnificently significant! Now that you are in America with your mother, perhaps many things will change for you. I cannot understand, and there really isn't too much I can say that would help you understand why your father treated you the way he did. Perhaps he had some preexisting idea of how you should be, or what you should be involved in before you were born. He might have foolishly decided that since you weren't up to his expectations, that you weren't someone he could be proud of. Any parent that would think so little of their child is outrageously ridiculous in their thinking. And believe me, my opinion of your father is not a very good one. What's more, in time, perhaps when you are an adult, you might think try to find out how your father's father treated him. After all, your father had to have learned this behavior from someone. A parent, a grandparent, or another relative or friend. That would be up to you. And should you choose not to concern yourself, I support that notion as well. At any rate, you should make it a point to remind yourself that you are an inspiration. And sometimes, we have to be our own inspiration to find peace with ourselves and our abilities. You will face many people in the world that will judge you for petty reasons. My best advice? Don't listen to such ignorance! Always be you, always be proud to be you, and take on any challenge with a mind that is truly secure in success. One person's hurtful words, or opinions of you will never define who you are. Remember that!! With that, John...I wish you the best, and many happy years to come! Good luck!!
I hate my sons father!!!!?
I have an 11 month old son. Since the day i found out I was pregnant his dad has made my life hell. Didn't want to support my pregnancy and stuff even his mom said I should abort my son. I hate her too. Now that's my son is here they act like their are so in love with him. My sons dad acts like nothing never happened. And when we tried too move forward and wants me too meet his fiancé she tells him that she not ready too talk too me because she feels like I'm a bad mother. He told her I was keeping him away from his son. Which wasn't true when he would set datE but never show too get him. Then he will dispear for weeks. He always makes people think I'm the bad person. But nobody seems too acknowledged the fact of what was said and done too me. The mother of your child u don't treat like **** and treat her the way he did me. U just don't do it. He never once apologize too me. And that's exactly why u can move forward because there is conversation we never had and he knows that. I'm not in love with this man any more and nor do I want him. I'm just tired of him painting this bad picture of me. Tired of lies. I hope my son does turn out like him.
Can a father be jealous of his son's success?
Yes and yes- they can become violent too over that--- Talk to me anytime. I have some questions for you. 1st of all youre being tricked. You think since they are parents that they are just being normal with what they say, and they have a right to talk like that as parents. Turns out many parents are abusers. They are not trying to be tough to make you responsible- they are tricking you. Hurting people hurt others. It's not you.. They are the ones who have a problem. People/parents do mean things or lie to control. They just want the reaction so they can get high feel good from it. You have to look at the agenda. Abuse is anything and words that are not uplifting. So forget what truth is being used right then. Remember -THEY actually get high on being mean, and thats why they do it, they are wrong about everything. So the parent becomes abusive and the children get sick with so called mental Illnesses- painful but not disorders, but it can be stopped. You dont have a problem its them. Psychiatrists commit fraud in that there is zero science in what they do. They do not draw blood to test for imbalances. For chemical imbalances no test exists. There is no conception of what a correct chemical balance would look like to date. People in the FDA agree. Remember, after abuse sickness can be a spiritual problem - Jesus name is needed to banish what is there. God wants you to know truth, forgive, and get away from them. You sure feel better after reading the links. http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Emotional-Abuse-from-Your-Parents-%28for-Adolescents%29 -Abuse from parent http://www.nemasys.com/ghostwolf/Resources/abusedef.shtml#verbal - Are you being abused or not? http://www.googobits.com/articles/2446-inside-the-mind-of-an-abuser-what-you-need-to-know.html The mind of an abuser http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b30iwhEw9ho See real docs explain what shrinks do. Source--Seeing people healed on a regular basis in a ministry- healing without meds. 30+ years exp -abuse etc..
Why did my father become my enemy after having a son with another wife?
It could be any of a number of reasons. For example, perhaps he felt trapped in his relationship with your mom, and doesn’t want to think about anything related to that relationship any longer. Or perhaps he so dislikes your mom that he wants to avoid her at all costs. Or perhaps he isn’t really your enemy - but he just doesn’t have enough time in his life to spend time with you and with his new family.Or maybe there are a dozen other possible reasons.Why not try this - calmly sit down with your dad and tell him how you feel, and why you feel that. Then be willing to stop talking and let him talk - and you listen. Try to understand what he says. If he says that he does love you, then when it is your turn to respond, ask him to help you plan some activity that you can do. Be open to doing it with him and his new family if he asks for that or just assumes that is how the event goes.He is an adult. He has a complex life - at least two different families. He is not in a place where you are the center of his attention. To expect him to act in that way is unrealistic.To ask for some attention, and be willing to share that attention, is a more realistic expectation. And perhaps, after a few of that type of activity, you can ask to have a “just dad and me” type activity.
What makes a father jealous of his son?
There are several explanations for why a father might be jealous of his son. First, perhaps the father feels that the son has taken the attention away from him and he doesn’t like sharing attention with his son. This could be true of some narcissists or men with borderline personality disorder. Second, perhaps the son is more accomplished in one or many areas. The son is academically smarter, more athletic, more popular, makes more money, has a higher status career, is more handsome or any combination of these factors. Last, the father may be a jealous person in general, not just with the son.Most fathers are proud of their son’s success and accomplishments. Most fathers understand that small children have high needs and their needs will often come first. It is a sad thing indeed for a father to be jealous of his son.
My son won't talk to me because I divorced his father. How should I approach him?
He’s angry and confused, possibly even frightened, because his whole world has just swiveled around. If it was your choice to divorce, that may be one reason he blames you. Another possibility is that your ex may be telling him it was your fault and even working to turn him against you. I’ve seen that happen in very nasty ways, to the point at which sons professed to hate their mothers, even though it was mostly the husband’s fault that divorce was necessary.Talk to your husband (preferably with a counselor present) and try to determine what he is telling your son. He needs to know that taking out his anger on you through your kid is damaging to both of you.If it isn’t him, then try sitting your son down and let him know that you love him and always will, that you get why he’s upset and that you are as well. While he may not need or want details of the break-up, it might help if you explain how miserable you were in the marriage. Let him know that not all marriages succeed and you are sorry yours did not. But tell him that it’s unfair for him to blame you. Point out that all relationships are a “two-way street” or they fail.I would suggest counseling for him alone, so he has a place to vent, to process feelings and try to understand them. He has sustained a huge loss, probably bigger than yours or your husband’s, so naturally, his feelings are more intense. If he is a teen, it is easier to blame you than his dad because boys are going through a phase of distancing themselves anyway from Mom—called “differentiation”. This makes it much easier to paint you as the “bad guy”.Have patience, don’t give up on him but make sure you don’t tolerate disrespect, insults, outbursts of anger that aren’t deserved and especially not his siding with Dad against you.
As a white father/mother, would you want you daughter or son to date someone who is black? Why? Assume they’d be equally happy with someone of your own race.
I'm not a white parent, but allow me to comment.So many factors to consider here. Are the person they're dating living alone independently or does s/he belong to a very close knit family where they'll be surrounded all the time? I was married to someone from a different background and his family (and later he himself) unfortunately always saw me as an outsider, or an intruder, even though I learned the language and everything. That's something to consider. Although I believe if the partner is supportive even this won't matter.Generally, if the person my child was dating was a decent human being, brought up nicely with good values, was kind and generous, and they could live independently without too much interference from either side of the family, I wouldn't care about their ethnicity or the colour of their skin.Also, no one can decide for anyone else in the world how happy or unhappy they'd be with someone, and it has nothing to do with the colour of the individual's skin or even their ethnicity or race. To assume that my child is inherently more likely to be happy with someone of her own race would be wrong. Let them make their own choices, their own mistakes. It's essential for their growth.